I need to be a femi-nazi tonight.

Yes, I said it.  FEMI-NAZI.  I was branded one in college.  Because I studied Petra Kelly, because I had a well-loved copy of the Feminine Mystique, because I wore my hair short.. I was a femi-nazi.  And I was proud of it.  I had my own room in Napier Hall, which by-the-book was a boys’ dorm, but I was one of the boys.  I was not a girl.  I was a boy.

Since that tender, young age of 17, I’ve learned that my feminine wiles can be put to good use.  Quite frankly, I can get whatever I damn well want just by working what I’ve got.  Sadly, not all women realize that power.  I watch so many women THINK they’ve got it all wrapped up, but they just look so empty.. so clueless..

Now, I’m at an age where I use what I need to in order to get what I want, but it’s my brains and intelligence that help me stay at that level.  I constantly take training courses to stay as educated on our systems as I can.  I do everything that I know to do to stay on top of my game.

And if I say so myself, I am damn good at it.

HOWEVER, I work with engineers.

I wrote two months ago about an engineer who handed me a fist full of wadded paper and said, “Here are my receipts for my last two trips.  Maybe three.  Can you file those for me?”  And I did.  I went through them all.  I itemized them, made sure they all were designated to the right charge numbers, and filed and faxed the final reports.  Two months ago.

Today, that traveler needed an emergency trip booked for him, one that would have him leaving at seven in the a.m.. tomorrow.  No sweat, I thought.  So I called Travel and, with my masterful skills, had a picture-perfect itinerary set up in a matter of minutes.

Ten minutes later, I got an email from a travel rep.  His card was declined.

I figured, “Well, travel expense must not have paid all of those expense reports,” which is not unlikely and would have his credit card balance close to $20K.. therefore maxing out the card.  So I frantically put in phone call after phone call.. trying to get his credit limit raised.  Main problem?  The engineer never designated anyone but himself as an authorized user of the account, therefore my calling was going nowhere.

So I call Travel Accounting to see why the reports had not been paid.

Simply put?  He had not approved them.  Though I hurried to get them done, they had been sitting in his in box for two months, accruing interest and late fees, and nothing had ever been approved.

I can only lead you to the bathroom, dear.  You have to wipe your own ass.

Don’t forget: tonight is the amazing VM auditions!!  Everyone who came last week has been asked to attend this week (although it’s understandable if you can’t attend.. we’re fully expecting Nina to have had a baby at that point!), and I’m sure we’ll see some new faces as well.  In fact, we’ve even got a few men who are wanting to come by to watch the auditions for casting purposes in their own shows.  So it should be a great turn-out.. and you’d better believe it’s gonna be a blast.

I slept so well last night.  We were both in bed and asleep by 9:30, which was blissfully early.  I slept until 7:30 the next morning.  I feel like a new person.  And we’ve got layers of quilts on the bed in lieu of a bedspread, and the weight of it puts me out like a light.  C’est si bon.

So The Boy has strep.  This is not fun.  We’re gonna do a major scrubdown of the house soon, but how do you know when you’ve disinfected everything you need to?  Especially when your house is in limbo, like ours is.. and we don’t know what he may or may not have come into contact with while he was here, since it’s most likely moved since then?  Damn.  Sucks.  But I hope he feels better.  Nothing tugs at your heartstrings more than a sick little boy.

Delle’s cousin got married last week, and her colors were similar to mine.  She has stolen a bunch of the ideas and we’re well on our way to actually making some plans.  It was more of a cranberry color, black, white, and a pearled gold.  She said it was VERY dramatic, very elegant.. which is everything I want.  I’m just gonna steal her wedding.  It’s far easier than planning my own. (Does this make me a lousy bride?)

We watched “Nanny 911″ last night.  Holy hell.  I’ve never seen such a buffoon with a family.  This grown man, active in his church, with six kids and a wife.. spent all of an hour at home during the day.  He’d actually come home from work long enough to eat, then rush off to some other “committment” and leave his wife at home with 6 babies.  OF COURSE, SHE WAS OVERWHELMED.  Then, when Nanny finally confronted him, he admitted that he felt his time was better spent elsewhere, because it was more enjoyable to BE elsewhere, rather than deal with his family.  THIS IS A CHURCH MAN.  HE ADMITTED THIS ON NATIONAL TV.  And not five minutes later, one of his daughters left the house and he didn’t realize it.  Almost a half hour after sitting there, playing on his guitar, Nanny had to point out that after a headcount, they were missing a kid.  HOLY HELL.

Which just proves my point.. BIRTH CONTROL WILL SAVE THE WORLD.

5 Random Things about Sarah (to be delivered in 3rd person):

1. Sarah is a natural blonde.  But when she was a blonde, she was considered “bitchy”.  Since going red, she is now considered “feisty”.. and she prefers it that way.
2. Sarah is planning a wedding and almost lost her fiance last Thursday night.  While trying to set up for a concert at his school’s theatre, some breakers that he was unaware of (and therefore, had not powered “off”) touched metal, burning holes through his shirt.  Miraculously (or, perhaps, through good karma), he survived unscathed.
3. Sarah picks up languages very easily.  She has taken many years of french (although she can speak very little of it, she understands more than she lets on), latin, and a little bit of spanish.  She hopes to become fluent in either Italian or ASL before she turns 30.
4. Sarah is very strongly italian.  This means she has a deep love of food, a huge respect for family and friends, and a thirst for vengeance that isn’t very easily quenched.
5. Sarah is a HUGE believer in karma.  Even before “My Name is Earl” made it a more widely-known phenomenon, Sarah practiced “what comes around, goes around” and has seen it in action.  On a daily basis.