Bryan and I were enjoying our few minutes together last night, listening to the clock tick, when I came out of nowhere with something.  He always knows when I’m going to come out with a doozie, because I’ll take a deep breath, start to speak, rethink it, and THEN finish my sentence.  I do this to prepare him.

“Bryan,” I started.

“Yes, Sarah,” he answered.

“Do you think I’m a hypocrite?”

He got very quiet.  He put his hand on my thigh and cocked his head, thinking.  “That’s a very strange question,” he said.  “Can I ask what prompted it?”

I looked away.  “You don’t want to know,” I told him.  “But I just wondered if, you know, YOU thought I was a hypocrite.  If you thought I have handled things the Christian way.”

I love asking him about religion.  He’s very good at it, and I forget that.

“The Bible is very contradictory,” he started.  “It says things like “turn the other cheek” and then, not two sentences later, says things like “an eye for an eye”.  So you can’t really find any definite rules in there.”

“Oh,” I said.

“EXCEPT,” he said, “for the two things I think are solid.  Many people don’t quote the whole verse, but it’s actually ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged likewise‘.  Meaning, if you know in your heart of hearts that you’ve got your stuff in order, you can judge to your hearts content.  But you can’t go throwing rocks in glass houses.  So if you’re, say, judging someone on honesty.. you’d better be sure that you’ve been honest.”

“I have!” I said.  “I’m not proud of how everything’s been handled, but I’ve been completely honest.  I’ve been very forthright.  I’ve never hidden, and I’ve always backed up what I said, even if I regretted it later.”

“Then I think that’s not at all hypocritical,” he said.

“What was the other thing you thought was solid?” I asked.

“To love your neighbor as yourself,” he answered.  We both sat in silence for a second, staring at eachother.

“Well, it’s good to have goals,” I muttered.  And we laughed.