it is 6:39 a.m. you’re asking yourself, “why is sarah up?” and that’s a very valid question.

sarah just can’t sleep. it’s as if my body has decided that it’s time to go back to work.. so let’s go!

instead, i’m watching the sunrise and cudding with My Baby Mabel (who is, technically, not supposed to be on the couch with me, but she’s my baby). sunrises always make me deep. sorry about what’s to follow. you can stop reading now and go visit boing boing or something instead, should you care to.

we had a date night last night. it actually didn’t start that way, but it ended up that way.. and that really kinda brought some things to light.

the night actually started because, in my more recent efforts to save money, i took a gig as a singing telegram girl. (this is because it’s the only RESPECTABLE cash-on-delivery job i was offered.. although the pay is SIGNIFICANTLY less.) anyway, last night, i was booked for a doctor’s birthday, and they specifically asked for marilyn monroe. geez, i don’t know if i can do that, i told my agent. it might be a little out of my league.

::cue coy giggle::

anyway, so i put on my boobs-barely-hanging-in dress, slid on my black velvet gloves, and strutted right in there. bryan drove because.. well, because it’s just better to not go alone. learned that one young. so i was supposed to call the organizer on the cell phone when i arrived to find out where the party is sitting, but the restaurant was COMPLETELY devoid of any cell phone reception (how odd IS that?), so i had to wander through the slammed dining establishment, asking random tables (in a breathy, high pitched, natural blonde kinda voice), “is there a birthday boy here who needs some help blowing out his candle?”

needless to say, when i found the good doctor, i had drilled up quite a buzz. don’t EVER tell me i can’t work a room.

sang “what are you doing new year’s eve?” and the famous (and slutty) marilyn classic “happy birthday, (dr)”. the good doctor was visibly uncomfortable.. which just egged me on more. got a standing ovation after both numbers. and had more people ask me for my card than i was prepared for.. which was everyone, because i had not a card on me. and let’s just admit it, pulling a business card out of my boobs would’ve been the ultimate finale. ::sigh:: next time.

anyway, the organizer gave me a LOVELY tip, so i thought bryan and i deserved a nice night. we went for beauregards (mm hm), got waaay too full, then wandered down to the bookstore to “walk off the full”.

which brings me to this, which we talked about later.. bryan and i just honestly ENJOY each other. we make each other do spittakes. we laugh A LOT. we enjoy touching each other. we constantly think of each other. and we are both human.. we both make mistakes. A LOT. we both admit to them, we talk about them, and then we move on. it’s all about honesty and respect.. and the two go hand in hand.

i guess i thought it about it because, although i’m an honest person, i’m not known for respecting the men i’m with. they have to EARN it. bryan did. and i know that it’s been a long while since bryan’s been inspired to respect a woman he’s with. so we work. we’re honest, and we respect eachother.

i’m sure there’s more to it than that. but i think, as far as life is concerned.. it’s not a bad starting point.

y’all pray for me. we are going to try and go for most of today without gamecube. we have packed the day with outdoor activities, homework, cleaning, and stuff that, sometimes, you have to do. yes, there IS a gamecube right there.. but guess what? that doesn’t mean that you GET to play it.

last night was fun. i actually left the scrapbook materials in my car because if i brought it in, i’d open my online checking account and try and rationalize buying a corner rounder. clearly, i cannot do this for two reasons: i have a wedding to be saving for.. and elaine is having a candle party later in the month that also requires my money.

i came home to a very sleepy man last night. there was a smoldering log in the fireplace, a sleepy man in bed, and a very happy pair of arms waiting on me.

then we talked for another hour.

and that was pretty much my night last night.

oh, and after all of the wine and saucy conversation at scrapbooking (y’all didn’t know we could make scrapbooking racy, did you?), we took an extended trip to decatur.

no peanut m&ms, though. just decatur.

next on the wedding front is the invitations. we received a GINORMOUS book of invitations in the mail, but they were all very… not… us. at all. one of ‘em had freaking cowboys and horses on them. not at all. no thanks. so we’re gonna have to focus on finding something that IS us.

costco is going to be a huge friend in wedding planning, i think.

so i have a question for the ladies out there (and the men, too, i suppose.. if you have an opinion): how much of your wedding had you actually planned before you got engaged? did you have a very specific idea of what you wanted the wedding to be? did you actually pick out random things with no conceivable notion that you would EVER snare a man?

i only ask because i hadn’t done any of this. which kinda makes it way more fun.

ra gave me a silver necklace for christmas. steph has one too. it’s a coven thing, ra says. it has a very true statement engraved on it: “well behaved women rarely make history”.

it was too much fun tonight, getting out the house and hanging with my girls. yesterday with delle, tonight with the wildechicks.. this week has been hard on me. it’s been much harder than i ever could have conceived to jump into parenthood and be half a mom. i really didn’t expect it to be so exhausting, frustrating, and utterly unforgiving.. and it TOTALLY is. i have a newfound respect for parents in general.. but stepparents have gained a new love in my heart.

it is just something else entirely to raise a child from the beginning, but to come in half way and try to NOT exude all of your personal feelings about child-rearing. you have to keep your distance and try and bite your tongue while still helping to maintain peace and order in your own house.

i think i’ve been fairly one-sided in this discussion so far.. which is unfair. bryan has been more than accomodating so far. and The Boy is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a bad child. he’s just been reared differently than i was raised. and things that i find important and worth fighting for, bryan’s been great about backing me on.

but you know what i think? i think the most crucial part of child-rearing is having a coven to vent to. we talked about thumb-sucking, talked about gamecubes, talked about how we all were raised and how it could be incorporated in my house.

it’s networking. for, like, real life.

it’s a coven thing. priceless.