It began on Monday.

Well, I take that back.  The invasion actually began late August.  We started noticing them, creeping in the shadows, scurrying in the dark, but we rarely saw them in the light.  So we really had no idea what we were up against.

We learned quickly that we had unknowingly been aiding the enemy: I keep a steady supply of zinc drops in my medicine cabinet, to ward off oncoming colds, and when Bryan pulled it out a few weeks ago, we noticed the box had been eaten through, and there were many droppings inside.  And even then, Bryan noted, “Hmm.. I’ll bet whatever got in here is now much stronger, having had this zinc.”  He was mocking me.. but he had no clue.

On Monday morning, I got up from bed, dizzy as I have been, and stumbled to the shower.  It being before dawn, I was slightly sleepy and not really noticing much from the real world when something tickled my leg.

Now, it should be noted that since I rouse an hour before my beloved, I try and keep as quiet as possible so he can sleep as much as possible.

When I looked down to scratch this itch on my leg, on my calf was the largest palmetto bug I’ve ever, EVER seen.. couldn’t have been less than three inches long.  I bit my tongue and only whimpered as I threw this monster across the tub floor, where he landed helpless on his back.  The water was streaming over us, a soundtrack to this battle, and we stared at eachother for a good two minutes.  His legs flailed uselessly, and I assesed the situation.  My bathroom is laid out in such a way that I can’t reach anything useful to grab this small animal.  Finally, I reach outside of the shower curtain and grabbed a handful of toilet paper.  Despite my addiction to high quality TP, it immediately disintegrated the minute I brought it inside the shower, becoming just a handful of mush with which I was supposed to grab this demon.

I finally summoned all of my courage and made one lunge for the bug.  The water blinded my eyes and thwarted my aim, allowing him to flip over and scurry about my feet.  I whimpered again, and made one more attempt to catch him, only succeeding in seperating his abdomen from his thorax.  I again took a deep breath and made a grab for all of the bug, and threw his two pieces into the toilet, where he swam for the duration of my shower.

I thought I had won the war, but nay, it was only the battle.

This morning, his brother surfaced to avenge his death.