So I’ve been having a rough week.  Work is majorly crazy and insanely stressful lately, due to this huge re-organization that STILL has not come to fruition, and I’m just stuck between a rock and a hard place where other things are concerned.  I’ve been trying to still stay all sunshiney and keep my chin up, but it’s really starting to bother me. 

God love him, Bryan is doing all he knows to do.  And it sounds a bit nutty, but what I need is someone to just reach into my chest and start pumping my heart again.  I just feel stalled.  Tomorrow will help.

Anyway, I’ve been bummed.  Bottom line.  And when I’m upset (sick, scared, tired, etc), I pull away completely.  I’m unreachable.  It takes an earthquake to bring me back sometimes.

One of our supply guys just came in and said, "Hey, Sarah.. we bought one too many packages of batteries.  Do you need any AA batteries?"

.. well, sir, as a matter of fact.. you just made my weekend.

Hope you have a great buzz this weekend!

- "music of heaven", Jason Robert Brown

In a very Jason Robert Brown mood today.  He also has one of my favorite quotes EVER: "People think I’m failing / they never understand / these temporary setbacks / are part of what I planned."  But that song up there,
Music of Heaven, captures what I think is the most amazing feeling.  Have you ever been in a room and surrounded by beautiful music?  I don’t mean the accoustics were good.. or a band was playing well.. I mean, have you ever been SURROUNDED, on several (if not all four, then at least three) sides, by people singing in five part harmony?  It is the single most amazing feeling.  You feel saturated by music.  Every pore of your body is rhythmic.

And when you’re sad, you long for that exhilaration.

When you’re tired, you hope for that amazing adrenaline.

When you are worn down, you thirst for that inspiration.

And when you have no idea where to turn next, you hope for that security.

I’ve heard it described as a musical orgasm, but I think that desecrates it.  I think it’s purer.  I think it’s breathing in God.

I need to sing.

 - "Someone to Fall Back On", Jason Robert Brown

Ahhh, JRB.  My sister and I drool over the mere mention of him.  I found him two years ago, when Nashville debuted his senior show (written and produced by, and starring himself).  It was about a relationship (very rocky) with the love of his life.. a girl with short, curly hair named Sarah.  Sound familiar?  But it was amazing.  It was so surreal.  Wow.  I still get all giggly thinking about it.  There is nothing like watching someone you felt so incredibly deeply for singing to "you" and kissing "you" and loving "you" right back on stage.  Anyway, I told you that story to tell you this one.. at the climax of the show, Nashville asked Sarah to spend the rest of his life with him with the song "
The Next Ten Minutes", from The Last 5 Years.  It was so incredibly moving.  Jesus.  And of course, after they sang this powerful and deeply touching song to each other, she inevitably pulled a "Sarah" and used ONE OF MY QUOTES.. Jonathan says, "But Sarah, I love you."

Sarah looks him dead in the eye, cups his cheek in her hand, and says quietly, "Sometimes, in real life, love isn’t enough."

He even got my moves down.  Bastard.

Anyway, on the way back, I asked Barry where the song came from.  He popped in the CD, and we listened to it the entire way home from Nashville.  We both cried.  I bawled.  Wow, I thought.. what an amazing writer.  He turned usable dialogue into music.  It was witty, it was lyrical, it was poetry in motion.  Forget "Rent", guys.. this is the real deal here.

So I went home and bought the CD.  OHMYDEARLORD, I told Delle, you have to hear this musical.

And the rage began.

But one thing I noticed.. EVERYONE associated with the show had three names.  Jamie was played by Norbert Leo Butz.  Kathy was played by Sherie Rene Scott.  It was written by Jason Robert Brown.

I wanted to play.  I appeared in my last show as Sarah Lena Brown.

And when I thought back to it, the program for Nashville’s show read as Jonathan Gregg McDaniel.

So be cool.  Have three names.