When I was 19, I was dating a military captain. He was GORGEOUS. OHMYGOODLORD, he was hot. 6’2″, 190 lbs, TONED, bald-headed.. dimples.. just an all around looker. And, you know, he was sort of a good personality. Kinda.
Anyway, since we started dating when he was stationed at RSA, but he was soon transferred to VA. He would come back here regularly, and we’d always stay in the luxury Motel 6 on Madison Boulevard. He was that kind of big spender. Anyway, we would spend the weekend together. In this one hotel room. With one bathroom.
Well, one of the things that he so adored about me was my lady-like nature (I’m an actress.. shove it). And I have this slight .. issue .. with digestion. It’s much like IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) except the symptom is not as convenient as constipation. Quite the opposite. Food goes through me at a rate seen only in nuclear labs. So those who are close to me know this, and when we are out to eat and I give them the look, all I have to say is, “We’ve gotta go home soon,” and they know to respond with “CHECK, PLEASE!”
Because I will not (WILL NOT) ruin a public restroom. WILL NOT.
Anyway, so we were stuck together in this little rinky-dink hotel room. And, well, you know.. nature calls.
I really did not know how to handle it, so instead, I’d just say, “You know what? I’m gonna run out and get some bagels for breakfast.”
Then I’d tear up the lobby bathroom. Tear. It. Up.
And of course, I’d stop at the Texaco to get some bagels (also might be biscuits, muffins, etc).
So when I say I’m gonna go get bagels..
FYI – This is now a common phrase among the theatre community. JW would always make a point of stepping into a large group of people during CC last year, right before he was to go on, and say, “Hey, guys, I’m fixing to go get some bagels.. anyone want some of my bagels?”