Archive | October, 2005

MWAH HA HA.. (evil laugh)

So, now, my sinuses have completely taken over my life.  They have made the last sneezing attack their coup d’eta, and I have surrendered with a white flag that looks amazingly like a cheap office kleenex.  And might I add, they are NOT comfortable on the noses.

Text message to Bryan: I don’t feel like Trick or Treating tonight.  I feel like poo.

Text message from Bryan: I will take care of you.

Which is a huge consolation, admittedly.

The Boy is going as a werewolf for Halloween.  This is very exciting but kind of out of the blue.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I understand.  Power Rangers, I can grasp.  But a werewolf seems really out of left field, considering the only exposure he’s had to the creatures is “Wallace and Grommit’s Curse of the WereRabbit”.. and as you can see.. it’s not really a wolf.  So I’m at a loss.

Chappie, who is this older southern country man that works with me just came over to visit and told me his plan for tonight.  He says, “I’m gonna sit out on the porch with two coolers.  Candy to my right and beer to my left.  The candy’s for the kids and the beer’s for the good lookin’ mommas.”

Ah, Halloween in the south.

Delle is attending some VERY LARGE Halloween parade in New York.  She leads such a big city life.  I miss her terribly.  I hope she knows that.  I’m ready for her to come home.

So Halloween is upon us.  I hope there’s some spooky tv tonight.  If nothing else, Bryan’s rented “The Ring” (and amazingly, has not yet returned it.. y’all all know how I am about returning movies), so I could cuddle up with that.  No one call me tonight, though.

I hope everyone has a safe and freakishly fun Halloween! 
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Elmer? Elmer Fudd? Is that you?

I once heard a comedian relate that, when you’re sick, you can’t help but answer the phone like Elmer Fudd.  “Heh-woh?  Heh-woh?”  That’s how I sound.  I ran home to eat lunch with my Momma, which was OUTSTANDING (cheeseburger pie, a delight that is rarely matched), but something in the air between there and here has my allergies in a tizzy.  I haven’t stopped sneezing in an hour, and Boss is two more sneezes away from sending me home.  It’s making me light-headed, all of the sneezing.  It’s just the time of year.

I’m not giving out candy this year.  I know how Scrooge-y that makes me sound, but last year was such a horrible experience with giving out candy that I don’t want to participate this year.  And more and more churches are doing festivities for Halloween, so I’m REALLY against it.  Don’t get me wrong, I think churches participating are a blessed thing, but I think it’s unfair for children to go to Trunk-or-Treat on Sunday night and stock up on candy, only to show up on my doorstep on Monday night and rob me of my candy.  Also, I’m very against these busloads of children that empty out in my neighborhood to take my candy.  I want the local kids to get my candy.  Don’t you have a neighborhood? 

Okay, so really, I just remember the kids from last year that walked into my house when I didn’t answer the door fast enough for them.  Wandered into MY house, into MY living room.. with their parents.  Their excuse?  “We saw that you are having a party..”

FOR YOU?!  DID YOU GET AN INVITATION?!

Sorry.  Small rant there.

No, at this rate, I will be curled up, post-bath, on Bryan’s overstuffed green leather sofa, reading Little Earthquakes and drinking tea.  And really, until I have my own younguns to tote around and steal candy from, this may be how I spend Halloweens from now on.
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The Beauty of the Euphamism

Euphamisms one may use to describe “doin’ the nasty”:

  • “Playing the piano”
  • “Making the beast”
  • “Having a Joystick Marathon”
  • “Building a tree house
  • “Commensing in the Shoop Shoop”
  • “Taking a nap”
  • “Do you wanna play naked?”
  • “Eating peanut M&Ms”
  • “Beating around the bush”
  • “Vulcanize the whoopee stick”
  • “Goin’ to Decatur”
  • “Eating chicken wings”
  • “Makin’ fudge”
  • “Playing Slap the Monkey”
  • “Riding the pony”

Feel free to add your own in comments below.  Just thought I’d fill you in on slutty lingo.

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Post Weekend Depression

Kendra Kizer must be eliminated because she has "You’re the One that I Want" all up in my head now.  And really, just the chorus of it.  Crap.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!  Hope everyone has a very pagan day today.  I, myself, am dressed as a hippie.  I’m wearing a vintage shirt of my father’s which vaguely resembles a persian rug fitted to my curves.  I hate to say it, because it’s a fairly unattractive shirt GENERALLY, but I rock it.  I always get people trying to buy it from me when I wear it.

Anyway. 🙂

God, what a great weekend.  What a crappy Monday.  I hate going back to work after GREAT weekends.

Nashville was too much fun.  We laughed a WHOLE WHOLE bunch, got some great massages.. and learned some amazing things.  For instance, Stephanie is a cuddler.  Betcha didn’t know that.  Also, Aruba Jam Sprite Remix makes Ronda cough.  We stayed up too late, shopped too much, and just generally had a great girls weekend.  It was so fantastic. 

Yesterday was nice.  Since my house was already spotless, I was left with little to do.  So Bryan and I slept WAAAAY in, not leaving the bed till almost eleven, then just piddled around the house until he left for basketball practice.  I ran to the park to enjoy the weather, then to WalMart to get the fudge-makins.  I promised everyone here at work a batch of fudge today, but WalMart was out of sugar.  Welllll.. Ronda had earlier that weekend touted the brilliance of Splenda, so I grabbed some Baking Splenda instead. 

So, lesson learned, baking Splenda is NOT sugar, and fudge made with it does not set up well.  No matter how strongly you pray.

When Bryan got back, we went furniture shopping (tee hee hee..), then headed to the park because he was jealous he did not get to enjoy it earlier.  There was a huge jam session happening over by the rocks, so we stayed there for just a bit and then walked around the entire perimeter.  It was such a gorgeous day.

We went home and snacked on random things, not wanting to make dinner, and then took the dogs out.  Bryan was great and walked Mabel while I ran with Charlie.  We came home, and I BAWLED IN FRONT OF GREY’S ANATOMY (ohmydearlord, what an episode), and we crashed.  So feel informed.

But I have NOT shaved my legs again, so there’s that.

But, WildeChicks.. I am wearing my special panties this morning, after a trip to Decatur.  I thought about y’all. 🙂
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LIVE at big spring!!

THIS IS THE SPOON, COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM BIG SPRING PARK.

that’s my new nickname. well, apparently, it’s not new to everyone, but i just learned of it this weekend. i was really hoping for ‘the spork’, but at least i have a goal now.

there must be a fire. the firetruck just left.

it’s been a great weekend. other than this nagging headache which i can’t seem to shake, everything is wonderful. the wildechick outing was FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC (i shall write more tomorrow when i have time), and when i came home, bryan had cleaned my house. yes, he is truly my bitch. he cleaned my house from top to bottom (including the hardwood floors and bathroom), he bathed the dogs.. and he had cooked a gourmet dinner. i was just excited to come home to HIM.. and then he put the icing on the cake.

and we went to decatur. round trip. 🙂

i’m getting a few questions about decatur, so i may have to explain in a later post. in the meantime, feel free to email me any euphamisms you may use. YOU KNOW.

bryan’s driver’s license is about to expire. i said it was good because he needs to update his address (as he still has his “green” address on there. he said he would get it renewed just in time to have a more permanent address put on there. i smiled. i think it’s gonna happen.

it is a beautiful day at the park.

i love pigeons. it comes from an intense love of bert. i thought i was the only one, but i knew it was truly kismet when bryan knew all the words to “doin’ the pigeon” too.

that seemed random, i know, but there are pigeons EVERYWHERE at the park today.

i’m sitting right by my car. i am a TERRIBLE parallel-parker (admittedly), so i always park somewhere around the no-parking zones (either in front of or behind) so i always have room to get out. some guy came up to me and this is the following conversation:

him: excuse me, is that your mustang?
me: yes sir, it is. why?
him: you know, you’re parked kinda far back in the slot, and we’re having trouble parking behind you.
me: i would TOTALLY move my car, but..
him (abrasviely): BUT?
me: yes, but.. but you see those cross-hatch lines across that space you’re trying to park in? that’ll get you towed.
him: aw, no one checks those on the weekends.
me: they would when i called them to tell them you parked there. be gone.

because, yes, i am THE SPOON.

*EDIT*
i totally forgot to mention the phone call when i leaving nashville yesterday.. bill called and i called him back (because he called from a number i didn’t recognize), and after we established that i wasn’t “mama?”, he asked me to understudy L5Y, as well as being stage manager and being pre-show entertainment. so that made me smile.

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