.. but you have NO idea.

You have no idea what it’s like.  I know it’s easy to hear one side, because only one side is talking, and assume that you’re fully informed.  It’s easy to make snap judgements.  It’s easy to think that it’s black and white.

It’s not.  It’s pink-and-paisley-striped-plaid.  It’s an MC Escher painting.  It’s an ink blot.

It’s complex and disgusting and angry and sorrowful and pathetic and strong and basically confusing and emotionally scarring and..

There are no straight lines.  There are no distinct self-portraits.. although there are attempts.

But we just look like Picasso got ahold of us.

There is disfigurement and truncation and evil.  There is also remorse and forgiveness.

And rebirth.  God, is there rebirth.

There is enlightenment.  And truth.  And honesty.  It is an honest sketch.

It has gone through shades of gray, rose-colored glasses, and a myriad of rainbows.

But now, there is calm.  There is rest.  There is peace.

Not quite a Norman Rockwell, but a family scene familiar to those who know family.

There is a man and a woman and a child.  And SEVERAL animals.

There is a network of friends.  They are all laughing and smiling.

There is a mountain.  And a Rock City.  And Ruby Falls splash behind them.

There is peace. 

Because it’s a masterpiece.  And it’s done.

I feel like poo today.  And blogspirit is not helping.  It will not load a “New Post” page completely.  It will load all but the “Publish” button.. and as it turns out, that is a very crucial button.

I feel like poo warmed over today.  Bryan and I both have the back-to-school crud, and I’m drained.  Actually, I’m draining.  I’m also very sick, which makes my sense of humor PATHETIC.  We both got so tickled last night, laying in bed, listening to eachother snort and sniffle.  My life is nothing if not sexy.  I know.  Don’t hate.

If y’all don’t mind, please pray for my MaMa.  She is my grandmother, and she means the world to me.  She is VERY sick right now.  Any thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.  If you’ve read my stuff for awhile, you’ve heard me talk about her.  She is VERY italian, and taught me much about being a strong Italian woman.  She also taught me that Campagne women never fear anything.. not even death.  So I’m not afraid for her.. just worried.

I really don’t have much to say today.  Work is kicking my ass, and I’m tired of being broke.  I’m VERY broke right now.  And unfortunately, so is Bryan.  Being broke together sounds like it would be a bonding experience, but really, it’s just stressful.  And we’re hungry.  ALL THE TIME.

I don’t mean to whine about money.  Things will look up.  Soon, even.

Priorities are so important.  Random thoughts, by Sarah Brown.

I’m becoming burnt out in theatre.  It’s about a five year cycle, and mine’s about up.  I just don’t wanna do it anymore.  I’m kinda ready to just watch.  Then, I will make my triumphant return to the stage.  It will be glorious, and there will be thunderous applause.

.. in my head.

Really, that’s all.  For now.  Just.. got.. nothing.