masthead
Thursday Afternoon is Friday Morning
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That’s my theory, anyway.

Well, after a fairly hectic and stressful morning (I don’t know if you caught that), it was actually a fairly pleasant and humorous afternoon.  My Daddy called at lunch, saying he was over at my site (although we work for the same company, he’s across town in another building) and offered to take me out to lunch.  There he surprised me with some really good news involving an OLLLLLLD friend of mine.. my family takes care of our own.  I was very proud to be a Brown today.  And I’m very, VERY happy with Daddy.

We went to Jackson’s, which is about as good home cookin’ as you can get around here.  I blame Elaine.  I had fried okra, which I seriously had been craving since she mentioned her freakish child liking it. :)

After lunch, I came back to wrestle yet again with this lone expense report that has been plaguing me, seriously, for almost two months now.  We rolled out a new accounting system, which ate the report the first time I submitted it, and now, I’m on the phone with tech support so often that I know them by name.  One guy in particular who tickles me is Nick.  He sings to me while we wait.

Today’s bug?  Everytime I tried to save an expense entry, I got the error message, “Hello, World!!”.  Made me laugh.

I’ve been trying.  Crank up my car, and you’ll hear nothing but Christmas music.  And I’ll sing.  And I’ll even get goosebumps when certain songs come on.. the usual traditional hymns, arranged by acapella groups, that make you feel warm all over when they’re sung.  But try as I might, I am not at all looking forward to Christmas Carol this year.  I can’t make myself excited.  I think this may be my final year of CC.  It’s just time to hang up my bonnet.

1:46 pm
So, SO sorry..
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Lemme just describe a typical day to you.  This is not to be like “the lists” or anything else that I typically mock, but to show people that I’m not really the bored day-dreamer that comes across online.

My alarm goes off at 5:40 a.m.  I know that most people don’t even know what THAT EARLY looks like, but let me tell you, even to a seasoned veteran, it’s pretty damn early.  Some days, I’ll “sleep in”; some days, I’ll get up.  The latest I’m out of bed is 6:20.  I’m out the door by seven, if not earlier.

I’m at work at 7:15, if not earlier.

My morning routine basically involves kissing the ass of Boss, whom I really do like.  It’s my job to get him in a good mood for the day.  So no matter how crappy I feel, I have to be okay with fetching him a Diet Pepsi (even if the machine isn’t working and I have to see if the cafeteria has any), color-coordinating his calendar to his liking, and making him laugh hystercially.. usually at my own expense.

Now we’re to 7:30.  This is when the rush starts.  I receive “daily status inputs” from twelve different groups, which I have to coalate and put into one Powerpoint presentation, as aesthetically designated by Boss.  I have to make sure all fonts, colors, and templates are identical.  Every day.

At eight, I have to start three different meetings, in three different conference rooms, two of which are on different floors.  And when I pass Boss’s office, if his phone is ringing, I have to stop what I’m doing and answer it.

At 8:45, I have to set up the first of three management tag ups.  And I should mention that, until I’ve done this, I don’t even get to sit at my own desk.  So files and programs that I may need that morning are most likely unavailable to me. 

At nine, I sit through a management tag-up.  I take notes of action-items and then run up to my real home to type them up and distribute them.

At 9:30, when I finally make it “home”, there are usually a group of ten people waiting on me, all needing something.  Chances are, they haven’t sent me an email or a voicemail.. so I have to write this all down as they talk.

At 10:30, another management tag-up for me to sit through.  I flip charts for this one.. IT’S RIVETING.

At 11:30, I’m finally back “home” for the day.  I can finally start on those ten people that were waiting on me.. but look, there’s ten more!  And I’ve got ten emails and four voicemails!  All needing something!

I’ll spend the next hour or so on hold with: Travel, Accounting, Corporate Cards, or The “Help Desk”.  And get nowhere.

We’re now to one p.m.  I have two meetings to go start, both on opposite ends and floors of the building.  I’m usually stopped in the hall going to or from and given several more tasks that they — AGAIN — haven’t sent to me in any traceable form because they’d “probably forget it”. (But no, me, with my photographic memory, will be FINE.)

At 1:30 p.m., I will have a diet soda.  Which, most likely, contains no caffeine because God has a sense of humor.

It’s now two.  I can FINALLY start spending time on travel arrangements, expense reports, work tickets, and other things that DEMAND my full attention, and usually for lengths of time.  I can work, almost uninterrupted, till three.

At three-fifteen, I’m needed downstairs.  The reason varies.  Sometimes, it’s to support a meeting.  Sometimes, it’s to answer phones.  On occasion, it’s for me to pack up some absent employees belongings.  But it never fails that I’m needing to become engrossed in something around 3:15.

Right after four (after I set up two different meetings at 4:00 p.m. on-the-dot-and-not-one-second-later-or-the-whole-program-will-come-tumbling-down-in-a-hurl-of-fire-and-tears), I can return to my desk and try and figure out what the hell I was doing before I was called away.

Around 4:30, every day, regardless of anything else, it is reliably “SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN” time.  Some emergency will come up, I’ll have to book some international travel leaving THAT NIGHT, and I’ll spend another hour on hold with some lovely muzak, trying in vain to compile the list of the needs from the first ten people who needed something.

Around five-thirty, I realize that I’ve hit an eleven hour day.  And my boss will tell me to go home before I accrue any more overtime.  I leave, but my brain is still on.  I honestly have taken to the habit of laying on my back deck, back on bare wood, for thirty minutes to unwind.

Then I cook dinner.  Then we eat dinner.  Then I do dishes.  I may be off to rehearsal, Book Club, or maybe just a girls’ night out.  I usually get to bed around ten.  Then the whole day begins.

Just so we’re all clear, I support 15 managers on a daily basis, and all of their staff below them.  I am the only administrator on my floor, so I tend to “absorb” everything on that floor, even if they’re not in my org.  I’m in charge of supplies for my entire organization, travel for all of my “group”, and upkeep and maintenance of all of the electronics, desktops, seating, and technology in my building.

So if I let something slip my mind like, say, I don’t know, something I was supposed to do for someone else THAT NO ONE HAD REMINDED ME ABOUT IN THREE WEEKS, you might want to understand that I’m a bit occupied.

I am sorry.  I am also busy, stressed, and a bit pained.

 

9:58 am
Baby Steps
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I itch pretty badly.  I just thought I’d share.  When I brought Charlie into “the shelter,” I bathed the dog I knew how.. I dragged him, claws and paws and all, into the bathroom, picked his large ass up, and dropped him into the bathtub.  He does NOT like the bathtub.  So we fought bathing, and I’ll admit, as a result, he did not get very clean.

But he smelled better.  And I gave him a flea treatment.

That night, Bryan took him home.  We were having a Mary Kay party, and while Mabel is fun and all, Charlie pees on things when new people come over.  My house is not pee-proof.  Unbeknownst to me, Bryan bathed Charlie when he got home.  So.. goodbye, flea treatment.

So last night, after Book Club (which was way too much fun, ladies.. I like feeling like I’m smarter than those NOT in the club), I wandered over to Bryan’s (after two glasses of wine) and sprawled out on the couch with Charlie at my feet.  Bryan was doing manly stuff like dishes and laundry, and I was good and buzzed, so we stayed that way for awhile.  I woke up this morning, and legs from toes to knees are EAT UP with bites.  FLEA BITES.

Argh.  I feel like there’s things crawling on me. (There aren’t.  But as anyone who KNOWS me will tell you, skin irritations are one of the few things that REALLY get to me.)

Old men should not wear sleeveless shirts to work.  Period.

I cannot wait for the weekend.  Why, you may ask?  Because that’s two days without work.  I have been having the most vivid, horrible dreams lately.  They usually involve a baby (I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I’M DREAMING ABOUT BABIES), and me being chased and persecuted.  And then annoyed.  And I usually end up chucking the baby at whomever is persecuting me.

Again, picture of maternal instinct, right here.

 

7:25 am