So last week (or this week? maybe?) Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo, made major ripples in the professional world when she released a company-wide memo to all Yahoo employees that reversed their previous position on working from home. (For the sake of words, I’ll probably only refer to it as “working virtually” through the remainder of this. It just means you’re working ANYWHERE – home, coffee shop, internet cafe – outside of an office which is paid for by your company.)

This was a shock to many, for a couple of reasons that I could surmise: 1) Yahoo had been very progressive on their virtual office policy, which lent credibility to the process that the rest of industry could follow, and 2) Marissa Mayer is a mom to a young baby. (She was named CEO while pregnant with said baby.)

I’ve read plenty of discussion on both sides of the fence, but I have to say: I feel like this is a huge step backward. Here’s why.

There’s already such a stigma on “working from home”. I am INCREDIBLY fortunate to have an employer (and a manager) who supports working virtually when necessary. Sick kids, having work done on the house, doctor’s appointments.. you just give notice in advance and you can work from home (or cafe or wherever there’s a secure network). But for some reason, and I know this because I’ve heard it with my own two angry ears, it’s considered “slacking”.

Now, look. “Insiders” at Yahoo claim that the virtual office policy has been abused by many employees over the years, and they say that it’s time for a revamp. I’m not saying EVERYONE is productive outside of the office. I personally know folks who catch up on the DVR, run personal errands all day, get their hair done, all under the guise of “working virtually”. But there are some of us – myself included – who are almost MORE productive outside of the office. I have uninterrupted time to work, and I can accomplish worlds more tasks in one day a week of working virtually than I’ll struggle to do in the other four days.

Reversing this policy is basically confirming that everyone who works virtually is non-productive, and that’s just simply not true.

This places an unnecessary divide on working parents and workers with no kids. Before I had kids, I had the coworkers who would leave every day at 2:00 p.m. to pick up kids, while throwing the rest of their work at me to finish. Hell, I have kids NOW and I still see this happen. And I’ll be honest – there are a lot of times that these people do this and it feels like a cop-out.

At the same time, your responsibility doubles (or triples or quadruples) when you have children. You not only have to schedule time for YOUR doctor’s appointments, but your kids need that time too. Working ten to twelve hour days five days a week.. just doesn’t work. (Trust me. I know this.) So you need a little flexibility. You just do.

So now there is the divide: how do you not breed bitterness?

You cannot assume that all workers fit any one model.

Some workers, sadly, are going to be inefficient no matter where you place them. I have spent many years – and not just professionally, but in other arenas as well – trying to fight the idea that working longer doesn’t necessarily mean working harder or smarter. Putting in a 12 hour day, for example, doesn’t mean you got ANYTHING done. Oh, you rehearsed until 2 in the morning? Then it’s perfect, right? (The only reasonable answer is YES.)

I know folks who religiously show up, five days a week, in the office and put in eight or nine hour days. They spend those hours at the coffee pot, flitting from office to office, and visiting everyone within ear shot. So everyone sees them, and you know that they’re there every single day.

But if you were to look at the products coming out, and where the actual sausage is being made, and you realize that they do little to nothing. (Except gather a paycheck.)

Now, that worker? Is not going to be efficient working virtually. But they’re not going to be efficient in an office, either. And to say that NO ONE can work virtually puts a lot of strain on people who 1) can utilize their time efficiently working virtually AND 2) need the flexibility from time to time. Also, your ability/need to work in a flexible situation will change as your life/needs change. Why box anyone in?

So there’s my thoughts. (Don’t even get me started on Ms. Mayer then having a nursery built into her office, because that BOTHERS ME MOST OF ALL.) What was your take?

We were driving to dinner late one night this week and we began the usual round of Well, how was YOUR day today? and the kids (as always) had good days while Bryan and I just shook our heads with dead eyes when asked about our days. After the round concluded, Tony said, “You know what, Momma? I hated my day today.”

We’re pretty sensitive about the use of the word hate in my house, so I was startled by his choice of words. “You did? What happened?”

“All that work I have to do, Momma,” he sighed, clearly exasperated. “I just HATE all that work.”

(.. he’s four.)

Bryan and I looked at eachother, knowing that he was parroting us. Or, rather, he was parroting what our body language and heavy sighs tend to relay.

So I had to correct him.

“You know what, buddy? Daddy and I love our jobs. We both do something we really, really love, so even when it’s really hard work, it’s not terrible. We never hate our jobs. We never hate the work.”

And while, yes, obviously I was saying this to make him understand that it’s not all gloom and doom, the more I ruminated on it, the more I realized that I actually meant it.

Bryan’s office has been in a constant state of flux since they’ve been undergoing an acquisition since May. The majority of his office has relocated two hours north to Nashville, leaving a small crew behind here. Understandably, it’s been a stressful and often overwhelming experience, but dude? What an opportunity to grow, you know? It’s a chance to find out what you’re made of, and even better, what you can stand and how resilient you really can be.

Although my job doesn’t have the additional stress of new management, the last two weeks have been a great example of how dynamic my job is too. I love the challenge (.. mostly), and I genuinely like the people I work with. I’ve waxed poetic many times about my love of engineers, and my engineers are downright funny. (Funny goes a long way with me.) So although I’ve worked 12+ hours every day this week (and am WOEFULLY behind in schoolwork as a result), I never go home hating my job. Never.

Every job requires that you be stretched thin occasionally. I think the trick is finding the enjoyment in the stretch. You know, there’s that really good stretch: the one right after a massage, or the one yoga position that finally releases that cramp you’ve had for days. It’s learning where that happens and aiming for that.

(And throwing up the white flag before you hurt yourself.)

If you were to ask me what the biggest challenge about school has been thus far, I’d say immature online platforms but if you dig further, I’d say: it forces me to take time for me.

Until I had to do this, until I had something that could not be done simultaneously, I never realized how hard it is for me to carve out time for me.

I always thought, “Oh, well, I run! That’s Me-Time!” Yeeaaaah.. okay, I got up early, before anyone was even awake, to run. Most times, I returned home before anyone was awake. That’s.. not really taking time for me. That’s using my own time in a different way.

But I don’t have that luxury any more. (Well, I mean, I haven’t run in weeks. I’m working a new gig at work that has me there by 6:30 a.m. three mornings a week and..) If I get up early, it’s around 4:30 a.m., so I can have dinner prepped (and cooking, in some cases) before I leave, and I leave before anyone else is awake.

Um, I think I need not explain how useless it is to try and get any schoolwork done in the afternoons. Rush to daycare before they close, hurry home, throw a snack at Tony, feed the many many animals, get dinner finished up, plate everyone.. yeah, it’s useless.

So evenings, then, right?

I try to wait until Tony is in bed, so that I’m not depriving him of parental time. But he usually hits the sack around 8:30 p.m. .. the first time. Then he’s up until 9:00, sometimes 9:15, trying to stall having to go to sleep.

Then he’s finally asleep. I could stay up and get some work done, but .. honestly, by 9:45, I am struggling to stay awake. And I need some time to unwind with my husband. It’s how I clear my head at the end of the day.

So the latest I can stay up is 10:30 p.m., but 1) I am not at my best by that point and 2) it kills me the next morning when the alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m. Rinse and repeat, five times over.

All of this is to say that I’m having to ask for help, and man oh man, am I bad at that.

My parents graciously offered to take Tony on Friday night, which was AWESOME, and just what I needed. Bryan and I went and had an adult dinner (one without chicken fingers on the menu), and then we came home and chilled out in front of a movie. Then I hopped online and studied before taking a quiz.

WOO HOO, PARTAAAAY! But I needed that. I needed time that I didn’t feel was taking me away from someone else.

Sunday, Bryan took Tony swimming. For two hours. It was AMAZING. I worked for about an hour, and then caught up on my school planning for the week while running laundry circles.

These things feel downright luxurious when they happen, which .. which makes me think I am too hard on myself. I should ask for help when I need it. I should utilize my resources around me. I should share the joy that is The Boys. Also, Bryan is an AMAZING dad to his boys. I should let him do that.

I should not keep putting off Girls’ Nights Out because I feel guilty. Or hell, I should read a book that’s not a college requirement because I want to. While in the room with other people. I should not check my phone during my hair appointment; I schedule it midday so I have plenty of time to get Tony and no one should have a fire alarm while I’m there.

I should take time to do my homework and know that the world will not crumble around me if I do.

I should.

(.. I probably won’t.)