So last weekend was kind of a tripping point for me. If you watch Intervention, they call it rock bottom; if you’re a Hoarders fan, it was my “feel it so you can heal it” point.

First of all: this is probably ALL going to come across as whining. I hate having to caveat things like MY FEELINGS before I type them, but yes, I know there are people who are SO ENVIOUS that I have the first world problems I do. I KNOW THAT. You know what? Doesn’t make the problems any less real, or my feelings any less valid.

(I always, always, always think of Temerity Jane, who told me this story at the 2011 Blathering.. she had written a post about being miserably sick while living in Washington D.C., just horrifically, terribly ill. I think it was a kidney infection on top of a stomach flu or something horrendous. She pulled over on the way to work and vomited on the side of the road or something and in the process, peed in her pants. When writing this post, someone actually commented, I don’t even HAVE kidneys, so I’d LOVE the opportunity to just pee in my pants! or something of that nature. I think of that kidney-less lady ALL THE TIME.)

Last week was a really, really hard week at work. And I’m coming to realize more and more often that when I say, Man, that was a hard week, people think that maybe I had one rough thing. No, more often than not, it means that I was at work by 6:30 a.m. and left around 6:00 p.m. (or later) and crossed NOTHING off my to-do list in the process. And a lot of my list was stuff that was time sensitive – school work, exams, work projects with deadlines, etc. So by Friday – which ended up being another 12 hour day – I was toast. And still had THREE exams ahead of me.

I looked at Bryan and I felt the tears well up. I can’t do this all, I said. I just can’t. I have too much.

He nodded, hushed the boys, and took them out to dinner to give me an hour’s peace.

I sat down at my computer and decided: I need to drop a class.

So I went to the page to do that, and you know what? It turns out you can unenroll! With one click! And that click seems to be non-reversible! As I found out in sheer panic when I didn’t mean to SELECT THAT. So, there. I spent about an hour freaking out, realized there was nothing more I could do at 7:00 pm on a Friday night, and was asleep when the boys got home.

… this last weekend? Was the most RELAXING weekend I’ve had in a year.

So while I’m still reversing my unenrollment, I have realized that maybe taking 13 hours of courses a semester WHILE working full-time is not the smartest way to do this. And while, yes, obviously, I’d like to get done as soon as possible, I’d also like to not cry all the time and lose sleep over missed deadlines.

(Also, I need to find a program that caters to REAL ADULTS who have REAL JOBS. One day, I’ll tell you the stories.)

So I’m down to two classes. Two manageable classes, in classes that I’m really honestly interested in. And I feel like a freakin’ weight is off of my shoulders.

Because sometimes, you’re Superwoman. Sometimes, you’re just a crazy woman in a cape.

(Learning to tell the difference is the challenge!)

As I was embarking on a wild goose chase today, sent on a fire-alarm errand that was completely unnecessary and took time away from my already insane day, I did something I NEVER do: I called my husband.

See, I know that a lot of married couples stay in touch during the work day. Bully to y’all. Bryan and I don’t. Our daytime correspondence is usually limited to a forwarded email (usually from a teacher concerning a certain 12 year old) and/or a text message to make sure SOMEONE has time to pick up Tony from daycare. Seriously, that’s it.

It’s not that I don’t love him, or that he loves me, because we do. But we are BUSY AS HELL.

Therefore, when the phone rings and one of us pops up on the caller ID? The world stops spinning.

As I was unloading on this poor soul who chose to marry me (and subsequently poisoned me with his sperm)(twice), I realized that I don’t do this often. Often, instead, I write.

And I hadn’t. In a long time.

And suddenly, I realized that I was missing my outlet. While I was trying to schedule down to the quarter hour, I put in no time for me. And it was making me a VERY UNFORTUNATE PERSON TO BE AROUND.

So, hey, y’all! How’re you doing? What’s new with you?

I thought I’d share with you the master combo to fighting itchy, dry, winter-pregnancy skin. As many of you know, pregnancy skin is pretty dreadful. Especially around the parts of you that are expanding. Add to that the dry, cold air of winter, and I was pretty much an indecent person, scratching myself in all sorts of inappropriate places in the middle of meetings. Finally, I gave up hoping that it would warm before spring, and I found this combo.

Dove’s Deep Moisture Body Wash is truly amazing. I didn’t think a body wash could be so essential in the dry, itchy skin department, but it has made a night-and-day difference. It’s incredibly creamy, but still lathers really well. And then minute you rinse it off? Your skin feels supple and moisturized. Even still in the shower. IT IS AMAZING. (Also, it’s a drugstore buy! You cannot beat that.)

I wandered into an Ulta some weeks back because I had a gift card to use, and there was a saleswoman on hand for the DermaDoctor line who struck up a conversation about my (very) pregnant belly. I had been eying Bliss Body Butter, but she asked me to try a sample of DermaDoctor’s KP Duty, which was initially created to help alleviate keratosis pilaris, which we might call “chicken skin”, commonly found on the back of your upper arms. (I have this most of the time, but it’s disappeared with pregnancy.) Y’ALL. This lotion. It’s pretty amazing. I use it from neck to hips, every time I step out of the shower, and it keeps me TOTALLY moisturized. I have not scratched myself inappropriately since I found this.

(But I feel like I may  have set the bar too high now, so Disclaimer: I may still scratch myself inappropriately in public, but it has nothing to do with dry skin.)

I have thought many times that I’m already prepared for a newborn because it’s been since July that I’ve gotten any consistent sleep over consecutive nights. (I thought this even just this morning, as I drug my weary carcass into work.)

The problem initially was that Bryan is a snorer. He actually has pretty moderate-to-severe sleep apnea, which I think is worse than just run of the mill snoring; a constant noise is easy to drown out, but the illogical silence and sudden gasping for breath would rouse anyone. Seriously, they should try it on coma patients.

So we’d take turns: one night I’d sleep on our couch, the next night I got the bed while Bryan took the couch. And while two or three nights a week of sleep was good, it was taking a toll on our marriage.

(Also, it turns out, it was taking a toll on my hips.)

Yes, Bryan’s tried the CPAP – both the full mask and just the nose – and they don’t work for him. Next up is surgery, but man, we were looking for anyway to avoid surgery. That’s scary crap!

So we agreed on a king-sized bed. I argued that we’ve slept in hotel rooms just fine, and maybe the extra real estate between us would allow the sound to dissipate. I don’t know. It was me, grasping at straws. We went to Sams and tried out some mattresses, but weren’t really wowed by anything. We tried a couple of mattress stores and we weren’t blown over. So we went to a SleepNumber store.

SleepNumber starts by analyzing your body and how it distributes weight. I know it’s SHOCKING, but all of my stress is squarely in my hips! (Bryan didn’t have an obvious stress point.) So we began to try out the different models and found one in the middle range that was simply HEAVEN. It wasn’t the top of the line, memory foam SleepNumber bed, but it wasn’t the bottom rung basic model, either. It was a pillowtop with an adjustable base.

(We are now basically the old people from the Craft-o-Matic Adjustable Bed commercials now.)

It was delivered sooner than expected (YAY!), along with the fancy pillows and fancy nano-technology-infused sheets we also purchased. It’s now been almost two full months in the bed, so here’s my review.

The Pillows: As you may recall, I had recently purchased a pillow from Brookstone that I was in love with. Bryan had a MyPillow that he was less thrilled with. So we both decided on a new pillow (we needed king-sized pillows anyway). Mine was a memory foam for side or stomach sleepers; his has an air-intake valve for varying firmness. We’re both kind of “meh” about the pillows. To be honest, my Brookstone pillow was more comfortable, but this isn’t unbearable by any means. Bryan likes his new one more than his MyPillow, but that’s because he hated that MyPillow. Hated it.

The Sheets: DO NOT BE SUCKERED IN AS WE WERE. They sold us on some nano-technology within these sheets, that supposedly regulate your body temperature by absorbing the heat and redistributing it and keeping you cool. The first two nights, we both woke up SOAKED in sweat. (And I’m the always-cold pregnant lady!) The sheets feel extremely cheap – rough and scratchy, no matter how many washings – and the sheets cannot be returned. So do what we did – go buy some cheap sheets at Target or WalMart and make do. We sleep WAY better in normal sheets. Nano-Technology is not for us.

The Bed: All in all, we’re happy. It has not been a magic, life-altering experience, but perhaps we set our expectations a little high. I adore the adjustable base.. when heartburn kicks up, I can reach over with one hand and increase my incline without even really waking up. On days when my feet swell, I can put them up with the touch of a button. I really love that. As for the actual SleepNumber technology? Bryan and I were surprised to find out that our ideal numbers were actually exactly the same. So we probably just could’ve found a mattress to that specification and stuck it on an adjustable base. Sidenote: Tony, however, loves it. It’s his favorite thing in the world to randomly set one side to ZERO and then pretending he did nothing, leaving us to fall into a practically empty air mattress.

If we had it to do over again, we might have still gone with the same model bed and skipped the sheets and pillows – which, honestly, would’ve saved us a HUGE chunk of change. But the bed itself has been lovely, and I can only imagine as I get further in this pregnancy that the adjustable features will become more coveted.

These opinions are my own and we have not been compensated for any portion of this review. Trust me. Because, DAYUM, this stuff is costly.

2011, 2010, 2009, 2008

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before? I joined a running group. I know how silly that sounds, but it was something that scared me TO DEATH. I joined a 5K training group with other people – some of whom were, like, RUNNERS – and I stuck with the program until I graduated in May. And then I did another one. I made a group of friends that I would meet a few mornings a week and we’d get all sweaty while we ran and talked about life. I miss it so much that I’m tearing up typing this. I was so proud of me. Still am. Can’t wait to get back.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year, I made a To-Do list for the year, which meant it wasn’t something I had to keep up with on a day-to-day basis, and that worked a LOT better for me. I crossed off more than half, and the other half kind of got hampered by the surprise pregnancy. I think it was a pretty productive year, and I’ll do the same for next year, most likely.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? It was a busy year for babies!  Lots of my internet ladies gave birth this year.  Lots of chubby baby cheeks for me to drool over.

4. Did anyone close to you die? We had a fortunate year this year and didn’t lose anyone.

5. What countries did you visit? Like I travel. HA.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012? A little more room to grow. I had to take this insanely stupid “Adjustment to Student Life” course last semester, but one thing that I learned is that you have to schedule in wiggle room. It kind of struck me sideways because I NEVER do that. I don’t schedule room to fail.. or to grow. I’d like to allow myself a little room to grow in the next year. I’m really, really hard on myself, and I need to relax from time to time and remember that no one is perfect the first time through.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The Color Run in Atlanta was a great family memory for us, even though we had a lot of emotional swirl happening at the time. Bryan, Tony, and I took a lot of overnight adventures as our schedule would allow, and those were all a lot of fun. Gee and Dude had a gorgeous ceremony in August and FINALLY stopped living in sin. October 3rd, I woke up and took a pregnancy test.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I had several, actually. On the work front, I was recognized as someone who was accruing cost savings for our contract due to my hard work and cat-herding skills, and that’s one of the places I need to allow myself room to grow in the coming year. I also got back in school – another massive anxiety-ridden fear of mine – and got all As my first semester. I love the look on people’s faces when they see me at work until 7 p.m. and then hear that I’m also in school full-time.

9. What was your biggest failure? Remember my great cat-herding skills? Man, they are STELLAR. Like, not even kidding – they are the stuff of legend. However, they consume pretty much every single iota of patience that resides within my body. So when I get home, I am tired of herding cats and just want everything to happen seamlessly. As a result, I have often failed with patience at home. Specifically in my role as a stepparent – I’ve had to just wave the white flag and say that if my opinion isn’t valued, please don’t involve me further. And that sucks, but damn if I don’t hate running my head into a brick wall. Repeatedly.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Actually, even though I started running 6-10 miles a week through most of the year, I was pretty injury free. Until I got knocked up, that is. My hips and tailbone seem to be in cahoots to ruin my life.

11. What was the best thing you bought? This sounds so ridiculous, but we bought two things that we literally gush over all the time: the Shark Vacuum and the Haan Steam Mop. Those two things have seriously changed our house. Yes, I may have OCD tendencies, but even those who don’t would love these two appliances. Seriously. I swear by them. We use the vacuum at least twice a week and the steamer twice a month and they still behave as if they were new out of the box.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine. Look, most years, I really do try and find someone who has earned this recognition and I try and praise them and say how awesome they are, but y’all. It was a ROUGH year. If nothing else, I was kind of a saint during a trying election year (you try being the only democrat in your office)(and by democrat, I mean non-republican), a rough football season (I’M SORRY THE SEC IS SO MUCH BETTER, GUYS), and a season of gun control politics.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I’ve watched 2012 become a very divisive year for folks. Even really good friends – sometimes even family – have taken very black and white stances on issues where there simple is none. I don’t understand why we can’t all acknowledge the very valid shades of gray, you know? (Also, I HATE THAT THE STUPID TRILOGY HAS TAKEN THE PHRASE AWAY.)

14. Where did most of your money go? “Mortgage and daycare.  Daycare is such a rapist.” – 2009.  “SURPRISE, 2010 WAS THE SAME!” – 2010.   “SAME HERE” – 2011. Surprisingly – we paid off a LOT of bills this year. Looming unemployment will do that to a person.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? You know? More than anything else, I got excited about our night-away adventures. I loved EVERY minute of those. Just being on the road with our little family, and not knowing where we might wind up? I loved that. (And now I’m all sad because we won’t have that luxury for another five years or so.)

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?“Being Alive” from Sondheim’s “Company”. Jenni was in a local production of it, and that song.. man, that song. It will always just wreck me to the core and then rebuild me before it’s over. (Miss you, Shoo-ah.)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter? (I’m .. pregnant..er?)
c) richer or poorer?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Community involvement. I’ve just recently started getting heavily engaged with our community in various ways, and man, is that just some soul-feeding stuff. I am LOVING it, and wondering why I’ve waited this long to get started. (So let me be your nudge – go see where you can help YOUR community!)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Providing fish. Lemme ‘splain. My one mantra at work is that I aim to teach the men to fish. It’s become pretty painfully obvious over the last month or so that, instead, I’ve been gutting, scaling, and filleting the damn thing for them. I need to get back to my roots of teaching people how to be productive on their own .. especially knowing that I will be taking a two-month hiatus mid-2013.

20. How did you spend Christmas? The last two years, I’ve answered this question huffing about custody issues, but this year, that was not the case and it was SO WONDERFUL. We had a RELAXING Christmas, with very little time spent in a car. We woke up and did Christmas at our house until noon, when Bryan went to retrieve Jack, and then we headed over for Christmas dinner at my parents’ house. It was perfect.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011? Every year, man.

22. What was your favorite TV program? While I answered this question in 2011 with Real Housewives of Wherever, I have not watched a SINGLE episode of that this year. My time has really become so precious that I can’t stand watching overprivileged women catfighting about petty crap. This year, it’s been mostly light-hearted comedies - Modern Family, The Office, Parks & Rec mostly fill our DVR. We have also LOVED Shark Tank, and I get irrationally excited when someone says they watch that show too because we treat it like a gameshow in our house. You know how you can watch three episodes of Top Chef and suddenly feel like you can tackle fois gras? Yeah, we are AMAZING investors.

23. This question has been deleted (2010). 

24. What was the best book you read? I read so little this year, it’s pathetic. So I did read one book that I loved: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I have most of his other books on my Kindle, and I’m about halfway through The Unidentified Redhead and then I should probably get around to Gone Girl since everyone talks about it. When I’m in school, any time I have to read is usually dedicated to scholarly pursuits.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I am so stoked that folk is kind of back. Mumford & Sons own me (Dude and I often getting into a shouting match about the Avett Brothers and Mumford & Sons and who is better, but my money is squarely on the sons.) Also I discovered Grace Potter (not that she’s new to anyone else but me because I’m slow).

26. What did you want and get? I got a gorgeous wedding ring, which is gorgeous because 1) we could afford it and 2) I can wear it without it turning my finger colors. (Metal allergies are such a pain.) I really do find myself staring at it all the time, because I love it so.

27. What did you want and not get? Actually.. nothing is coming to mind.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Although I really liked The Hunger Games  and Skyfall, I have to be lame and say Rise of the Guardians. I love movies that I can take the whole family to and we all get something out of it. The story was just so well-crafted and complex and beautiful and Alec Baldwin! With that accent! So good! I also cried – a lot, actually – but it was happy tears about how magical the world really can be.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? This year was number 32 for me, and I spent it in Birmingham with my husband and then everyone else met us down there for an afternoon of shopping and eating. I really, really loved it. They have a Chuy’s there, you know.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? “A 25th hour in the day.” – 2008.  “Ditto.” – 2009.  “Hells yes, gimme some of that.” – 2010. “WHERE IS MY HOUR, FATE?” – 2011. 2012: Better use of the hours I have.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Layers, houndstooth, jewel tones, and then, for the 4Q of the year, elasticized anything.

32. What kept you sane? Another silly answer, but: my Erin Condren planner. It was something I splurged on in late 2011 and it became my bible. If I didn’t have it on me, I was lost. I love that damn thing.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Joss Whedon. I mean, I’ve been a long-time fan (who hasn’t, right?), but this year I’ve really come to appreciate his talent to turn whatever he touches into gold. The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, even a short about the zombie apocalypse.. they’re all killer. He is just SO good at what he does. Also, this quote, when asked why he writes such strong, female characters as his leads: “Because you’re still asking me that question.”

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Oh, all of them. Still. As we progress, day by day, toward the fiscal cliff, I’m just more and more disenchanted by our elected officials. Why do we elect such out-of-touch folks into office?

35. Who did you miss? It sounds silly, but my grandmother. She passed away in April of 2010, but I .. I know she’s with me a lot.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I’ve had a pleasant year of meeting lots of GREAT new folks. Seriously, I’ve met some really fantastic people, specifically within my young professional circles I’ve joined recently and the running groups I joined earlier this year. I doubt I could narrow it down, but I could sum it up by saying that I’ve met a ton of new people that make my cheeks hurt when I leave them from smiling and laughing so much.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012. It is a very true statement that when we ask for something (through prayer, self-meditation, The Secret, what have you), we are not handed what we’ve asked for in a pretty, wrapped package. We’re often granted the opportunity to pursue it, and that opportunity will look difficult and muddy. But it’s what we asked for. We just have to earn it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“Have I mentioned today
how lucky I am
to be in love
with you?”

The Schmuel Song, “The Last 5 Years” – Jason Robert Brown