I am beginning to think that, as I near 30, I am not as optimistically resillient as I once was.  I hate this.

Last night, as I finagled Bryan into stopping for a milkshake (I don’t think he bought the whole “OHMYGOD, I forgot there was a Ben & Jerry’s here!  Since we’re here.. we should totally get a milkshake” routine), I teased him about the fact that I’ve cooked, like, eighty meals in the last week.  I didn’t think I pushed too hard with it, but he looked at me, completely serious, and said, “You’re being very hateful tonight.”

And at the time, I laughed it off, because I didn’t feel like I was being hateful.  I felt like I was just teasing.  Hardball teasing, but teasing nonetheless.  I think I went so far as to call him a pussy-girlie-girl (which, I’m sure, did worlds of good for alleviating the “hateful” vibe I was putting out). 

However, this morning, I was sitting in a training class.  I normally don’t mind these necessary evils, and always make a point of meeting everyone in the room.  But today, I sat in a corner by myself.  Someone looked my way (turns out they were trying to read my badge for the attendance list) and .. ready?.. I snapped at them.  Me.  Snapped.  Then, on the way out, I held the door for the lady behind me (several times) without even saying “You’re welcome” when she thanked me.  Me.  Miss Etiquette.

Later, a coworker was walking right beside me for a good ten yards without me even acknowledging him.  He asked me a question (I suppose just to get my attention), and I turned around and answered him with facts, then turned and kept walking.

Who AM I?  Why am letting stupid stuff do this to me?

I don’t like being this short-tempered and evil person.  And yes, even though I have some serious stress in my life, there is no excuse valid enough for me to treat people that way.  I am not like that.  It’s pissing me off.

I need to get away this weekend.  Before I kill someone.