“Don’t recite to me other people’s opinions..
Tell me what you know.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote today was brought to me by a man who ripped a page out of his Day-Runner and this was at the top of it.  It just seemed to fateful to not pass on to my dear readers.

I have been on-edge all week.  It’s been horrible.  And I know I’ve BEEN horrible.  I feel like I’ve been on the defensive every moment of every day, and I just don’t do well with that.  I make a point to live my life honestly, even if it sucks at times, so being defensive doesn’t really fit. 

It all came to a head last night, when I had our fateful meeting with the caterer.  For those who don’t know the disaster that was THE FOOD at our wedding, suffice it to say, we were less than pleased.  I’ve debated naming the caterer here, in my efforts to deter people from having the same issue, but I think filing a formal report with the Better Business Bureau is the correct and proper form of action.  ANYWAY, to say we were less than pleased is quite the understatement.  And rather than call after the event and ask how we thought it went, our caterer had the audacity to call and confront my mother about squaring up the bill.

Which set me on my path of total annihilation of this woman and her business.

My mother is out of town on assignment, so my father and I asked for time to meet with the caterer to discuss our concerns with the second itemized list she sent as a bill.. totaling almost another grand on top of what we had already paid upfront.  I had gathered my own grievances, as well as those supplied by a random sampling of guests, and compiled what I wanted to say.

I arrived at the business before my father.  She tried to hand me a bunch of receipts, and I told her, “No, we need to wait for my father.”  She, again, tried to coax me to just take the receipts and go, and I smiled my most icy smile and said, “No, I strongly suggest you wait for him.. he’s the nice one.”  She backed off.

See, I always wanted to be a lawyer.  But I never had the time or money for law school, so instead, I always wanted to be on Judge Judy/Joe Brown/Alex/Mathis.  When I started stressing out about this meeting, I convinced myself it was an audition to be a lawyer.  And man, did I ace that audition.

Some highlights: she started to cry.  She ripped up the final bill and threw it at us.  She pointed to the bottles of wine she was charging us for and said, “See?  There they are.”  She threw out accusations that we immediately refused with physical evidence.  We smiled at her while she squirmed.  We sat in silence until she came down.  I, at one point, got to use the phrase, “Madam, you provided us with nothing worth our money.”  Yes, I said “madam.”  (It was awesome.)  I pulled out my list of supplied grievances (which I had bloated with non-related print-outs from work, so they seemed much more substantial than they were) and flipped through them.  And my favorite part?  Kari called in the middle of the meeting.  I glanced down at my phone and said, “Oh, it’s my lawyer.  I’ll call him back.” and rejected the call.

And, perhaps the icing on my Sarah-is-Fabulous cake, by the end of the meeting, I had her laughing.  By the time we left, she invited us back for lunch.  She was kidding around with me and offering me the recipe for her mojitos.  How many lawyers do you know that can do that?  C’est moi.

Unfortunately, I came home in that same “attack and dismember” mentality.  When I walked into the bedroom and mentioned that there was a peculiar smell, Bryan suggested that I “could try doing some laundry.”  He did not mean it that way, but he was simple enough to repeat it when I asked him what he said, so I launched into a feminist rage of Friedanian proportions.  Then I realized how much I overreacted.  God love him for putting up with hormonal swings.

On a final note, the quote for today by Mr. Emerson up there has particular significance to me because of a recent debate that was spawned over abortion rights.  I would like to say that it is my greatest hope that I never be construed as “attacking” anyone when I merely speak my mind, be it on abortion or other issues.  I have my own stances, of which I have come to through experience and not just faith, so I feel competent on speaking about them.  I strive to never push the other side, one way or the other, because I hope for that same respect.  And, most times, it is returned.

Thank you for your level-headedness, Lyndsay.  It’s what makes people listen.

Have a great Friday, everyone!