Well.. so.  Okay then. 

Last you heard, my stomach was causing me pain.  This escalated well into the evening, but luckily, I was on my own and could be as unladylike as I cared to be.  Soon, I was empty and the pain had lessened, so I took a hot bath to relax.  I smelled really good.

Then I put some lotion on.  I felt really good.

And I thought, I should share some of this goodness with Bryan.

I knew the Boy was going home to the green around eight, so when Bryan sent me a text message to let me know that he was in for the night, I went to work.  Man, I put together a KILLER outfit.. thigh-high, black leather stiletto boots.. strapless push-up bra.. lace-up corset.. and a just-a-bit-too-teeny business suit over it.  Donned my "bedroom eyes" make-up, did my hair, and was ready to go.

So was Charlie.

Now, it should be said that I’m actually fairly mobile in stilettos, having spent a good deal of time in them in my younger days.  I am NOT mobile in stilettos in the dark.  In people’s yards.  So when Charlie took off out the front door, Sarah was left to wander around the neighborhood for a good twenty minutes, in the outfit described above, like a hooker who’s lost her John.  And my John was obviously named "Charlie".

A few neighbors stuck their heads out the door, because Charlie does this from time to time, and they know that he’ll come to strangers who pose no (obvious) threat of returning him home.  However, once they took one look at Mistress Sarah, they didn’t care so much to help.  The comfort (and view) of their street-facing windows sufficed.

I finally got that bastard of a dog home, tail wagging and everything (Mistress Sarah does an amazing job), and sat in my car, trying to make the sweat and shivering stop.  My feet hurt.  My thighs hurt.  And I had not even left my own house.

Fast forward to an hour later, on Bryan’s couch: "God, Sarah, you worked up a bit of a sweat there."

He had NO clue.