I swear that this conversation happened.  I could not get to a computer fast enough to get it logged in and recorded, because it just confirms a lot of what I already believed.. I am, in fact, God.

Me: Well, my work here is done.

Passing Engineer (who shall, from hereon, be known as PE): Heh.  That sounds so terminal.

Me: Thank you, my son.  Yes, terminal it is.  I should just go home.  I am finished here.

PE: Why?

Me: I’m supposed to rest every seventh day.  It’s written somewhere.

PE: Okay, so you’ve created this perfect universe.  Good for you.  But you made a mistake.. you had that hurricane hit New Orleans.

Me: Ah, young one, it just seems like a mistake TODAY.  Give me a year.  You’ll understand then.

PE: What about Rita?

Me: Rita is for people to learn from their mistakes.  It’s about growth.

PE: But they lost close to a thousand people in New Orleans!  What about that?

Me: Sometimes, things like that HAVE to happen.  They’re in a better place.  In fact, I’m late for the big Mardi Gras in the sky as we speak.. hurricanes and jazz for everyone!

PE: So why do things like that HAVE to happen?

Me: I could tell you, but your brain would implode.  You’d melt here, right on this sidewalk.

PE: Well, I feel better having met you.  Thanks for chatting with me.

Me: My pleasure, Dave. (At this point, I really freaked him out.  We had never met.. how would I know his name?  To the untrained eye, I could see how this would be disconcerting.  But to anyone who is a non-engineer.. they’d have also noticed he wears a nametag.)

PE: Oh.  I.. okay.  Yeah, my pleasure, too.

PE: Wait!  Look.. this sounds silly.. but.. I have to ask.  I’m supposed to fly to DC today.. am I gonna make it safely?

Me (feeling bad, because I have clearly used my powers for evil): Yeah, Dave.  You’re gonna be fine.  Today is not your day to die.

Me (over my shoulder): But don’t fly next Wednesday!