To be sung like Madeline Kahn.  She was an idol of mine growing up.  SOOOO damn funny, and so gorgeous, and sexy, and fantastic in every way. 

Some Things I’m Tired Of, by Sarah Brown

1.  People who can’t take a compliment.  I’m guilty of this.  When someone tells me I look nice, I immediately think that I actually look TERRIBLE and they’re trying to overcompensate out of pity for my terrible state.  Which is why when Bryan says he likes my “insert feature here”, I immediately check my nose to make sure there’s not a booger hanging out or I check my teeth to make sure there’s no parsley in there.  But I will say that when you receive a compliment, especially from someone who obviously had to FORCE themselves to make one, you should NOT be trite and petty about it.

2.  People who exaggerate.  It’s been a long year.  Bryan and I laid in bed last night, looking at the Christmas lights, and trying to figure out how far we’d come.  We went over where he THOUGHT he’d be at this point (still at TLS, single, etc), and where he is now.  He looked at me and said, “Wow, you’ve had a big year.”  And it has been big.  But I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ve been transformed.  It’s just change.  And I’ve been called some terrible, awful things during that year, but I’m not gonna say that I’m still being called those things.  It’s amazing; the world moves.  And it also moves on.

3.  People who can’t take a note.  UGH, this drives me bonkers.  I will be the first to say that some of the blocking in my Christmas show goes against every part of my body.  And I asked the director privately if he was SURE that’s what he wanted.  He said yes, so I do it with gusto at every opportunity.  But when you’re given a note by the director, why would you argue?  You can’t see the big picture.  It’s not YOUR JOB to see the picture, it’s YOUR JOB to do what you’re told.  And that also goes with music directors, choreographers, etc.. just take the note and say “Thank you”.  Think that sounds stupid?  It’s one of the things Bryan first noticed about me.

4.  McDonald’s Advertising.  JesusGod, what a stupid campaign.  This, from the company who developed that very catchy BigMac song that listed all of the ingredients (that half of the children raised in the 80s can recite on command, and not nearly half as many could recite the states of America).  We went from the very racially slanted, animated fruit and walnut salad commercials, to those damn pinky-raising commercials for the chicken select, and now the mentally-devoid “I’m Lovin It” line.  Well, guess what?  I’M NOT.

5.  Restaurant Scorecard.  Okay.  We get it.  There are some places that are dirtier than others.  But MUST we make an expose out of everything?  So Taco Bell had a drainage issue.  The city of Huntsville has them, too.  And let’s be honest.. don’t you KNOW that you’re taking your life in your hands when you eat at Taco Bell, anyway?  Isn’t that part of the appeal?  My favorite part of these “exclusives” is that they’re always a non issue.  “We brought our findings to an expert, who assured us there was no risk or news story at all.”  Well, I’m glad you wasted five minutes of my life by informing me of the non-dangers of the contents of restaurant booster seats while you COULD be showing me the horrors overseas.

6.  Meaningless lists.  Yep.  Hate ‘em.

Have a LOVERLY day.