There was no Christmas spirit last night. None. Everyone was agitated, tired, disgruntled, and more than ready to not have to be there any longer. Humbug and all that jazz.
I, in particular, was in a SOUR mood. It had been an EXTREMELY stressful day. The stress of planning a wedding, of financial reviews at work, of trying to make time for everything and all shows (and did I mention planning a wedding?) has overwhelmed me. Don’t even ASK me about how ready my house is for Bryan to move in: it’s not.
I wasn’t even in a feisty mood. I was toxic. Now, I’m not one of those people who will bawl at rehearsals and need coddling and people to pity me.. just not. Never have been. But I also know that when I’m stressed, tired, and pissy, it’s best I be far, far away from people. I told all of the children I would be backstage in a corner, and I was to remain there, alone. If they journeyed over to talk to me, they knew what to expect.
There is one child that I spend most of my time going round and round with. He’s a bit of a devil. But I’ve worked with kids since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, so I know he just needs a bit of patience. A firm hand, the willingness to smile, and patience. So he comes and finds me backstage.
“I was mad today, too,” he says.
“Okay.” I say. (I told you, I really knew better than to be around people.)
“I woke up mad. And then I went to school mad. And I thought I was gonna kill someone.”
“Alrighty then,” I said, trying my best to politely ignore him.
“But I’m always happy when I come in here.”
[Cue Sarah's heart growing three sizes.]
Sometimes, it takes looking past your own pain to see the bigger picture. Sometimes, we have to realize that yes, we’re hurt, and yes, we want things to be different, and yes, life just seems so damn unfair sometimes. Sometimes, we have bad days, and sometimes things go our way.
Sometimes, we need loved ones to put us in check, to make us stop and re-evaluate things. And sometimes, the most telling advice or guidance comes from a complete stranger. Sometimes, they’re dressed as a toy soldier.
The key is to listen.