I need to be a femi-nazi tonight.

Yes, I said it.  FEMI-NAZI.  I was branded one in college.  Because I studied Petra Kelly, because I had a well-loved copy of the Feminine Mystique, because I wore my hair short.. I was a femi-nazi.  And I was proud of it.  I had my own room in Napier Hall, which by-the-book was a boys’ dorm, but I was one of the boys.  I was not a girl.  I was a boy.

Since that tender, young age of 17, I’ve learned that my feminine wiles can be put to good use.  Quite frankly, I can get whatever I damn well want just by working what I’ve got.  Sadly, not all women realize that power.  I watch so many women THINK they’ve got it all wrapped up, but they just look so empty.. so clueless..

Now, I’m at an age where I use what I need to in order to get what I want, but it’s my brains and intelligence that help me stay at that level.  I constantly take training courses to stay as educated on our systems as I can.  I do everything that I know to do to stay on top of my game.

And if I say so myself, I am damn good at it.

HOWEVER, I work with engineers.

I wrote two months ago about an engineer who handed me a fist full of wadded paper and said, “Here are my receipts for my last two trips.  Maybe three.  Can you file those for me?”  And I did.  I went through them all.  I itemized them, made sure they all were designated to the right charge numbers, and filed and faxed the final reports.  Two months ago.

Today, that traveler needed an emergency trip booked for him, one that would have him leaving at seven in the a.m.. tomorrow.  No sweat, I thought.  So I called Travel and, with my masterful skills, had a picture-perfect itinerary set up in a matter of minutes.

Ten minutes later, I got an email from a travel rep.  His card was declined.

I figured, “Well, travel expense must not have paid all of those expense reports,” which is not unlikely and would have his credit card balance close to $20K.. therefore maxing out the card.  So I frantically put in phone call after phone call.. trying to get his credit limit raised.  Main problem?  The engineer never designated anyone but himself as an authorized user of the account, therefore my calling was going nowhere.

So I call Travel Accounting to see why the reports had not been paid.

Simply put?  He had not approved them.  Though I hurried to get them done, they had been sitting in his in box for two months, accruing interest and late fees, and nothing had ever been approved.

I can only lead you to the bathroom, dear.  You have to wipe your own ass.