I know that it’s kind of insane to think that someone may have made their New Year’s Resolutions before Christmas even hits, but you know what? I’m just a Virgo. I’m all about that pace, bout that pace, no waiting.
(.. I really and truly started a parody for my team to sing – “All About that Space” — no tribbles! — and then I realized 1) how many words there are and 2) how long that song truly is.)
For 2015, my resolutions are:
Spoil. Myself. Rotten.
No, really, that’s it. And I feel guilty saying that, typing that, even thinking it causes me to shrink out of pure guilt and selfishness. But all of my New Year’s Resolutions – every single year – are about trying to take time for things. Things for me, things for others, what have you. And I make the time for others. I make sure the kids all get quality one-on-one time with me, EVERY SINGLE DAY. I make sure that lunches get made, that groceries are bought and dinners cooked, I make sure that there are clean clothes put away. My clothes sit in a heap on a chair in my room. They are unironed, most of them don’t fit, and they are cheap and threadbare. I feel guilty when I do grocery shopping and I buy something that only I’ll eat. Be it eggs or hummus or just healthier food than the other 4/5 of the house will eat, I feel guilty. I feel guilty if I take time to read a book on my own, or if I leave the kids with Bryan so I can go run. As a result, I’ve read exactly none books this year and have run maybe a handful of miles.
Next year, I’ll turn 35. I’m not good at math, but I think that pretty much plops me down in MIDLIFE category. And although I love my life and it doesn’t AT ALL resemble the me I thought I’d be at 35 (I have three more kids than I planned to have and also, although I’ll be eligible to run for the American presidency next year, it doesn’t seem to be in the cards), I’d like to make a few changes.
I’d like to take more baths. Long, hot baths with bath bombs and champagne. I’d like to run three times a week, and not feel bad about leaving my house. I’d like to buy clothes that fit and make me look good. I’d like to get back into working out with friends. I’d like to feel more badass. I’d like to read books, but only books that I enjoy, so I’d like to not feel guilty when I abandon a book because I am not enjoying it. I’d like to laugh so hard that it hurts my side at least once a week, if not more often. I’d like to look at my kids and feel overwhelmed at how amazing they are, and not feel like I’m failing them terribly with every decision I make. I’d like to get back into college, but a college that makes sense for me and my schedule and my life. I’d like to find a renewed sense of purpose at work. I’d like to volunteer in the community more than I do. I’d like to Shop Local more often. I’d like to start a new Pandora bracelet that has charms on it that mean something to me. I’d like to learn to play an instrument, or speak a new language, or do something that engages that side of my brain. I’d like to stop grinding my teeth at night. I’d like to learn more about bourbon (I really like bourbon). I’d like to get more family memberships to places we should be visiting on a regular basis. I’d like to get magazine subscriptions, because I can digest a magazine in a reasonable timeframe. I’d like to mentor more, and be mentored more.
I’d like to enter 35 with a confetti cannon, not with my nails clawing desperately away at my youth. I’d like to celebrate with a chorus line, not a visitation on the days I’ve let slip by.
So 2015 is the year I’d like to spend on things I’d like to be doing.
I think 2015 is going to rock.