On the Pregnancy Front:
Yep, still pregnant. Feeling pregnant now. Exhausted ALL the time. Exhaustion that cannot be articulated; exhaustion that surprises me – even now – at every turn. I can’t let myself sit down when I get home after work, because ALL IS LOST if I do. No one will be fed, no cleaning will happen, and no homework will be accomplished. If I sit down, everyone better start gathering their supplies, cause it’s gonna turn Arena up in here.
Also, I’ve reached the point that I believe is respectively referred to as “popped”. I know I’ll get bigger, but suddenly, people gasp in horror at the sight of me. Men ask, gently, “How are you feeeeling?” Women just look at me in utter sympathy (and fear). Tony is agitated because there is little room left for him to sit on my lap. I now catch myself waddling. For the polite in my office, there is now no more need to question is she? or isn’t she? because OH HELL YES, SHE MOST DEFINITELY IS.
On the Kid-Free Vacation Front:
Bryan and I had a ROUGH weekend some weeks back and at the end of it, we looked at eachother in horror at the realization that WE ARE ADDING ANOTHER VARIABLE TO THIS EQUATION. WE ARE SO STUPID. So we promptly planned two nights away, with no children.
In theory, we did this so I could have some quiet time to work on school work, possibly nap, and we could enjoy time with just each other. Bryan had a few clients to visit while we were traveling, and I was happy to accompany him.
In reality, we realized that we are BORING ASS PEOPLE without children. We have no direction without routine, we have no conversation without discussing parent-teacher conferences, and I don’t even know how to sleep properly without one ear lifted to the sound of creaking floorboards.
However, I did get one power nap in on Friday in front of a fireplace in a bed & breakfast and it was amazing. It snowed the morning we left and it was gorgeous. And any air that isn’t here was sorely needed in my lungs.
On the School Front:
I am having a harder time this semester settling into a groove with these classes. Which means at least once a week, there’s a frantic Oh my God, no one talk to me until after midnight because I’ve got to catch up! session, which is majorly productive and a great way to live! (I kid.)
At least once a week, I sit staring at my screen and finally drop my head to my hands and whisper to no one in particular, “I don’t think I can do this.” I feel like I’m so far behind the curve, and I’m in an institution that doesn’t seem to realize that “distance students” are often working adults, and maybe we need a bit of leeway now and then. Maybe having a deadline at 4:00 p.m. doesn’t really work for us, because 4 out of 5 days a week, I don’t even get to EAT because work is too busy.
But I can do it – maybe not at the perfect grade point average I’d hoped – and I will.
Also – it was suggested that perhaps I double my course load during maternity leave (which, HA HA HA!, sorry, no), but I’ve learned that since I’ll be on maternity leave, I technically have to not be in school that semester. So I’m looking forward to that.
On the Book-a-Month Front:
I did it! I finished a book in January! Like, the night of the 31st, but STILL! I did it! I finished Gone Girl, although the ending made me insanely angry. But I enjoyed the twists and turns and I’m debating sticking with the same author for February, since I’ve heard even better things about Sharp Objects. I am a little unnerved, though, because February is a short month.
On the Upcoming Week Front:
Sure, Valentine’s Day is next Thursday. But more importantly, next Tuesday? Is Mardi Gras. Which means FOOD, FOOD, FOOD. We’ve already indulged in King Cake around these parts (I even got cream cheese filled, which is MY favorite, but no one else will touch it), and I found a local hole in the wall down the street (DOWN THE STREET!) from me that serves boiled crawfish. THERE WILL BE SHELLS, OH YES.
Next week also brings Lent, and I’m really struggling this year with what to give up. I could cheat and say “liquor and sushi”, since I’ve (in theory)(no, really, I have) given it up already because of the boy in my belly. But that feels like cheating. And I’m one of the folks who ENJOYS the challenge of Lent. Bryan and I usually give something up – I’ll have to think on that.
And, obviously, Valentine’s Day. The day that you’re absolutely shamed over if you don’t go above and beyond to declare your undying affection for the person you could possibly ignore/neglect for the other 364 days. The day where a bouquet of roses will cost you 4x the normal amount, but they’ll still die in three days. The day where you can’t get into any restaurant in less than 2 hours. I am not a fan of the day.
On the Let Me Ask You Front:
If you see a pregnant woman wrangling a child while waiting for a seat to open up at a restaurant, and you’re sitting there, taking up a table while checking your phone, having already eaten, let me ask you: would any judge in America convict me for coming over and licking you in the face?