I feel like this has become more robotic than ever, and for that, I apologize. I could slap together another “Stuff I Bought” post (which, really, I love), but c’mon. I have no groundbreaking reveal there. I could tell you about readying our house to sell, but .. um, that’s all planning right now, so I’m not even blessed with Before & After pictures to share. I could fill you in on the recent Private School Woes, but .. to be honest, if I go public with those, it will be to media outlets, so. I’m just kind of tired.
Also, FULL DISCLOSURE: This is shaping up to be a post where I write about how I have nothing to write about. Feel free to click elsewhere. I would.
I’m not even in a bad head space, honestly. I’m just over..wrought? Over..committed? Over..beingpregnant? I feel like I have no head space for ME, which is being highlighted by my idea of reading one book a month. ONE BOOK. OVER A MONTH. This is proving too challenging for me. Me, who used to devour books in a day. I am now 35% through Gone Girl, which I didn’t even have time to start until a week ago, and I’m gloomily accepting that I may not make my month-end deadline.
Every minute feels like it’s spent catching three other balls, which is fine. I know this is temporary; this is just the Now. But maybe being a full-time student while working full-time was a bit optimistic, is what I’m saying. I hear stories of people doing it, making it work, but I don’t know HOW. Then again, I can’t IMAGINE being in school for longer than a full-time course load would force. I want to be done NOW.
And then there’s the stress of a baby on the way, with nowhere to put him. Do we room the two older boys together? They are six years apart, with one on the verge of Teenage Years. I don’t think that’s fair (to either kid). Do we room the two littlest ones together? They are five years apart, with one being a newborn. I don’t think that’s fair (to either kid). We’re looking at baby furniture and trying to figure what would take up the least amount of room but has other pieces available for when we move into an unknown house and MY GOD, I want to be done NOW.
The house. Oh, the house. Our house is actually in pretty good condition, just needing some typical wear-and-tear TLC before we list. But there’s the time aspect of having contractors in and out (I cannot/will not do much of the labor here), and the money aspect, and then the showings and I WANT TO BE DONE NOW.
This all sounds very whiny, and I know that. In my head, the tone is NOT whiny; it’s just urgent, sounding very much like a FIVE ALARM FIRE all the time. Not whiny, just persistent. All the time. Like the running ticker during a weather situation, scrolling along the bottom of my mind no matter what else I’m doing, with that constant BRRRRP BRRRRP BRRRP every two minutes to catch your attention.
(There is also the car dilemma, also the school dilemma, also the private school dilemma, the work dilemma, the other work dilemma, and the list scrolls and scrolls and scrolls.)
So here is my question to you: What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie? In trying to avoid stress overload, I’ve asked this of anyone within earshot, and I have found the answers to be very polarizing. For instance, I am not a Tagalong fan. AT ALL. However, I would cut someone for Samoas. (I have found that there is common ground for all in Thin Mints.)