Better mothers would already have a wrap-up of the occasion and a video tribute to post on the ACTUAL day of birth, but alas, I am not that mother. Regardless, we did have a birthday party last Sunday for Tony (who turns FIVE on Friday, y’all. FIVE.), but in reality, I took full advantage of The Little Gym’s policy that they do everything and I didn’t even take a single picture. Not a single one. So eventually I will get everyone to provide me the pictures THEY took, because many an adorable picture exist, but again: I suck.
(Also, to reiterate: FIVE. I BIRTHED A CHILD FIVE YEARS AGO.)
I will post something on his actual birthday that will probably be a decent mix of weepy and a tad too honest, because that’s my strength. It’s nice to tell you the honest truth of motherhood, because I worry that there’s just not that out there all the time. Once upon a time, someone in a FB comment said that they used to read my blog, but stopped when I called my child an asshat. Something similar to “I wanted to throw my laptop across the room!” And ever since then, I’ve stopped and thought, Are you even paying attention? Because seriously: all children are asshats from time to time. It’s how they learn. It’s how WE learn. If you tell me your child is never an asshat, I’ll call you a damn liar.
So. On to things that are perhaps more amusing.
Some Stuff I’ve Bought Lately
(Are you thinking right now that all I do is shop and gestate? Well, that’s just not true, thank you very much. I shop, gestate, work, and go to school. But outside of that? No, you’re pretty right. I’m pretty limited.)
There has been much raving in my online circles lately about living proof products, specifically the shampoos, conditioners, and the Prime Style Extender (which I’ll cover momentarily). When I heard that Jennifer Anniston had come on board as a spokesperson, I was kind of sold, because let’s face it: we all wanted Rachel hair. The items are a bit pricier than my normal (ahem, drugstore) fare, so I decided to try a sampler pack from Sephora that contained a “travel size” shampoo and conditioner and a massive, full-size hair restoring masque thingie. Here are my thoughts: it’s decent enough. I have VERY thirsty hair, in that my hair absorbs ANYTHING you put on it. I go through shampoo like no one’s business, and I don’t even wash my hair that often. It just soaks it up. So while it’s okay, I don’t know how cost effective it would be. I’ve been using this for almost two weeks now, and .. meh. I am not sold on the masque, but I will say I don’t hate the shampoo and conditioner – in fact, if it were more reasonably priced, I could talk myself into buying the full size. But it’s not.
Okay, so THIS was the product that everyone was buzzing about, and I saw amazing “two-day hair” photos that made me buy into the hype. This is the living proof Prime Style Extender, which claims to repel dirt and oil and make your style last longer. As you may remember from earlier posts and the paragraph prior, I hate washing my hair. I will go as MANY DAYS AS POSSIBLE without washing my hair. While this is not an end-all, be-all, I did notice a difference. In fact, late last week I was actually running a fever at work for days on end, and everyone kept telling me that my hair looked great. (This did not make the fever feel any better, if you were wondering.) I can easily go three days without washing using this. So, you know, maybe it’s all cost effective together, this living proof system. I need less shampoo and conditioner when I use this style extender!
(Sidenote about the living proof products: if you’re not a fan of heavy scents, you may want to sniff before you buy. I wouldn’t say it’s heavily fragranced – it’s pleasant and floral – but it’s the first shampoo/conditioner I’ve EVER used that I could smell later that day.)
Also, hi. Let me introduce you to my new lovah. His name is Döhm, and I adore him. He is not a sound machine, but he is a sound conditioner, and yes, there is a difference. As you may recall, my husband is a snorer of massive proportions. We bought a larger size mattress (that I’ll review after a full month of sleeping on), but before that was delivered, we plugged this baby in. This has one switch – On and Off. There are no looped digital rainforest tracks, no whale mating calls that are the same damn noise over and over again. This is just wind. Very loud, very calming wind. This particular unit is endorsed by The National Sleep Foundation as well as TONS of psychiatrist’s offices, who use it as a sound dampening device. We have the two channel variety (High & Low), and when it’s on High, there’s not much else I can hear. And I sleep like a baby. Make no mistake: every child’s bedroom will have this in it by the end of 2013. LOVE IT.
Okay, I did not buy a chiropractic table, but I did have my first visit. Although I’ve been reluctant since – well, EVER, really – to have someone WILLINGLY SNAP MY BONES INTO PLACE, the pain in my hips had gotten so bad during this pregnancy that I was often in tears. (And I’m not one to whine about pain.) So I was nervous because 1) I have many, many joints that just POP LOOSE all the time for no reason and THAT SHIT HURTS and 2) um, someone will be manipulating my SPINE. But I actually found a lot of research that sang the praises of chiropractic care through pregnancy. (One of which was a statistic that chiropractic care during pregnancy would lower the likelihood of birth deformities. You probably know that that sealed the deal.) So I went despite my better judgement, and lo and behold, my better judgement was wrong. The Dr. was fast, efficient, and actually collaborates with the local mother/child ward to help mothers in birth and through breastfeeding issues. (Because that’s sometimes alignment related. RIGHT?) Within ten minutes of not-at-all painful or freaky procedures (I could lay down on my stomach! AND THE ANGELS SANG!), my hips were better. (Um, my tailbone was misplaced? How does one misplace a tailbone?) I was SOLD. Not only that, but he found where my knees were not lined up (hence them just randomly popping out of joint) and fixed them. Y’ALL, I NO LONGER HAVE TO DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT AT WORK. And for that, I will happily pay a specialist fee.