So I went to the doctor yesterday and SHAZAM, I’m not having a Man Cold. In fact, I’m having a very-real-why-didn’t-you-come-sooner? cold, equating to a double ear infection and bronchitis. Huh.
Since my case was already so advanced (OVERACHIEVER!), I was granted a couple of options, and of course, I took D: All of the Above. So I graciously dropped my pants for a steroid shot there in office, along with a round of antibiotics and a cough syrup laced with codeine.
(If I wasn’t on a list for buying iffy medication before this visit, I must be now.)
(Side note: I hate having to sign out buying cold meds SO MUCH that I purposefully pick up a gallon of bleach to check out each time. EACH TIME.)
Anyway, it’s been so long since I’ve been this sick (I’ve probably gotten three steroid shots in my life), that I had forgotten what meds like this do to my body.
Post-Doctor Visit
Hour 1: zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hour 2: Huh. I feel a little better.
Hour 3: I think I might go take an easy, 20-mile jog real quick.
Hour 4: OH MY GOD, I’M HAVING THE CHANGE. WHY IS IT SO HOT IN HERE?
Hour 5: Bryan, does Tony look like a glazed ham to you too? Also, don’t you think that furniture would be delicious with salt on it?
Hour 6: It’s probably time to take my cough meds.
Hour 7: IS NO SARAH. ONLY ZUUL.
Hour 8: zzzzzzz
Hour 2 a.m.: HEY LET’S GO TRY TO RUN A MARATHON, WANNA? HAVEN’T YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO RUN A MARATHON?
Today, I’m having good spells and bad spells. During the good spells, I want to do jumping jacks and handstands. The bad spells leave me unbearably dizzy and wanting to nap. But the good news is: DIAGNOSIS and it’s not Ebola or the plague. HOORAY!
That is hilarious in all its hellishness. PLEASE tell me that you didn’t go for a jog. I assume that Bryan talked you out of anything more than jumping jacks and handstands? Right?
Nap lots. Enjoy the hours of lucidity in between doses. Recover soon, ‘kay?
Bryan’s exact words were: “HELL NO. Go back to bed. For someone who is so smart, you can be so dumb.”
I’m in good hands.
That sounds miserable. Hope you feel better soon!
Jesabes wants you to read ..Noble or selfish?
Hey, I have bronchitis too! Isn’t it fun? I however, did not get any ass shots, what a rip off.
Elizabeth wants you to read ..The Fall/Winter Uniform
I literally laughed aloud at #4.
Hope you’re better soon!
Oh my goodness, that was me last week! So, apparently your entire face can swell up because of an ear infection, causing severe jaw pain. I went to the doctor convinced I’d somehow broken my jaw or had an abscess or something. Turns, out, that is not the case, and I spent 5 days alternately feeling like a bunny on crack, wanting to pass out for 12 hours straight and then needing to eat everything. Everything. I was an immense source of entertainment for my coworkers. Feel better soon!
Rachel wants you to read ..Making It