Because I love the big ole mixes of color that I have at month’s end, here’s our June Wrap-Up.
June was a very hard month for us. Not, like, in the oppressive way of finances or health or even weather-related (although HOLY HELL, IT’S BEEN SO HOT HERE LATELY), but .. hard for us on a personal level. And thusly, here are some things you should know.
I’ve watched as big-time bloggers have undergone personal traumas and I’ve never really wondered if they handled it correctly online. As readers, we feel personally invested in their lives, and I’ve watched some readers react angrily to news of divorce or separation or bankruptcy or what have you. They feel betrayed that they were not aware of these things happening.
They accuse these bloggers of lying, or wearing a pretense.
But you know, when it all boils down to it: that’s their lives. You can spend the ten minutes reading and that’s all well and good, but it’s their EVERY DAY. They do not get to close the browser window and have it vanish.
Then it’s argued that, well, they started this! They put their lives online, so they should be true to what they started. They should be authentic to their online personas.
(Side note: it took me a good ten minutes to come up with the word authentic. I found it because it kept pinging me back to a lot of the Lana Del Ray flaming that occurred when she performed on SNL. I live a complicated existence.)
So, as someone who plays this role, let me just say: sometimes, what’s happening backstage is not fit for the audience to see. Until the cast is nailed down, or the lines are at least firmed up, there is no point in raising the curtain yet.
Also, there’s a reason you don’t see a lot of the backstage: that’s where the magic happens. If you knew how Cinderella magically transformed from ash-laden to full-on-princess, well, that would just take some of the fairy dust out of the equation, and what fun would that be anyway?
Seeing things as they are wanted to be seen is part of what the internet is about. As a result, I tend to read sites that are realistic about what they cover. If they are parents writing, I expect to hear the good and the bad of parenting. Please spare me the 24/7 sunshine and roses routine, because, um, I HAVE KIDS. I know that there’s copious amounts of poop and tantrums. So when you paint the Norman Rockwell, that’s your choice, but I don’t find that worth my time.
But keep in mind that even “truthful” sites – like this one, I suppose? – have things that you don’t know are happening. This month is a grand example. Everything is fine now, but man, we had a couple of weeks where I couldn’t put words to paper. Is that me beingunauthentic? Perhaps. But it’s how bloggers are. To be perfectly honest, if I saw a blogger document a marriage unraveling or a bankruptcy surfacing, I’d doubt it was truthful at all. You hold some cards close to the chest until you’re ready to show your hand. It’s part of the theatre of it. We are story-tellers.
Anyway. I wanted you to know that I try and give you the truth as I believe it is meant to be revealed. This weekend had some unfortunately-timed comments happen that I took personally – whether or not they were directed at me is irrelevant, really, because BUCK UP, BUTTERCUP, amirite? – and I thought I needed to say this. I love my kids, I love my husband, I love my life – but I may not like them from time to time. That’s part of, you know, being human.
Anyway. July, let’s do this.