Last weekend was incredibly epic. It was epic in so many ways, but mostly epic in that I took absolutely zero pictures of anything cool as it was happening.
Friday night, Kim threw an amazing book club party and I actually — once upon a time — belonged to a book club once and they let me keep coming even though I rarely actually read the book. In truth, I didn’t finish this book either, but I read over half of it and that’s really really good for my usual rate. Anyway, so about a bazillion people came and there are some crucial points to Friday night:
- I met lots of very funny, very smart women.
- There were Snausages on the table.
- Kim’s husband introduced me to the Margarona.
Some of you may be unfamiliar with the Margarona, so let me introduce you: it’s if a Corona and a margarita had pretty liquor babies in a glass with a salt rim. In theory, I know, sounds gross. Especially if – like me – you’re not a beer fan. But it makes it fizzy and far less sweet, so if your husband is a complete and total gentleman who believes in refilling your glass without your even having to ask, YOU GET SLOSHED AT KIM’S HOUSE.
Saturday, I had a 5K to run.
I asked Kim’s husband before I went home (you know, while I was holding on to the floor for dear life) if this was a bad training idea. He said, no, he had done this exact same training right before a half marathon. I felt better right up until he confessed that he projectile vomited all over the Finish Line.
Saturday morning, I didn’t QUITE realize how hungover I was. I didn’t have any problem french braiding my hair for the race, so I figured I was good to go. Bryan left before I did to pick up Tony from my parents’ house, so I was left to my own devices. Again, I dressed myself and EVERYTHING. Then I promptly went into the garage, remembered sunscreen, then sprayed the 85 SPF spray DIRECTLY IN MY EYES. Imagine someone literally TRYING to spray sunscreen in their eyes. That was my method of delivery, albeit entirely unintentional.
Now, most sane people would go, “Hm. That stings. I may have a slight chemical burn inside of my eye hole.” But I am not sane by any account, so I drove my weepy ass over to the meeting point with my running friends. Because they are all very nice people, they kept kindly asking, “Are you SURE you want to race like that?” and I’d say What, this little thing? The fact that my face and cheek are melting off and my eye is straight up leaking? Nah, that should clear up ONCE I START RUNNING IN THIS HEAT.
God love those nice, nice people.
So off we went, and I did finish the race, although about mile 3, I had to physically hold my eye close to make the pain subside. Not “go away entirely”, mind you, merely subside. And everyone looked at me weird. But I got a medal, so!
Here’s our “Woo Hoo” picture with our larger running group, and please to be noticing that I hid my right side of my face behind a hand. So as not to scare the public. (I am in the back in a neon orange headband that was later used to hold my eye closed.)
To show you how bad it was – SEVEN HOURS LATER – here is my face. To reiterate on the pain and the ensuing numbness, I believed I was smiling in this picture.
We all agreed that I would not visit an ER because 1) I’m pretty sure I owe them from my last visit still and 2) most of my family was already there. (It was a bad weekend all around.)
Sunday was Mother’s Day! I was surprised by a child yelling HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! and then throwing a gift bag at me and then retreating to Fruit Ninja. But I got a lovely bag of gifts, one of which was this ULTIMATE TSHIRT:
We met my family for a lovely brunch that included mimosas, so you know we enjoyed that. (They had food too. I think.)
Then we visited Toys R Us, because why not? And, naturally, hijinks ensued.
All in all, a pretty good weekend. Other than the debilitating eye injury. Which, you know, I don’t think we should base much on.
Lastly: Bryan in my junior year Show Choir Dress.