I remember Stranger Danger growing up. I was almost never put in a situation that my Stranger Danger prowess was needed – thanks be to all the powers – but I still remember the loud rehearsals in my gradeschool classes. STRANGER! STRANGER!
If you notice a stranger following you, you get away from them.
If a stranger chases after you, you run.
If a stranger touches you in any way, YOU FIGHT BACK.
I guess that’s why I can’t necessarily get behind the allegations that George Zimmerman was committing a hate crime when he shot Trayvon Martin. Before you start hurling the attacks at me, listen.
George Zimmerman is a 28 year old man who lives with his parents. A quick study across the web indicates that he’s had several cases of assault in his past – although in every single one, he’s always claimed to have been attacked first – and he’s tried to become a police officer. His father is a former judge in their hometown. He had the assault charges “pleaded” down specifically so they wouldn’t pop up when he tried (and succeeded) to acquire a concealed weapons permit.
Clearly, Zimmerman locked on to Trayvon Martin because of his race. But after the initial lock, it was all Zimmerman’s mentality from there. (Much like it’s Geraldo’s mentality. And the Sanford, Florida PD’s mentality.)
Trayvon Martin did everything Stranger Danger taught us to do. He was on his cellphone with his girlfriend the entire time, and by her account, Trayvon’s hood was not even up when he noticed he was being followed. He put his hood on to avoid eye-contact with Zimmerman, she said. To avoid a confrontation. She urged him to run, but Martin worried that would make him look guilty.
He was followed by a stranger. He walked faster to get away.
Zimmerman then assaulted Trayvon, who was a 17 year old of 6 feet tall and barely 160 lbs. To put that into perspective, while he was taller than me, I outweighed him. He was a child. Zimmerman tackled Martin, and Martin did what Stranger Danger teaches us to do.
He was attacked by a stranger. He fought back like hell.
I had the misfortune of hearing the 911 call the other day. The screams in the background were haunting. They were not a man’s screams. They were that of a child.
I have to say that this case has brought out the ugly around us. The people who are defending Zimmerman’s actions (“He was being punched in the face,” they cry, “.. it was self defense!”) are people who I know. I know them and in many many cases, I love them. But. I cannot be okay with the actions being taken by that side right now – trolling his Facebook friends, calling him a gangsta because he had a school suspension due to tardiness. Do you not remember your gradeschool rehearsals? Do you not remember Stranger Danger?
I don’t know how you can be a parent – of a CHILD – and be okay with what went down there. Color aside, because maybe it’s sometimes hard to see past what and who we are, what happened that night is the stuff of nightmares. It’s the stuff that we teach our children and hope they never have to use it. It’s the stuff that sinks our hearts as we explain that some people will want to hurt you, not because of anything you did, but you don’t let them, you hear me? You fight back and you scream and you kick and you punch and you fight.
I am the mother of a white child, so I cannot pretend to even know half of the complications and implications of race. But I am the mother of a bullied child. I have had that discussion in italics there before. I have had to teach my child that sometimes, people will want to hurt you, for no reason that you can control. But you fight back, goddamnit. YOU FIGHT BACK.
And we have these talks, about how grown-ups and policemen and courts are there to save us from the bad guys. We have these talks and then a 17 year old boy is gunned down because he wanted some candy after dark and then I wonder if we’re wasting our breath at all.
I’m hesitantly leaving comments open. I am always one for open discussion as long as it’s respectful. Anything less than respectful and kind will be deleted.
Truly excellent.
your wrote “I had the misfortune of hearing the 911 call the other day. The screams in the background were haunting. They were not a man’s screams. They were that of a child.”
That was Zimmerman screaming according to eyewitness that called 911 and the police reports which are available online… even Trayvon’s father said it wasn’t his son when he listened to the tape.
I ache for all involved and it is a travesty that young black men (and women) are so stereotyped by their worst peers, but where there are facts, we need to keep them in the story.
Hm. Well, to be honest, I was going by the interview I watched with the family on Anderson Cooper’s show last week. But thanks for clearing that up.
Knowing Zimmerman’s mentality, I stand by my statement. That was not the scream of a man.
Great article! I tried to follow you on Facebook, but when you click on the icon, a message error comes up. Would love to follow your blog and maybe you could follow mine.
Thanks for the great read!
I tend to agree, sadly. I don’t think there were any ‘men’ there that day not the 6’3″ 17 yo who probably thought he was nor the 5’9″ 28yo who should have been but wasn’t. Just awful all around.. prayers.
The entire thing is making me sick. I do not believe for one second that Zimmerman was acting in self-defense. Nor do I believe that Martin is the angelic teenager the media is making him out to be. Like you, I’m white so I also cannot pretend know all the complications and implications of race. But I AM the mother of a daughter. And every time I hear more about this attack I can’t help but project… what if it was a 17 year old girl in a skirt and tank top? What if she was followed by Zimmerman and ran as he got closer? What if she fought back because he was trying to rape her? What if he shot her because she wouldn’t submit to his twisted demands of who she should be and how he should be able to dominate her?
Unfortunately, I think it’s our job as parents to teach a child not only to fight back and use the system to help them fight (as flawed as it is), but to control the image they put out there. Is that right or fair? HELL NO. But it’s reality. There will always be people out there who think a hoodie or a short skirt is an invitation for violence. And there will always be the warped people who defend them. I think there is a fine line between teaching your child to be their own person and forget what other people think, and teaching them that the image they chose to project will influence how people treat them. I’m not sure how to do that, but I’m working on it.
(None of this is a comment on Trayvon’s parents – just thoughts & conversation that have come up in the aftermath.)
I think the argument that the hoodie encouraged Zimmerman to murder is ridiculous. Listen, people are crazy and can hate or judge anyone for how they dress. I know people that genuinely hate people because they are black, wear hoodies, or all black clothing. On the same hand I know people that genuinely hate and judge people because they are fat, blonde, are mothers, and are white. The fact is that we all make judgement based on race, clothing, etc. The problem with the Trayvon Martin case is that people had the capability to murder based on that judgement.
Some idiot decided it was a good idea to give an unstable man a gun. And some other idiot decided it was a good idea to put him on neighborhood watch. And then some other idiot decided it was a good idea to make a law that essentially allowed people to murder if they “felt threatened.”
I hope and pray that our society grows into a place where we learn that judgement is wrong but does happen but that we are called to be educated protectors and defenders.
I believe Trayvon Martin stood his ground. He was right to defend himself against this stranger…a stranger with a domestic violence record and assault on a police officer. Seems like Zimmerman is always putting his hands on someone, and now he has taken it up a notch…graduated to murder of a minor. We teach kids stranger danger…fight, scream, kick, yell, scratch, do anything you can to get away. Trayvon tried, but died trying. He did not know this man, he could’ve been a child molestor, kidnapper, or as it turns out a killer. All Zimmerman had to do was follow instructions and stay in his vehicle. Most dogs can follow an instruction as simple as “stay”. Trayvon even tried avoiding Zimmerman, tried a tactical move…getting off the road path where vehicles are and taking the pedestrian only path, where no cars could drive. Even that didn’t stop Zimmerman, because, as he puts it, “these a$-holes always get away”. So, he stalked, hunted and killed someone’s teenager. All that kid was doing was trying to get home. Zimmerman put a hole in that child’s chest and went home, walking around as free as a bird.
The shooter only got one fact right about the child – that he was black. That seems to have been the motivation for everything that followed …
Trayvon wasn’t ‘on drugs or something’, nor could he have been ‘acting suspiciously’. He was walking back to his father’s residence from a sweet shop – NOT a suspicious activity in my book.
The shooter seems also to have been a serial 911 caller …. was it 46 calls since 2004?! I’ve only had occasion to call the police ONCE this century so far. And in the past 40 years in my neighborhood I’ve only had to call the police on two other occasions and one of those calls was to do with a distressed horse!
I do agree though that Trayvon had every right to defend himself from any stranger or any aggressive approach from such. Trayvon (or any other person going about their affairs peaceably) have every right to do so free from public, personal or official harassment.