So .. it’s been a trying week around here. Per always, I’m going to try and skirt the issue entirely for the sake of step-privacy, but TRYING is a good word for it. Like, at lunch on Friday and said, “Okay, I know you keep saying I know, I know, but I need you to HEAR me. I am at a breaking point.”
We are there.
And I also had the breakthrough that many of you already realized – my latest issues with breathing seem to be anxiety related. And I had to finally concede that “anxiety” is not mutually related to “stress”, because “stress” I can handle. I’m actually really really good with stress. Stick me in a proposal center with two weeks to deadline and an entire rewrite and I’M FINE. But anxiety, it seems, does me in.
I’ve decided that – for my own personal reasons – anxiety is things that I cannot control. Stress is typically related to things I can control, or at least have some form of control. But anxiety is related to things that impact me by I cannot mitigate. And anxiety is what has caused me to be unable to take a deep breath for the last few weeks.
Suddenly – as if by magic – I could breathe again.
I love little breakthroughs. I think it’s why I love Intervention and Hoarding so much. You see the light bulb click (sometimes).
In another news, I’ve spent some time this week exploring local military academies. (YES, THIS IS INDICATIVE OF MY WEEK.) And I realized that while I was a fan of this line of academia, what I REALLY want is a school run by Ron Swanson. Because I think that Ron has a better grasp on the necessities of life than most drill sargents, but with the same gruff exterior. For instance, while I want my boys to appreciate wood-working, I also want them to love bacon and eggs.