Yes, I could write a post at how good I’m doing at some things, but for the past few weeks, I feel much more content acknowledging my failures. And then drowning them in warm, warm Krispie Kremes.
The Outside of My House. I know how silly that sounds, but HEY, HAVE WE MET? I’m a little neat-freaky about a lot of things, and one of those things happens to be ALL OF THE THINGS. A subset of THAT is the outside of my house. We have a ginormous backyard, and a decent-sized front yard, and I am in charge of all things in it. Which is not my choice, by the way. It has just fallen into the ALL OF THE THINGS camp. As a result, I tirelessly mulch/weed/plant/replant/fertilize/maintain every single year. But this year, our spring is already here – as opposed to my typically starting to plant in late April – and I’m already failing. I have a plan to utilize hostas and boxwoods this year to limit potential failures, but .. a plan requires time. I ain’t got it. Also, we have a mischievous chocolate lab who drags ANYTHING out into the backyard, so it literally looks like a tornado wiped out .. a small garbage bag or something less disastrous. There are random cups, plates, socks, bags, trash, boxes, limbs, cable, and a blanket out there. But I CANNOT clean it up. It is one of the TWO things I will not be responsible for.
(THERE HAS TO HAVE BEEN A BENEFIT TO HAVING ALL BOYS, RIGHT? ISN’T THIS THE BENEFIT?!)
Breathing. I know. So .. about two weeks ago, I started having random hour-long periods in my workday where I couldn’t take a deep breath. It felt like there was 1/3 of my lungs suddenly inaccessible to me. Which, I dunno. Breathing is overrated. And I couldn’t see a pattern, so I thought it would go away on its own. But then it happened two or three times a day, where for an hour or two, I couldn’t get a full breath of air. Well, now it’s pretty much all the time. It could be my pleurisy is back (WAH.), or it could be walking pneumonia (although I feel fine!), or .. I don’t know. The most action I’ve taken to solve this was to download the WebMD app on my phone and look at related symptoms to “Not being able to take a deep breath”:
SENSE OF IMPENDING DOOM. Interesting, no?
Patience. Um, I wish I were a better person here. But the reality of it is, when I’m juggling a million things, I kind of expect everyone to keep up. So I get HELLA IMPATIENT when something goes off-plan. When Tony doesn’t want to eat the dinner he asked for or when Bryan forgets something that’s been on the calendar or when rain impedes the one night I can get out to run .. I become impatient and not always nice. I’m working on it, I am. But currently? I am sucking at it.
Acknowledging what time of month it might be. Oh, wait. It .. hm. Well, suddenly my dinner last night of 1) a can of black olives and 2) Reese’s Cups might .. hm. Well. I’ll be.
Your dinner of a can of black olives made me laugh out loud.
Last night I ate: two pickle slices, sixl Thin Mints, three slices of deli ham, a stick of string cheese, cherry tomatoes and dip, and an orange. I have the PMS too.
K wants you to read ..Holding
Okay, so…I don’t want to freak you out or cause unnecessary panic, but please get the breathing thing checked out. I wrote my shortness of breath off as a bit of lung congestion following a cold and I ended up in the hospital two weeks later with a deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary embolisms, and one less kidney. I know mine was a really freak health issue, but if I’d just had it checked out early I might have saved myself a world of pain and an entire kidney. I was so worried about seeming paranoid that I ignored that little voice in my head. Sometimes, that little voice is right.
My dinner last night was artisan prosciutto from the Batali family meat shop. Just salty, salty meat. And then I cried because I love my cat so much. Holy PMS, batman.
I’m getting the shortness of breath thing, too! It doesn’t last as long as yours does, though.
I also suuuuuuck at patience. I get frustrated way too easily. The biggest culprit is driving. Road rage, fo’ sho’.
AND, I also have PMS. The cravings haven’t hit yet, but the feeling insecure and vulnerable sure has!
Shortness of breath for me is usually a panic attack in the making! And yes, I seem to really be having alot of these of late. But do, please, get it checked out if this does not get any better. As far as the backyard goes, GIVE IT UP! Since we both have large dogs that live both inside and outside, I can certainly feel for you. I struggle daily with the dog hair in my house and feel like I live in a barn most of the time. The backyard gets picked up once a week or so but certainly not by me as I am not the dog person in the house and if I did have to clean the backyard, I would be impossible to live with which I think my husband already is convinced of! Now about the outside maintenance of the yard, plants, etc. — My advice to you is to get everything as low maintenance as possible! And you should really listen to your OLDER and WISER cousin in this instance!! No more do I spend the time planting flowers every year, If it is a flower, it is in a pot and thrown away at the end of the season. Other than mulching, that’s it for the “flower” beds. Just know that you are not the only one SUCKING at all of these things. Right there with ya!!
Yep, the backyard is a lost cause. Buy nice curtains & block out the sight of it. I agree– in the front yard, fill your shady spots with hostas and sunny spots with all the other bulbs in the lily family (daffodil, lily, spider lily, liriope–but the seedless varieties.) I am working on a yard that takes care of itself. Wish it would mow & weed itself, too. Personally, I don’t like boxwoods; they’re a privet and many just grow leaves on the outside. I’m getting quite happy with my nandinas and azaleas. Can’t wait until the Plant Sale at the Gardens in April.
OK, serious stuff. I support those who recommend that if you’ve had respiratory issues in the past, you might want to get checked out. With the early spring has come early pollen. Also, not to sound nosy, but the panic-attack-like symptoms are credible, too. I am a deep-diaphragm breather naturally, but after I turned 30, I’d notice that there would be times that I was tired and breathing from my upper chest. I learned that it was a symptom of my worsening depression. Just my experience– everyone is different– but counseling in the past and medication currently (yea!) have helped me. If I do notice my breathing has changed, I just consciously work to breathe deeper. That’s just me. Since you know better than most of the world about “how” to breathe, if you cannot adjust your breathing, it might be serious.
Take care and feel better soon. Your 2-legged & 4-legged pack needs you.
LizzieV wants you to read ..LEAP!
I get the breathing thing when I’m having an anxiety attack…does your heart race at all or do you feel warm/dizzyish? Just a thought. (and it’s never when I’d EXPECT to have an anxiety attack either. it’s always at like 3 am or 1 in the afternoon while I’m watching HGTV…I mean cleaning my house like a good housewife…:D )
Diana wants you to read ..Tornado’s and The Waiting Game
I made strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and then ate fish for lunch today. I don’t like any of the above three things. At all. I’m not going to worry until I voluntarily start eating oatmeal or bananas. Blech.
Rachel wants you to read ..So when it comes down to the right thing versus the fun thing,