Hey, let’s do something together, you and I.

So, I’m .. I’m kind of struggling lately.

Most of it is stuff I can’t discuss here, but suffice it to say that I’m frustrated and tired and a teeeeeny bit resentful and frankly, about ready to throw up my hands and step back and let whatever happen. Also, it’s been raining here almost nonstop for about a month now – big, flooding rain – and my house looks like.. well, it looks like I have three dogs who have been outdoors for about a month-long rain.

Also, I joined a team for our state-wide Alabama Scale Back program, which I usually rock at. I haven’t been on the scale since .. I honestly can’t remember when. The goal is that each team member (of four members) lose 10 pounds, and I thought, Yeah, I could stand to lose about 10 pounds and then imagine my dismay when I was FIFTEEN POUNDS HEAVIER THAN I BELIEVED MYSELF TO BE. FIFTEEN.

Um. Gave up dairy = gaining weight. Yeah, shoot me now.

It occurred to me this morning as I was struggling to pack a dairy-free lunch that I am now almost at the weight (according to the scale) that I was WHEN I BROUGHT TONY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL. Y’all. I could cry at that thought. Because I don’t FEEL that heavy. I’m wearing smaller sizes than I was then! That doesn’t MAKE ANY SENSE.

And I’m trying REALLY MASTERFULLY HARD to not spin into a depression spiral here. I went home and cleaned, sweeping and mopping every hard surface in the house. I cooked myself a real meal, even though I was the only one eating anything besides dino-nuggets.

But in ten minutes, the floors were back to normal and I set off the smoke-alarm while making dinner.

GIVE ME A BREAK HERE, FATE.

Tonight, we are swimming for a few hours (that always does wonders for my mental state) and I’m putting away the piles of laundry I’ve let accumulate in my room. I am the worst about taking care of myself when it comes to laundry, and I find that my room is often a direct reflection of my mental state. Messy room = messy mind. I’m OCD. It’s black and white with me.

Also, I am smudging the house again. Clearly the last time has worn off.

I’ve found that when I’m like this, the best thing I can do is to be kind to others. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I’m serious. If I put good vibes out? I tend to feel better about what I’m getting in return.

So can you do that too, for me, today? Can you pay someone a compliment that you would normally just think privately to yourself? Can you pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line at Starbucks? Can you delurk on your favorite blog to leave a comment? (Yes, us bloggers are simple folk.) Can you post an especially sweet/beautiful/funny picture to Instagram for everyone to see?

It’s the thick of election primary season, so I think the level of hate and vitriol in the karmic atmosphere has tipped the balance into VERY BAD STUFF. Let’s tip it back, you want to?

26 Responses to Hey, let’s do something together, you and I.

  1. PinkieBling January 24, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    I’m all for tipping it back!!! I chat with you on Twitter sometimes, and I always read your blog, but I tend to lurk when it comes to commenting. So! Here I am.

    Have I ever told you that you have gorgeous skin? And that I love love love your “stuff I’ve bought lately” posts?

    I hope things clear up soon with the unbloggable stuff.

  2. TheBookMamma January 24, 2012 at 11:33 am #

    Flinging love and adoration to you through the ether… I’m the same way with my room and laundry. I’ve had the same piles of clothes (albeit clean) and have just been moving them around to different locations in the room. INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS. That’s me and laundry.
    TheBookMamma wants you to read ..Where We’ve Been

    • Sarah Lena January 24, 2012 at 11:45 am #

      @TheBookMamma, YES. YES YES YES. I have two basketfuls of clean clothes sitting in my room in a corner. TWO. If they belonged to the boys? They’d been folded/hung up/put away while they were still warm from the dryer. But my clothes? In a basket.

      WHY?

      PS – I love you.

  3. elsewise January 24, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Delurking as requested to comment… As my husband and I (still) consider whether we’d like to have kids someday, your blog helps me feel like we could manage. Your obvious love for your family comes through so much, and even your posts about the hard times reassure me that there are ways to come out of darkness stronger and wiser and more connected than you were before. Thank you for inspiring me to consider a different sort of family.

    (Tangentially, you also make me want to spend money at Sephora, but I’ll forgive you for that.)

    • Sarah Lena January 24, 2012 at 11:45 am #

      @elsewise, Honey, this meant more to me than I can put into words, so I hope the massive outpouring of love I just felt for you makes its way north. Like, WAAAAAAY north.

  4. thecooley1008 January 24, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    One of my guys at work did something interesting yesterday. He found a penny tails-side-up in a restaurant parking lot as we went in for lunch. We gave him a hard time, telling him of all the bad luck he would get for picking it up, while he just smiled and told us to fuck off. Men. :) So we got back to the car, and he “dropped” the penny, making sure it was heads-up this time. Puzzled, we asked why he put the penny back. He said someone else might come along who either needed the money or the luck more than him. I was really struck by how something as simple as a penny can carry so much meaning. Hopefully he built up some good karma from that one!

  5. Cass January 24, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

    You’ve got it – kindness is the cure. Thankfulness is the anecdote. Sending you good vibes for good measure too.

    • Sarah Lena January 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

      @Cass, I was thinking about you last week, when I started to do my email purge again. You have made me a better person by teaching me to UNSUBSCRIBE to stupid emails. Seriously. xxoo

  6. Nanette January 24, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

    I’m a faithful reader but woeful commenter, so here I am.

    Sending much love to you, mama! xoxo
    Nanette wants you to read ..Stuff Em Says

    • Sarah Lena January 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

      @Nanette, You’re going to laugh at this, but I think you of you every morning. EVERY SINGLE MORNING. As I use my crazy-big hairdryer. :)

  7. Zoot January 24, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    Can I tell you something I was just saying last night – swear to God – about you. I was talking to someone asking me about your husband and how he got into TDing our musical and I ended up talking about YOU and how awesome you are. I was all, “She works full time, sometimes 60 hours a week and she always looks amazing and she cooks and cleans and…” I only stopped because I felt I had tipped into that “Creepy Stalker Flattery” as the girl was giving me this strange look.

    So…I’m passing along my kindness to you. Because you were on my mind in a very positive light last night. Seriously. I wish you knew how high of a pedestal I have you on – then you could punch that scale in the face and say, “Whatevs. Creepy Kim thinks I’m AWESOME.” :)

    ((HUG))

    Now…I’ll be sure to continue the trend and spread some kindness throughout my day too, you’re right, I think the universe needs it.

    • Sarah Lena January 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

      @Zoot, Um, high five to you, My Internet Friend Who Is Also Awesome In Real Life. I often swoon over your amazingness too.

  8. Diana January 24, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    Girl….I don’t know what you’re going through but I KNOW how sucky it is not to be able to vent about it. Sending good vibes your way!

    Also…A Few Healthy Filling Lunches:

    1. Peanut butter and jelly toast. I take one slice of bread, toast it, add a good deal of Peanut Butter (all natural) and then a smidge of organic strawberry preserves to give it some sweet. I eat an apple with that and I’m good to go for like…EVER.

    2. Anything salads. I make two grilled chickens at the beginning of the week and slice those suckers up and then I just add whatever is in my fridge (cranberries, walnuts, hard boiled eggs (which, side note, are also GREAT filling snacks) BACON) and just top with a balsamic or oil/vinegar.

    3. Oatmeal – true story. I’ve always been a fan of oatmeal. My favorite brand right now is Oat Revolution (in a tall skinny box). I just get the plain and add applesauce for a little extra flavor. I’ll eat a hard boiled egg with that and a banana and call it a day.

    They’re usually pretty quick and I don’t have to think about those lunches very much, which makes me happy inside.
    Diana wants you to read ..On Half Marathon Running

    • Sarah Lena January 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm #

      @Diana, I just need to start planning, period. That’s my downfall. I get so bogged down in the mornings that I figure “Eh, I’ll just have a Larabar for lunch” and guess who gets hungrier than a Larabar? THIS GAL.

      Also, saw your BP woes. Take it easy for awhile.

  9. CharlieSue January 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

    I miss commenting. My *personal* commenting needs to make a comeback (don’t call it a comeback!).

    So, I’m starting HERE to tell you that I think you’re GRAND and GREAT and your hair is PRETTY. And I’m sorry about the un-bloggable (NOTHING is more frustrating than the un-bloggable, especially when it would help your heart), I’m thinking about you and passing on good thoughts and internet hugs.
    CharlieSue wants you to read ..On smiling anyway

  10. CharlieSue January 24, 2012 at 1:30 pm #

    And OH MY GOSH, that little extra “CharlieSue wants you to read…” thing? I did not DO that, it did it on its own. I did not intend to pass along faux-comment “READ ME!” spam. I’m SORRY!
    CharlieSue wants you to read ..On smiling anyway

    • Sarah Lena January 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm #

      @CharlieSue, You’re so precious!! That’s a plugin I run so that you guys get automatic love for YOUR blogs when you comment. No spam worries!!

      Also, it’s not a comeback. IT’S A RESURGENCE.

  11. Jessica January 24, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    My brother just moved back to Mobile for his job and they are all having a hard time with the rain. People need sunshine!!
    Jessica wants you to read ..17 Weeks

  12. Jennifer January 24, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

    You are awesome as evidenced by the fact that your child said “Howdy, Fuckers” and you wanted to laugh.

    Because whenever my child says “Fuckin’” which is what she says, never Fuck or Fucker just Fuckin’ (which shows me that she did indeed learn it from me even though I WILL NEVER ADMIT AS MUCH TO MY HUSBAND) I mostly want to die of embarrassment because I think it makes me look like a bad parent.

    When, in fact, I should laugh and realize that’s what little kids do. So, yeah to you. While I don’t often comment, I always read your stuff and it’s rare that I don’t leave thinking that Sarah has a lot on her plate and it’s amazing that she ever has time to write a coherent sentence let alone make me laugh.

    You’re the best. Hope you feel sufficiently AWESOME now.
    Jennifer wants you to read ..Pregnancy Isn’t Always Pretty

    • Sarah Lena January 25, 2012 at 11:24 am #

      @Jennifer, It’s totally what little kids do. And we could be embarrassed, but that’d be like admitting that we ourselves don’t say it. I mean, don’t we HAVE kids so that they’ll be little versions of ourselves? (Sadly, the bad comes with the good.)

      Drinks soon. (Pepsi and water will suffice, given your current gestation.)

  13. Rick January 25, 2012 at 8:08 am #

    Here is my comment to a blogger, just like you said.
    I followed you on Twitter because I thought you were a particularly nice reporter that I met. I was mistaken about your identity, but discovered that you are just as nice as the other Sarah, and more interesting. I’m still here, and will offer advice, comments, or support whenever I think it won’t sound too stalkerish. I’m waiting for your book, which you are destined to write someday. I feel like I’m in on the ground floor of something really big.

    • Sarah Lena January 25, 2012 at 11:23 am #

      @Rick, That is so VERY sweet, and made me smile and blush and hope that maybe you’re right and bigger, better things are coming. Thanks again!

  14. Erica January 25, 2012 at 10:28 am #

    Also delurking to say that I have that exact same relationship with laundry.

  15. Laura K February 7, 2012 at 11:35 pm #

    Stop thinking so much about that number on your scale. Everybody knows that muscle weighs more than fat. Think on how you feel, how your clothes fit. That’s a better gauge. Chin up, honey. You’re fabulous.

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