so i went car shopping. and something amazing happened.

but before i go ahead, i need to say: don’t judge.

background info: i’m a car-shopping virtuoso. daddy used to reliably get car-fever every spring, and us girls would go with him, hungrily inhaling the new car scent. we bought once every five or so years, but it was a guaranteed spring outting, every single year. so i know the drill.

i took a chance about three years ago with a scary looking dealership. they specialized in foreign imports, the high-end kind, and they had just opened up a branch in madison. i was still a waitress at the time, and one day, after i got off work, i stopped in. just thought.. you know, why the hell not?

there was a guy there working. his name was fred. i called him “car guy”. to this day, i can’t tell you his last name.

fred and i hit it off. HARD. and fast. we clicked like we had known each other for years. at first, i thought he was just an amazing salesman and i was just a young, flirtatious buyer who knew that a good attitude, willing smile, and low-cut shirt would win me some favor. but then, about my fourth visit in, i realized he was .. well, and i was.. crushing. HARD.

we dated a bit. flirted a LOT. and had a lot of very deep, very intense conversations. one of them took place at a waffle house on thanksgiving night. it was cold and rainy, as my waffle house experiences often are, and i was wearing a baby blue turtlenecked sweater. i had my long hair pulled back to my nape, and it was curing around my face. and he couldn’t stop telling me how beautiful i was.

that night, as we parted, we hugged. i could feel his pulse. but we never kissed.

and that was the last time we saw eachother.

so, out of habit and curiosity, i stopped in there today. some fresh faced kid approached me on the lot and asked if i was there to see anyone in particular. i said no, not really.. and then he stepped out. “unless, of course, that’s fred,” i said.

“hey, you.” he said. and we just stared at eachother.

fred is now the manager there. he said he had often gone by the restaurant, but i had long since taken off my apron. and while little boy was talking cars to me, fred circled. i felt his eyes on me. he said he loved my hair, but how it wasn’t as red as he remembered. i said i didn’t remember him being so tan. and it was there.. that feeling.. that what if? factor..

little boy got all of my info and then ran to another customer. he was sweet enough.. but he wasn’t fred. i wandered into fred’s (now) corner office and made myself at home. he’s now married, and i’m getting married.. he’s now managing the store he had just started at when i wandered in, i’m now working alongside the people i used to wait on.. we just sat there, looking at eachother.

i asked him, in a business manner, how my situation looked. he asked me about some credit blip i acquired when i was a mere babe, and he said, “i know, it’s weird, isn’t it? someone asking you about your life like that? it’s like they’re looking into your soul.”

“yeah, it kinda is like that,” i said, blushing.

he looked at me. again. THROUGH me. “it’s okay,” he said. “i’ve seen your soul. there’s nothing in there to hide. it’s all pretty amazing.”

car or not, i got what i needed from that dealership.

and i’m dying my hair a more vibrant red in the morning.