“What exactly is Lent? Kind of off on my religious stuff. Today I came in and my boss had a black smudge on her forehead. I thought “What a dumbass and I’m not even going to tell her about it.” I saw some more and It turns out to be some intentional thing. Who knew?” - My FAVORITE cook, who keeps me in stitches all day.

Lent, for those of you who don’t know, is when Jesus went on a crusade because the evil locusts had taken over Gethsemane. They were eating everything in sight, and the people were starving, so Samson came over with his hair and offered to halve a baby in order to save the city. Jesus, however, didn’t really like this idea (who would cut a baby, anyway?!), so he decided to part the Red Sea and drown the locusts. He had all the really cool people who made the cut build a huge boat so THEY wouldn’t be drowned, and they made it out of beaverwood. Then, the little ship was tossed, and the Professor was thrown overboard. Marianne, or Mary Magdalene (as she was sometimes called), made it, though. They were on the ship for forty days, and then they hit ground, where they formed a tribe and voted everyone off but Jesus, who won the million. That is why we celebrate Lent.