Dear Jesus

or

To Whom it May Concern:

Hey.  What’s up?  It’s just been awhile since I hit you up for some chatter, so I thought I’d bend your ear for a bit.  I wonder what you think, when you look down here, and see all of us scurrying about so quickly.  You must have to laugh; you must want to shake us like I always did the ant farms when I was younger.

Anyway, wanted to send you a small thank-you note for this past weekend.  That extra dose of patience that I asked for hit the spot.  I needed it.  And thanks for the last-minute line-filler, since I clearly blanked.  You are one funny dude!  The audience died. 

Also, I know I say it often, but I mean it.. thanks for sending Bryan my way.  It’s not always easy, but he’s trainable, and VERY loyal.  He also gives some mean backrubs.  And he makes me laugh.  Big ole belly laughs.  It’s pretty neat to enjoy someone so thoroughly, every single day.  I know you’re smirking as you read this, because I’m sure we’re in for some ups and downs in the future, but.. you know.. I just kinda love him.

Tell your dad I’m sorry for screaming his name last night, while I’m thinking about it.

I’m really writing for two reasons, so let me just cut to the chase.  I’m sure you’re a very busy hombre, so here’s what I got: one of my best friends, Ronda, is having a baby (her name is Scout; I’m sure you met her awhile back).  Although we are a dramatic group, if you could make this birth a fairly routine and boring one, that’d be greatly appreciated.  Scout has a ton of people ready to love on her, so the sooner (and safer) we can hold her, the happier she’ll be.  And if you could deswell Ronda, that’d be nice too.

My second reason is my best friend, Delle.  She is also having a baby.  She is working in a very scary place, trying to improve society, and I worry for her every day.  She’ll be home soon, but if you could just keep an eye on her and the baby in the meantime, that’d be lovely.  I mean, I do enough worry for the both of us, so maybe you could just keep a little shield over her.. I mean, I’m not sure how you do what you do, but just add that to my wish list.

And if you get bored, send some locusts to South Dakota.  It’ll be a private little joke between us.  Tee hee!

My sister could also stand an “unexpected miracle”, if you have some spare magic laying around.  Doesn’t have to be big; us Brown girls know how to spot magic in the smallest of places.

Well, that’s about it.  I’ll give you a call later to discuss that dead rat of a dress Gwyneth was wearing last night. 

Much love (and tell your daddy I said hi!),

Sarah