That title has nothing to do with anything, by the way.
SO, first and foremost: WHO IS WATCHING AMERICAN HORROR STORY?
Oh, it is sort of dominating my week. Every season I find at least one show that I MUST WATCH LIVE (instead of DVR’d, as we do most shows), and this is it this season. Granted, I am a LOVER OF ALL THINGS HORROR, but this show plays to me in all sorts of ways. Lemme splain:
1. Lots of redheads.
2. Much naked Dylan McDermott, who is holding up quite well in his age, if I do say so.
3. JESSICA FREAKIN’ LANGE, who is just .. wow. Like, really, WOW.
I saw Jessica Lange in a (really horrible) movie called Hush where she played Gwyneth Paltrow’s seriously insane mother-in-law and she really, really disturbed me with how off-the-rocker she can be while still being deadly gorgeous. She has a creep factor of, say, ELEVEN all the while still looking like a beauty queen.
NOW: I will say that a) I’m a bit tired of ole hotty nakey Dylan being played as SUCH a douche. I know we need to demonize him a little to move the plot along, but does his doucheyness know no bounds? and b) Ryan Murphy is CLEARLY borrowing from other classic horror films. Last night could not have been more “borrowed” from The Strangers. And there’s the very obvious Rosemary’s Baby plotline too. And all of it screams of The Others.
Also, I have many theories on the subtext plotline on this. Who are the ghosts? What’s with the babies in jars? If you’re going to have a Bad Girl Closet in your house, wouldn’t you soundproof it?
Sort of Related, but Not Quite: AMC’s The Walking Dead begins its second season on Sunday. There is much drama with this, since the entire writing staff from the first season was fired. No telling how the second season will stand knowing all of this. But that’s another one THAT MUST BE WATCHED LIVE.
On to lighter things.
I didn’t do a lot of cooking this week as I was bombarded by doldrums, but I did make this last night.
A box of lemon cake with a 20oz bottle of Diet 7UP, cooked at 350 for 30-45 minutes. Top with a tub of Lite Cool Whip. I thought it wasn’t bad, but the boys weren’t fans. Which, you know, have your opinions and all that’s fine, but when y’all don’t cook a DAMN THING, shut your mouth and be happy someone LOVES YOU ENOUGH to cook for you!
I know that sounds a bit harsh, because it is. The boys would be perfectly content to drive-thru for every meal for the rest of their lives, but I work HARD to make sure there is real, homecooked meals on the table at dinner. Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to come home from work and then start a NEW task? BUT I COOK BECAUSE I LOVE.
(Also, thanks to Bryan for taking us out to dinner last night when I didn’t want to cook.)
Unrelated: I got a tetanus shot on Tuesday and I feel like I should cut off my arm, like it’s rotting from the inside out.
Last night, we took a trip to our local Halloween mecca and walked the wall of costumes to figure out what everyone wants to be.
Tony has been pretty consistent for the last month or so that he wants to be Batman for Halloween, but Jack has been undecided. Jack’s also at that age where we don’t know if it’s still cool to dress up. Due to custody arrangements, we often don’t get him on Halloween at all, so we’re not involved in all that. But he does remember how INCREDIBLY AWESOME we did him the last Halloween we shared with him:
Anyway, last night he settled on a Zombie Ninja, which is like chocolate and peanut butter in my book. But Bryan and I don’t really do Halloween anymore, so we “didn’t decide” on anything. This is driving Tony BONKERS.
This morning, he AGAIN tried to get me to commit to a costume. “I still don’t know what DaDa’s gonna be,” he lamented. “I wish he be Robin so I can be Batman.” And my heart melted because, AWWWW, how cute, you know? “And Momma! I know what YOU can be!” And I was so excited because he knows that Catwoman is one of my all-time favorite characters in anything (Halle Berry notwithstanding). “Momma, you can be the Batmobile!”
Relegated to a car.
Oh, we have very similar tastes in TV. I am LOVING AHS. I agree that Jessica Lange’s character is one of the creepiest characters I’ve seen in a looooong time. I watched it last night after everyone was asleep and it was raining and it was PERFECT. Although I do agree that some of the plotlines are a little tired, but I feel like overall it’s working so far. I just hope the story continues to develop and doesn’t just stagnate and rely solely on scary moments.
I’m also super excited for Walking Dead!!
@Kristina, The first episode – that married fight between Douche and Connie Britton (I’m sure these characters have names)? Was some of the most raw, honest stuff I’ve seen in a long time. And that’s so way scarier than babies in jars. So I’m with you .. scary’s good, real is better.
@Sarah Lena, yes, there is something going on with babies. If you watch the opening credits, it’s all old-time photgraphs of babies that cuts to the babies in jars, so there is something going on there.
Kristina wants you to read ..Write on Edge – #1
LOVE AMERICAN HORROR STORY!
I will admit the first episode I was cringing again because sex with that weird dude in black costume? Him making out with that young chick that is really an old chick? That was weird for me. But I, like you, love all things horror so I pushed through and I’m in LOVE with it.
@Nik-Nak, Yes, I was pretty creeped out by young/old maid lady too. And the Gimp scene SERIOUSLY gave me a nightmare about two nights later. WHICH MEANS IT’S GOOD.
What I want to know is whether we’re all agreeing that the Gimp WAS NOT Douchey? Right? I mean, she THOUGHT it was, but it SO WASN’T. Right?
I, too, hope that they will eventually give us a little back story. I need to know WHY the house is haunted.
Also? “Don’t make me kill you again.” has to be one of the weirdest/creepiest lines EVER.
Yes, this comment has a lot of caps in it, but this show DOES THAT TO ME (see!)
@Leandra, I’d bet dollars to donuts that Gimp was NOT Douchey McNakey. Since.. wasn’t Douchey downstairs playing with the stove? Or did I make that up?
That part was confusing to me because I couldn’t tell if all that was supposed to be happening at the same time. EITHER WAY, I still don’t think it was him. She put that suit in the garbage on the street. My opinion is that it’s the creepy teenager that’s Douchey McNakey’s patient.
@Leandra, Oooh, had not considered Tate as Gimp. I DO think, however, that Tate is Jessica Lange’s “perfect son”.
@Leandra, Ooooh, Tate as her “perfect son” that is a GREAT idea, I never even considered it.
Kristina wants you to read ..Write on Edge – #1
YAY — someone to talk AHS with!
I agree about the similarities and being played out BUT it also works really good with the story they’re creating so far. I do hope they start explaining a few more of the ghosts/images. Like what is the exact HISTORY of the house? Was it a demonic house to begin with as in Amityville Horror, or did people make it go evil?? I need explanations!
And seriously. Is the baby the Freak’s love child or is it Mr. McD’s baby?
And yes… the extra layer of douche needs to be toned down a bit. We get that he’s a shady character. He’s a real jerk. Now can we move on and let him redeem himself a bit? Because at this point the man has ZERO self control and that is pathetically obnoxious!
Love Jessica Lang but she made me SO mad at what she did to her daughter. Poor kid!! There’s a story behind that woman…
@Nicole, Oh, Jessica owns me. Yes, the Bad Girl Closet did EXACTLY what it was supposed to do – made her into a monster.
Oooh, here’s a question – do we think she knew what would happen with the cupcakes?
I am terrible with horror, so I don’t think I could watch AHS but I do want to watch Walking Dead! I missed last season somehow and I need to catch up or I will be totally lost. I hope the new writers are up to par with the previous, as well!
I have yet to commit to this show and I’m worried about how skerred I might be.
However! I love “Hush.” Jessica Lange as the mother in law? She was CRAZY PANTS.
K wants you to read ..Brothers + sister
Saw that movie “Hush” too and it WAS insane! And I had to laugh at the idea for Halloween costumes!