I get it now.

I mean, I really didn’t need him to get down on one knee.  I didn’t need something on my finger.

But, admittedly, it does feel a bit more .. real now.  There are times when the bling will catch the light, and we’ll both smile.  It’s something that he’s worked hard for, something he did for me.. and I needed that.  I get it.

And I’m not the Bridezilla that’s running around, showing everyone my ring.  But when they DO notice (and they always do), I can’t help but grin like a cheshire cat. 

Enough about that.  I just want to say that I’m officially old.  Oh, I’m sure you’ll argue with me and say I’m just now hitting the prime of my youth and all of that C-R-A-P, but guys.. I’m old.  How do I know?  Because I went to an audition on Friday and had to do a hip-hop combination.  It kicked my ass.  I thought I was going to pass out. (It did my heart good, though, to watch the teenagers around me also struggle.  One boy actually threw up during the process.) But I left feeling DEPLETED.  I was drained.  And I left thinking, “I sure as hell didn’t earn a callback.”

But no, they called me back for more.  Actually, I lied.  They DIDN’T call me back for more.  Delle called to ask me about the proposal and the ring, and then said, “Well you can show it to me at callbacks.”

I said, “Hell no, I won’t.  I wasn’t called back.”

She said, “Oh, yeah, you were.  Maybe I was supposed to call you.  But there’s no dancing.”

Whew, I thought.  NO DANCING.

So I wore my lace cami with a shrug over it (Steph has soo missed my summer wardrobe), heels, and tight jeans.  And I’ll be damned if, not three minutes after we sing the Mayzie line, she sends us in the other room FOR ANOTHER COMBINATION.  I’m too old for this.  I was competing against a 17 year old (who, admittedly, I ADORE and thought I stood not a chance against), and we had to sing during this marathon latin routine.

I don’t know how I did it.  I’m positive I didn’t do it well.  And I left, again, tomato-faced and sweaty.

As Bill said, “I noticed you didn’t state your age when you sang, but it’s okay.. you sure did show it when you danced.”

BUT, on the upshot.. I worked my ass off.  And sweated a lot.  And got my heart rate up.  And really had fun (in a torture yourself masochistic kind of way).  So, who knows.. maybe I’ll take a few classes.  Who teaches adult stuff around here?