There was pudding to be had and sass to deliver.
Didn’t you hate that saying when you were little? Dude, it didn’t matter what the circumstance was, I inevitably chimed a big ole NUH-UH in my head whenever that was spoken to me. I’M THE ONE BEING PUNISHED. HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HURT YOU MORE?
We’re at a fun age with Tony. He’s three and some change (wait .. crap, he’s now three and a half .. I didn’t realize it was JUNE already), so there’s a lot of quirky, fun, imaginative stuff that is a lot of fun about this age.
HOWEVER.
Jesus, kid, could you pick better battles?
For instance: food. I am SO AT MY WITS’ END over food. The child never wants to eat. Ever. EVER. He may snack a bit here and there, but a meal? OH HELL NO YOU CAN’T MAKE ME. I don’t get it. He asked for pizza the other night. Did he eat a single bite? No. The closest thing to a success I’ve had is homemade stroganoff (and it WAS mighty yummy), and because I called it “Kung Fu Panda Noodles”. I BRANDED MY FOOD. And he ate a lot of “noodles” and asked for more. And ate leftovers later. But that is my ONLY success, and all Kung Fu Panda eats is noodles.
Another battle: backtalk. And this is hard for me, you know? We are a quippy, sarcastic household. We value wit and quick-thinking. So what’s to say that “You’re kiyyin me, smaaz!” is less sassy than “Momma, I TOLD YOU SO”? Yeah, I don’t know. Because I laugh at the former and time-out for the latter. So we constantly battle over this.
And what really grinds my gears is that I’ll make threats and THEN HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON THEM. Do you know how much fun stuff I’VE had to miss out on because he’s called my bluff? TONS. Kid, Momma likes to do stuff too. And yet you’re being an asshat, and I cannot take an asshat anywhere.
We missed Kung Fu Panda 2 because he wouldn’t put his shorts on. REALLY? You felt THIS was a stand worth making?
We missed yesterday’s Art Stroll and BBQ because he wouldn’t take ONE bite of his dinner. ONE BITE, KID. Just chew and swallow. Then we could have HOURS of fun!
We don’t spank in my house (no judgement if you do in yours, but we have enough issues with him being physically bullied), but .. part of me wishes we did. Because then the spanking could just be over and we could go do all the fun stuff I’d like Tony to remember about his childhood. I feel like this stupid parenting and stupid disciplining is keeping Tony from having childhood memories.
Because it is CERTAINLY putting a cramp on my style.
This may seem harsh, but our philosophy about small kids and food was essentially “Don’t wanna eat? No problem.” We never tied punishment to eating. Because they WILL get hungry eventually and they WILL eat (as long as the food’s not too weird). Seriously. A child will never sit around and starve him/herself.
This is probably less about food and more about him starting to assert himself as an individual.
Ugh, I KNOW. We don’t spank either and the whole taking-stuff-away philosophy is a REAL bummer and definitely harder on the parents than the kids.
Our current best motivator? “If you don’t listen up, there will be no princess dresses tomorrow.” Madeline lives in her dress-up ball gowns right now, so this? Generally gets us some immediate-type compliance.
bessie.viola wants you to read ..Maddie-isms
The sass thing is killing us right now because frankly, I don’t really care if they talk back to me (within a certain level of appropriateness, of course), but it drives my husband INSANE. Things I would let slide he punishes for. It’s a tricky line.
The worst thing I ever had to do was make good on a threat to leave a birthday party. She sobbed the entire way home — and I did too, I’m not gonna lie — but I had drawn the line and I had to back up.
Man, this parenting gig is tough!
Yep. We do the same things, and sometimes they work immediately, and sometimes they don’t. We also do a few of “Gandma’s remedies:” if you don’t eat that tonight then you’ll see it for breakfast; also soap in the mouth for sassing. (That one works with the boy; the girl asks for seconds. Sigh.)
I had to leave the park yesterday when Jacob hit me for making him share. He was inconsolable for a long time but I had to do it. We do spank and I never thought about how much you might miss out on as a parent if taking away fun things was a punishment! I understand why you don’t do it, but that is a total bummer!
Have you checked out 1-2-3 Magic? I watched the DVD, and while at 2 we haven’t had too many issues, it seems like it should be a useful method.
OH THE EATING. I know. It’s insane. Maggie will eat like a horse one day and then for WEEKS will eat nothing but yogurt (which, at least it’s HEALTHY. I GUESS.) But seriously? She’s ridiculous.
I wish I had some advice for you but really? I’m on the same battlefield. CAN YOU BRING SOME WINE???
Yeah I got nothing. I have the “scary voice of death” but that’s strictly for “child is running out towards street/danger situation”. Oddly enough, it works on both small children & small dogs. (Beaker actually collapses.)
I am curious though, does he express sadness that he’s missed out or disappointed you? What does he say when you tell him you’re bummed that you had to cancel fun plans because he chose not to follow the rules?
Payback is hell………..isn’t it