One of my favorite things in the entire world is (obviously, if we’ve met) FOOD. I love food. I love it indiscriminately, which some argue means I don’t really love FOOD, per se, I really love EATING. But I find the two are infinitely tied to eachother. I can’t really enjoy food without eating it.
Yes, there are the smells and the sights, and presentation is important blah blah blah, but I love LOVE love eating food.
So much so that, when I was younger, I used to fantasize about cartoon food.
You may think I’m nuts; if you do, I contend you’re a LIAR.
Tell me you didn’t drool over Fred Flinstone’s brontosaurus ribs that were brought to his car at that drive-in. Or that you didn’t lust over the Grinch’s Roast Beast. (My personal preference was for that one strawberry presented to Cindy Lou Who at the beginning segment that ended up being the pupil in the Grinch’s eye, but…)
I realized this when I hit my twenties and came to the conclusion that I, in fact, severely dislike carrots. In my mind, growing up watching Bugs Bunny devour carrots with the ferocity that he did.. I had simply imagined them as giant Cheetos. Every time I would eat an ACTUAL carrot, I was disappointed. Hugely so. WHERE WAS THE CHEETO FLAVOR? Stupid carrots. Bugs would never put up with this bullshit.
Other cartoon foods I have lusted over, but found their real-life counterparts lackluster:
- The beer on The Simpsons – in my mind, it’s cream soda with a creamy head
- Scooby Snacks – .. I’m not sure I need to explain this one, but suffice it to say: eww
- Spongebob’s Krabby Patties – I just never imagined they’d look this like when I held them
- The pizza on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – I have never eaten pizza as good as they found in a freaking sewer
- Winne the Pooh’s honey pot – HOW DOES IT NOT MAKE HIM STICKY TO EAT IT WITH HIS FINGERS?
Alright, come clean. What cartoon food have you lusted over?