Yesterday, the internet was absolutely ablaze with Ricky Gervais. I was totally fine with this 1) because I love him and I thought he was getting some great recognition and 2) he made me SAD I didn’t watch the Golden Globes.
Y’all, I haven’t REGRETTED missing an awards show since .. maybe since I was twelve and I had to catch the MTV Video Music Awards on repeat. And now that I’m an active consumer, I think Ricky Gervais did his job to the advertisers and the network.
HOWEVER.
I just can’t get behind some of the backlash he’s getting. I knew the celebs would be offended, but, hell. Like I care. They make more money than I’ll ever dream of seeing. But where I lose touch is where the viewers cared.
I love Liz at Mom101. She’s one of the few voices on the internet that I feel really embodies smart – witty – calm – level-headed – and wickedly funny. But she wrote yesterday how she felt Gervais was “mean” and described him as almost a bully. I actually stopped and went back to read some of the transcripts and .. I don’t know. I just don’t see it.
He basically just said what we’ve all said around the water coolers/blogs/tabloids/etc. And he said it to their face.
Since when did we equate being “mean” with being “honest”?
Did he push the envelope? Yes. Did he say some things that made even me gasp? Yes. Did I agree with everything he said? YES. (C’mon, really? The Tourist?) Not only did I NOT think he was out of line, I thought he was doing the job he was hired to do. And doing it really, really well.
The conversation carried over last night onto Twitter, where a DM conversation between several folks caught me wrong. We were all discussing how we felt about a post that was written, but we were scared to say anything other than “LOL!” and “Love you!” online.
“I don’t like that,” I said. “Community is good, but only if it’s honest. Otherwise, it’s a cult.”
While I typically try and avoid conflict online — fighting online is pointless — I shouldn’t be censoring myself or my opinions. Trolling is one thing; a meaningful dialogue or just an opposing point of view is not. I allow it on my blog from other commenters .. why wouldn’t I offer it back?
So here I am. And while I completely agree with Liz’s ultimate hope — “Is 2011 the year of kindness?” — I don’t think we should go about through dishonesty or coddling. So I’m going to be a bit more firm this year. I started small, presenting my position on a post earlier this week regarding Antoine Dodson. Sure, it’s probably not a groundbreaking position, but it’s one I’d never voiced for fear I’d be called “MEAN”.
We love the internet and social media and media in general for its ability to lend everyone a voice. That’s a powerful thing, and it comes with a lot of responsibility. Part of that responsibility is not just all flowers and sunshine, sometimes it is being honest with ourselves and others about how we feel.
For instance, I think I’ve lost the bubble on this post. Therefore I am cutting it off NOW.
Do you know why I was offended?
BECAUSE I ADORED THE TOURIST. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Otherwise – on to your real content? I like people to be nice. I try to always be nice except in the company of people I trust as a means to vent. Do I think it’s wrong to be different from me? No. But I choose to be nice, not because I don’t want people to think I’m mean, but because I just WANT TO BE NICE. So, I agree with you in that I want people to not fake being nice just b/c they’re scared of being mean. BUT – sometimes people just want to be nice. Just because it makes them feel less yucky inside.
But yeah – I totally still loved Ricky Gervais when he wasn’t making fun of the Tourist because – as I stated proudly – I really liked it. Mainly just because he’s funny. I mean…that’s really all I care about. If you make me laugh (and truthfully – he’s really self-depracating a lot too so that makes me take his jabs lighter b/c I know he’s that hard on himself) then you’re A OK in my book.
I have always thought that people saying things behind my back and not to my face was a sign of respect. I know I’m an abrasive, assertive personality, so I’m probably obnoxious to a lot of people. Out of respect to my feelings, (and fear for their lives) people usually don’t say this to my face. I’m fine with that.
Where I think we should be more honest is if someone does something to offend us. Again, being somewhat “abrasive” I say what I think, and that might hurt your feelings. OR you could have completely misread what I said, and I’d like the opportunity to clarify. So, in those instances, honesty can be a good thing.
Being honest for the sake of being intentionally hurtful is usually not ok, unless you’re kicking it intervention style. Also, what Ricky did is stupid. He WAS funny, but he also insulted the president of the organization. Unless they have a personal friendship (which I doubt) he probably will not work much in the future…
I’m a fan of not being nice but also of trying to have tact while being honest. But people’s feelings will get hurt. And I think it happens more now that people are not around annoying people as often as in the past – we can just more easily hide in our houses and behind our technology.
(Don’t know who this Ricky guy is or what the Golden Globes are for, so my comment is unrelated to that.)
I generally think he’s funny and I’m all about snark and making fun of celebrtities BUT he was in poor taste. It’s all about knowing how to behave and when things are appropriate. Comedy club? Hanging with friends? Blog? Your own performance? Roast? ALL times when you can say whatever you want.
Black tie awards show where people are being honored? Formal occasion? Host? Master of cereemonies? Not appropriate. In those situations, charming is what you’re going for.
And yes, some of his words we’re funny, but even those? His delivery was mean.
And his whole ending with thank God I’m an atheist? Totally uncalled for.
Stupid typing on iPad messing up words!
I thought Ricky was HILARIOUS. I’m unsure of why everyone was so shocked by what he did; the reason the Globes asked him back was BECAUSE he took pot shots at people last year, and the ratings went up. They even showed his previous insults in the commercial teasers!
Also, no one should be surprised because that is EXACTLY what Ricky does – watch any of his stand up. He’s abrasive and to the point and rude.
Also, as you stated, everything he said was true.
And as for what he said about God at the end, I don’t think Christians should be offended by that. Nothing he said in the statement made me less of a Christian or changed my ways. He was just being silly, provocative Ricky Gervais.
And here’s where I go…. Who’s Ricky Gervais?
One thing we agree on- respectful disagreement is always ok. Here or at my place. I guess I’m with Amy up there- context is everything. I can’t imagine going somewhere To be honored and instead being crapped on. In a comedy club, it might have played. Though I still think his delivery was off.