And not even in a GOOD way. (Which, hey! Still available, emotionally-aloof millionaires!)
I’ve mentioned how we’re poor, right? Like, eleventy hundred times or something.
So I was slightly APESHIT when I got a free coupon in an email for a FREE PAIR OF PANTS FROM GAP. Dude, that’s like the lottery around these parts! When you have days where you’re seriously balancing food and/or utilities .. and I know MANY of y’all get this .. getting a coupon for a FREE pair of PANTS from a store like THE GAP was seriously a pick-me-up I needed.
It was part of their promotion for their new “fits” of pants .. the Modern Boot, the Curvy, the Perfect Trouser, and the Really Skinny. Try on a black pair and whichever fits you best .. take home! (Good August 16-22.)
Our only Gap in town is now 20 minutes away, which is not a big deal in most cities, I know, but .. that’s GAS. And have I mentioned that we’re poor? So I planned for Tony to go down for a nap, and I’d abscond to our outdoor shopping extravaganza.
It was approximately A MILLION DEGREES outside. I wasn’t dressed to the nines; I was wearing denim capris and an Alabama tshirt. Roll Tide. And flip flops. I did not give the appearance that I had any money. Cause .. I don’t.
I couldn’t get ANY employee to give me the time of day to ask about the coupon .. I’m a stickler for expiration dates, “certain exclusions may apply”, all that jazz. And I hate spending time shopping. That’s just me. So no one would talk to me, and that’s cool, so I grabbed a black pair of each fit and let myself into the dressing area.
Well — SURPRISE — the Curvy worked best for me. I was pretty stoked because 1) FREE PANTS and 2) I really DID like the way they fit. The material had a touch of stretch, the cut left no gap in my waistband when I bent over, and I could see myself wearing these pants with heels and/or flats.
When I approached the counter, the tall gentleman asked if I was ready to check out.
“Well,” I said, mentally preparing myself for anything, “I just need to make sure that this coupon is still good. And applies to these pants.”
He looked it over and declared it good. And on these pants, no less.
He started typing .. look, I worked in retail, and I know what A BITCH coupons can be .. and then he paused. “Let me try this again,” he said and typed. He paused and then looked at me.
“This coupon is used,” he said.
“I’m sorry?” I asked. Of all the things I was prepared for, I wasn’t prepared for this.
“This coupon has already been used,” he said. And he RIPPED IT UP IN FRONT OF ME.
I just sat there. Dumbfounded is a good word. Jaw open. And a little bit EMBARRASSED.
Granted, there were MAYBE two other people in the store. We’re not talking about massive public humiliation, but still.
I felt that super hot feeling behind your eyes when you know you’re about to lose it, so I thanked him (I THANKED HIM) and left the store.
Sarah of three months ago would’ve soothed herself by buying something else. But Today Sarah has NO MONEY. So instead I went into a beauty store and put on the most expensive perfume I could find. I could at least SMELL wealthy, I thought.
I came home and tried to tell Bryan the story of why I hadn’t come home with any pants (seriously, I had been acting like these free pants were friggin’ magic pants delivered by Santa Claus himself), but I started to tear up and couldn’t get through it.
I .. I worked in retail. And, frankly, I worked in a higher end retail store than THE FREAKIN’ GAP. And if a customer came in, presented an EMAIL coupon, and we had an issue with the coupon? We’d make it work. Because that’s what customer service IS. I’m not even demanding free stuff that is uncalled for .. THE COUPON WAS EMAILED TO ME DIRECTLY FOR A FREE PAIR OF PANTS.
But whatever. I’m more than pleased to not shop there in the foreseeable future. It helps that I don’t have any money to shop there anyway, but this..? Will not be soon forgotten.