Dear Precious Little Baby Girl,
I am sorry for your circumstance.
Please grow to be a better person than your father.
The morning was so nice. Like, really, really nice. Had a great meeting with my freelance gig, cut a few spots, made my way to the office. Got tons done, all my junk packed and loaded in the car, and I left work at 5 feeling like, you know, I was in a good place.
Driving to pick up Tony, that all changed.
About two or three miles out from Tony’s daycare, I noticed a purple SUV tailing me. I never in a million years suspected they were following me, since I am not ACTUALLY a ninja (although I play one on tv). I merely thought, “Oh, look, they’re going the same way I am, albeit it very, very close to my rear bumper.”
When we both pulled into daycare, again, I thought nothing of it. It was five o’clock. It’s a busy time for child pick-up.
When they pulled in next to me, blocking my car door with their vehicle, I thought little of it. People get busy, people don’t notice that what they do affects others. I merely shrugged from inside my car and pointed, half-smiling, to the fact that they’d blocked me in.
That’s when they rolled their windows down and started yelling at me.
“YOU AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE. YOU GONNA SIT RIGHT HERE TILL THE POH-LEESE COME AND THEY GONNA WRITE YOU A CITATION OR SOMETHIN’ CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU RAN THAT RED LIGHT AND TRIED TO HIT US. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!”
Um, sorry?
“DON’T PRETEND YOU DIN’T KNOW CAUSE YOU DID YOU SAW US DRIVING AND YOU TRIED TO HIT US AND THE POHLEESE IS ON THEIR WAY AND YOU AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE.”
Yeah, um, guys, I think you’ve got the wrong gal. Also, I’m here to pick up my child. Take my tag number, do what you feel you have to do, but I’m going to get my baby now.
“YOU KNOW WE GOT A BABY IN HERE TOO AND YOU WAS TRYIN’ TO HIT HER WIT YOUR CAR!”
Yeah. Okay. Going in now.
I shook off the insanity as I slipped the car door open as little as I could and slid out, then made my way in to the daycare. Hindsight what it is and all, I should’ve asked for help then. I should’ve. I didn’t.
I got Tony and we beebopped around, like always, saying goodbye to the fish and to the water fountain and to every other object a two year old says goodbye to on the way out the door.
And outside, the purple SUV was gone. See? I did the right thing by walking away.
I picked Tony up and we looked for the sun (no) and the moon (no) and birds (heard ‘em), and then I strapped him in. I got in my side of the car and started my engine, and before I knew what was happening, a purple SUV pulled in behind me, so close that I felt his bumper on mine.
I was scared, and I’d be lying to say otherwise. But I was also MAD.
Hindsight what it is and all, I should NOT have approached his car. BUT BY GOD, I DID.
What do you think you need from me?
“WE DONE TOLD YOU YOU AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE TILL THE POH-LEESE GET HERE AND THEY ON DERE WAY SO I AIN’T LETTIN’ YOU LEAVE. WE GONNA GET YOU.”
I see the baby in the back. A sweet, cherubic face, sleeping through all of this. There is some mercy in this story.
Is this REALLY the best thing you have to do with your time today?
“I GOT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD AND YOU AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE. YOU TRIED TO HIT US AND THE POH-LEESE GONNA SETTLE THIS.”
We both have babies. Let’s get them home and move on, hm?
“NO, YOU AIN’T LEAVING. I AIN’T LETTING YOU LEAVE.”
I go back to my car and slink in the front seat, unsure of what to do. I call Bryan, who is OF COURSE out of town, and I begin to cry as I tell him what’s going on. He tells me to call the police, and I say they already have, and he says Sarah, they’re probably LYING and you need to call them.
I hang up with him and call 911. The lady calmly took my information and informed me that, no, they did not have a request for a squad car to my location. So she would send one immediately and would stay on the line with me until one arrived. But I was by no means to get out of my car again.
I saw a squad car enter the parking lot so I thanked her and hung up. I called Bryan back and said that there was a cop present now and he says I know, I called the center and they sent the assigned one over. (I LOVE OUR DAYCARE. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT LATELY?)
I get out and talk to the cop, no longer trying to play strong. I sob that these men won’t let me leave, and they’ve got me terrified and I have a child in the car and I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT.
Then they’re out of the car and yelling at me again so I head back to the car and sit in there, windows up, trying to convince my empath of a son that, no, Mommy’s fine and, no, we can’t go home yet. Just a little longer. I’m so sorry, baby.
I hear the yelling go on and on and then the second responder, the one I had requested, shows up. He comes to my car immediately and calms me down, and while the window is down I hear them yelling again that I was trying to kill them. Because they were black. I stopped mid-sentence, mouth agape, at this. The cop shook his head. “Don’t listen to that, ma’am; they’re blowing this all out of proportion. We’re letting them get some steam out.”
“SHE WAS AT A DEAD STOP AND WE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION AND SHE SAW WE WAS BLACK AND SHE SLAMMED ON HER GAS PEDAL AND TRIED TO HIT US AND SHE DIDN’T EVEN SAY SHE WAS SORRY!”
Jesus, I say. Really?
The cop shook his head again. “Take some deep breaths, ma’am.”
Still screaming. So much yelling. Both men, yelling at the cops, who are calmly informing them that what THEY did is a chargeable offense and what THEY’RE doing is wrong and I owe them nothing and, no, a citizen’s arrest doesn’t work that way and I’m crying and the baby’s crying and OH MY GOD THIS ALL SUCKS SO HARD.
The staff at our daycare came out periodically to check on us, but JESUS, how embarrassing.
The cop comes back over. “Ma’am, we’re making them leave. And I’m going to stand here and talk to you and calm you down for about ten minutes after they’ve left the premises. Do you need us to call anyone for you?”
Who? Who would you call? Yes, I’d like you to call Dog the Bounty Hunter. Is he available? Cause I need him at my house, STAT. Hell, I’ll even take Johnny Weir at this point.
I take deep breaths and say the biggest lie of the day, even bigger than SHE TRIED TO KILL US AND MY BABY BECAUSE WE’RE BLACK: I say, “I’m fine.”
I drove around for an hour before I felt comfortable pulling into any driveway. And I was still a nervous wreck.
And now, although I’m not scared any more, I’m antsy. Any noise in the house catches my ear. The baby’s not sleeping well. Part of me wants to take a Xanax to sleep, the better part of me knows I need to be alert tonight.
Growing up, I never ever worried about defending myself. I knew I could. I knew I was smart enough and strong enough to do so. But now? I’m not defending me, and I realized today how incredibly inept I am at it. I went home and priced tasers. I’m debating carrying pepper spray. I’m wondering if any dojos around here teach MMA or at least a self-defense class.
Because, today, I was made a victim. And I promise: NEVER A-FUCKIN-GAIN.
Holy shit! I’m SO sorry you went through this today – just awful.
*biggest, fattest, squooshiest hugs*
Oh. My. I’ll admit, I got scared reading your post, even though I hoped that everything turned out (mostly) safe since you were blogging. Why are there such nut-cases around? Why are there such bullies? I’m very surprised they weren’t full of more than crap. That poor bitty baby; it must have been hard to watch her drive away, too, and wonder what will become of her. Glad you & the little guy are safe at home. Tomorrow will be good day to hide at home & snuggle, if you can. And, yeah, get a Taser & training.
Holy crap and then some!!! I’m so sorry and wow, I would be SO freaked out after that.
Wow, thats SO scary.
As someone who DOES box and take MMA style training, there is nothing more empowering than KNOWING you know HOW to hurt someone if you have to.
Holy CRAP. What an awful ordeal! I’m shaking on your behalf.
I take kickboxing (for cardio, not self-defense), and I highly doubt that I could bust out a roundhouse on someone who was obviously both physically intimidating and highly deluded. Definitely do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel safe again, but remember that you did the right thing by calling the police and letting them deal with your aggressors. The LAST thing you’d want to do is escalate the situation, particularly with wee ones around.
You might’ve felt like a victim, but you (and Bryan!) were actually the heroes of that story. You got the right people involved, you took safe action, and you kept yourself and your family protected.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this since I read the post earlier this morning. SO BIZARRE. SO FREAKY. I think I would have reacted just as you did at every stage. I’m so sorry. I hope you have the pleasantest experience possible when you next leave the house.
How truly frightening. My heart skipped a couple beats just reading this. I too was a victim once, working at a Subway restaurant at the time when it was held up at gunpoint. I remember at the time making the same statement… NEVER AGAIN. My thoughts and prayers are with you for some peace
Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this. I’m so sorry that this happened to you – how absolutely ridiculous! You handled yourself very well – I’m proud of you. This made me think about what I should be doing to protect myself too – thanks for spreading the awareness.
Hugs. Wishing you & your sweet boy peace… and praying for that baby girl.
bessie.viola´s last blog ..adult as opportunity
WOW! Really gotta wonder about the crazies in purple SUVs. Glad everything turned out ok.
I’m kinda angry for you that the police didn’t do more. I’m certainly not a lawyer, but that sounds like false imprisonment to me.
I’m terrified, horrified, and pissed off beyond belief on your behalf after reading that. I saw some tweets yesterday but didn’t know what the story was. I am so sorry you had to go through that. As women, we tend to want to keep things nice and calm so I would have likely done the same thing you did. I’m so glad the police were helpful and you were all okay. Mental illness (because I can’t imagine another reason these folks would behave that way) can be such a scary thing. I hope today is uneventful but I’m sure you’ll be extra alert for awhile when going to pick your little guy up. Take care of you (and him of course).
I saw some of this on Twitter and it didn’t sound good but laid out like this it’s terrifying! I’m so glad things ended without violence but I’m sorry that they were able to scare you.
My stomach is in my throat.
First, I’m so glad you’re OK. Second, you handled that like a freaking champ. I’m in awe of your awesomeness, really.
We’re thinking of you, lady.
(WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DO THAT? GOD.)
That is truly awful. It sucks how people can make you feel like that so quickly – and especially in front of a child.
So glad to hear you’re ok. I’m shaking just thinking about a similar incident that happened to me a few years ago and my thoughts are with you as you recover from this horrible ordeal.
JESUS GOD I had no idea the details! Poor Tony and of course poor you but the children OMG. That poor little girl in the back seat.
WHY couldn’t they be chared with harassment or something? My GOD. SO GLAD YOU’RE BOTH OKAY.
samantha jo campen´s last blog ..Parent: 1 Child: 0
Oh my holy hell.
HOLY HELL.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. GEEZUZ. Some people are so. effed. up.
One time, I got purse-snatched and instead of just, doing I don’t know what, I CHASED AFTER HIM ON FOOT (TFS.) When crazy shit like that happens, you really don’t know WHAT to do. Hindsight can suck it. You did better than fine.
Thinking of you.
SHIT!!!
I’m glad that it all worked out and even more relieved that it wasn’t any worse.
I’m so happy to hear that you are home and safe.
Holy mother of God. Are you EFFING SERIOUS? You handled the whole thing amazingly well, I promise you. I don’t even know what I would do… wow. I just can’t believe there are such scumbag people in the world. argh.
I’m new here (via Jennie!), and as such, don’t know you very well, but it seems to me you handled an (all caps!) INSANE situation with grace and strength. I’m just sorry you had to handle it at all.
As a proud, big, black woman, the way they handled that situation offends the hell out of me! (or at least, the way they handled the situation that they cooked up in their half-baked brains.) What the hell?
I am so proud of the heritage and influence my race has had on this country, but I swear to God, I am more than sick of people that shame and stereotype the rest of us!
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that, and I feel even worse for both of those innocent babies.
Glad you’re all okay.
How unbelievably awful and terrifying. I am so sorry you went through that.
I understand wanting to protect yourself. I had an intruder at my home a few months ago and as a single gal, it scared the crap out of me. I think wanting to be strong and knowing how to defend yourself is plain old common sense. If I were in HSV, I’d be signing up for MMA with you. Stay strong!
Rougeneck´s last blog ..Apparently I Have to Stop Impersonating Lady Gaga
This is insane! What is wrong with our city lately?! UAH is having a free ladies self defense class soon. The info is on the webpage. After what happened at our school I’ve been a little antsy too. My brother in Birmingham bought this high range pepper spray that is also green. Not only do you temporarily blind the guy, but you make him easy for the cops to pick up later. I’m glad you’re okay.
Damn straight! Where the hell is Johnny Weir when you need him?? Seriously, though, that is beyond freaky and bizarre, and THAT’s why it’s so scary. No, you didn’t get beaten (Thank God), but scared? Yes. Because, well, WTH?? People are crazy, and when you see it face to face? Yes, it will scare the shit out of you.
I’m glad you’re okay. And kids are resilient, so little Tony will be fine. He worries for his momma, and when he knows you’re okay again, he’ll be okay, too. [[hugs]]
I’m so glad that you called the police. That is some really scary shit. Especially with a baby in the car.