November 3, 2009
This was originally posted at our NOLA 2010 training blog. I am being lazy tonight.
I am TRYING not to beat myself up today, but in reality? I’m getting WORSE at pacing myself.
Today, I got up and ran a 5K followed by a one mile fun run. I considered today my long run. It was cold, windy, and rainy through the first mile of the 5K, but then it ended up being sunny and crisp for the rest of the day.
First off, I couldn’t find my shoes while getting ready this morning. My house was still asleep, and here I am, trying to rustle up my damn shoes. And I’LL BE DURNED if I’m going to wake my husband to ask him, mostly because I give him a rash of shit every time he can’t find something and needs help. And I? Am the ORGANIZED one, so where in the hell are my shoes?
(They were in the garage. Don’t ask.)
I didn’t have time to eat or drink anything before making my way to the starting point, but I thought I’d be fine. I ran the first mile, non-stop, and made an okay pace of 11:30, which I was actually quite pleased with. THEN I HAD TO POO. WTF, stomach?! No food that morning, and you want to drop the kids off at the pool in the middle of a sanctioned race? It’s only three frickin’ miles, so OF COURSE there were no port-a-potties. So I spent the second mile turtling, praying to all deities in (or not in, quite frankly) existance that I would NOT shit my pants since I was only wearing those compression/cold-weather tights and I’m pretty sure that the outline of a turd would be pretty obvious.
By the third mile, my stomach had settled slightly, but we came up on some protestors. For whatever reason, ANY race downtown in my city runs right by the women’s clinic, which, you know, fine.. whatever.. it also runs right by the library, but I don’t see any illiterates with picture-picket signs out there, shouting their agenda at me, you know? And this one woman, as I’m trotting by, starts spouting to me how precious each child is and should I repent for my sins and whatnot, and all I could do was look at her and say, “But I was lucky enough to make the buy-one-get-one-free deal on MY abortion, and who can pass up a good BOGO?” And then I was powered by the force of evil and was able to haul ass for half a mile.
But even evil doesn’t like running, so I was walking not long thereafter. Total time for the 4.1 miles: 55:00.
It didn’t help that this run was a Halloween run, so I got my ass kicked by:
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A giant sequined glove
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Frankenstein
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Mario and Luigi, as chased by
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Wario and Donkey Kong
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a Giant Wedge of Cheese
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WOMEN WITH STROLLERS
I got home, forlorn and beaten, and took some ibuprofen for my hips (cause I’m eighty). And I wondered why I’m doing this.
I found an article online about the five most frequently asked questions about 5Ks, and the last question was What if I’m the last one to finish?
The answer was, “You won’t be. But let’s say that even if you are, you can still congratulate yourself on finishing ahead of the thousands in your city who stayed home and did nothing that morning.”
So I registered for my next race on 11/14. One 5K at a time.
11:01 pm
You are AWESOME.
Seriously, rock star. I am SO PROUD OF YOU. You totally finished ahead of me, since I slept in that morning.
Keep it up! You’re inspiring me!
bessie.viola´s last blog ..excerpted