Alternate Title: But That Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Need it Now
Awhile back, I read a tweet from a favorite blogger of mine.. one of those big-name, professional, getting-paid-for-it mommybloggers.. that said, basically, that this whole economy would need to pick it up because otherwise, well, she’d have to go get one of those job thingies.
I won’t link to it (or her) here because, really, I love this blogger. She’s an AMAZING writer and her stuff makes me cry and what have you, but that tweet? That lone 140 characters? Had me seeing red.
See, because, um, I work. I have to have one of those job thingies.
This week, I got two of them.
We’ve tried.. very hard.. to avoid needing additional employment. But as the bills mounted, the calls kept coming, and the letters turned from friendly reminders to COLORED PAPER.. well, it was unavoidable. One of us needed to get a second job.
I volunteered.
Bryan is really good about taking odd jobs as they come up, and he’s even fortunate enough that they pay him to fulfill his hobby. He’s great with technical aspects of the stage; he often gets paid very well to execute them. But we’re in a lull with those odd jobs right now. We don’t have much on the horizon. And my job doesn’t really offer those same perks.
So I went and got a second job.
The interview was humiliating. The young girl, who was easily my junior, asked, “Do you have another job right now?” I nodded. “Oh, well, do you mind my asking where you work?” The Big Company, I responded. “OH,” she said, astounded. “You have.. um.. a big fancy real job, then.”
I stared at her, unable to contain my exhaustion and shame. “The Big Company employs a janitorial staff too,” I muttered. “We are not all rocket engineers and scientists. Some of us are poor.”
I am torn about this. So, yes, part of me is elated that we’ll finally have MONEY, and not like crazy mad money where we go buy big tvs and stupid equipment and other nouveau riche splurges. More like money to, you know, eat. Get gas. Buy foot orthotics.
The other part of me is absolutely distraught at what this means sacrificing. On a VERY selfish front, I had taken a part in a local production of You Can’t Take it With You, one where I was lucky enough to be playing the sister to MY sister, a wife to my Best Guy Ever, and was sharing the stage with my BFF Ra. The Director and Assistant Director are also lifetime members of the Coven. Rehearsals just had BOTTLES OF WINE written all over them. And the cast? A dream cast. A good number of them I had worked with before in various outlets and I was thrilled to be a part of it.
Because I had to bow out in such a last-minute fashion, I offered to attend a read-thru last night, just so a “voice” was heard for the part. And the big epiphany at the end.. the last hurrah.. where Grandpa was advising the strait-laced Kirby to just relax and enjoy life because money? Well, you can’t take it with you. It’s just not worth the exhaustion and discomfort. I stifled back sobs as I looked around the room and realized what I was giving up. Later, when the Director hugged me, she whispered, “It’s okay, you’ll be okay, we’ll all be okay. We do what we have to do,” and I fought back tears. I don’t want to be a grown-up, I was screaming inside. I want to have fun with you guys. I want to play too.
But I just couldn’t do it. While I could conceivably schedule my second job’s hours around rehearsal, that means I’d see my baby NEVER. And that’s not okay. My family should not have to suffer for me. And yes, before you ask, I’ve already looked at THAT option. Yes, THAT one too. Believe me, I’ve tried them all.
So for those of you reading who have this believe.. as I did, for a long time.. that bloggers who write are getting some perks or kickbacks for it and lead very posh lifestyles, let me dispell that for you: it ain’t true. We are real people, with real woes, and real concerns.
We just like to bitch and moan in bold italics.
I hear you sister. I know, and I’m so sorry. Being a grow-up SUCKS.
samantha jo campen´s last blog ..Brief conversation
Also? Dying to know who the blogger is
samantha jo campen´s last blog ..Brief conversation
Im really sorry that things have gotten to this point for your family. While Im not being forced back to work I have been trying to refi the house to try and pad us a little better each month only to find out our house appraised for LESS THAN WE PAID FOR IT- and we’ve put 20k into it so far(roof and siding)…… o.u.c.h.
I hope you dont have to keep the 2nd job for a long time and you can get back to acting! Giving up a part of yourself and your time with your family for food is ass- the economy had better get over itself!
Christina´s last blog ..Score
Tears…
Ugh. I’m so sorry that you’re having to do this right now. We’re staring down the same barrel, and it’s scary and sucky and awful.
bessie.viola´s last blog ..seventeen months
I’m glad you found something but sorry that you had to.
Michelle Smiles´s last blog ..How to get Michelle to eat anything?
Awwww damn.
Like total selfish I wanted to work with you when I’m not stuck in a cave hiding in terror from passing storms, and like damn, sorry you had to do this.
Damn.
Michael´s last blog ..Photographic Proof
Let me know if there’s anything I can help with. I can watch Tony, for instance?
Stephanie´s last blog ..An Artistic Garden…
I think I might have seen the same twit?tweet? whatever, and I honestly haven’t visited that blog anymore I was so upset. If it is the same thing the one I read said something to the tune of whoring herself out to the man.
I whore myself out to “the Man” everyday for my family and I’m proud of it. You should be proud of yourself too!
Penny´s last blog ..threes
Oh, Sarah… kudos to you for doing what you have to do to take care of your family. Your love for them just shines brighter when you take away from YOU for them. Tony won’t remember that sometimes Mommy had to work late… Tony WILL always remember that his Mommy has loved him unconditionally and provided for him in every way possible… and that his Mom ROCKS!
So, I know it’ll be hard sometimes, but it will so payoff in the end!!! (And I’ll volunteer to keep that little man anytime, too, if you and your baby Daddy need a date!
Hang in there. I’m sorry times are rough right now. I’ve had two jobs before and it’s no fun. I consider myself blessed that I don’t have to do that now, but I assure you I remember the struggle. Hang in there…
I’m so sorry for the hard choices you are being forced to make. Not fair. You are making a big sacrifice for your family’s well being. Hang in there.
Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..What’s Your Bar Name?
Girl, you are SuperWoman and I am in total awe. I don’t know very many people who could do what you do – yes, even with their back up against the wall. That sucks, and I’m sorry it’s happening to you. Please let me know what I can do to help. Lunch on me is definitely in order to hash it out! I miss seeing you guys…
BookMamma´s last blog ..Veggie Tales
I rarely read other blogs any more or write on my either for that matter. But wow, I love the layout you have now.
Anyway, not that you mention politics, but I love how so many are blaming Obama for this stuff. Yeah, ~7 months in and it’s all him. It’s Bush… and Clinton. Both of them. And the big phat wad money folks at the top squeezing for more.
I’d love to have me’s a job. Christina got laid off and was lucky enough to get 4 weeks of continued pay. She then found and started her first day at a new job the day before her last pay check from previous arrived. Whew. But me? Still looking. I’m gonna end up stocking shelves at Wal-Mart at 3am. People keep telling me I don’t have to be that desperate but um, yeah… I’m beginning to think I do. Forget pride, we need the money.
Geoff´s last blog ..Joe Flirt – Beware of Dog
Well, your part time job folks haven’t even called me back for an interview. I think I thought about the “personality test” questions a bit too much. Is the customer always right if they’re shoplifting or if they strike me with a sale item? So that answer had to be no.
Sigh. Soldier on, my friend. Soldier on.