“Pink is my signature color.”
- Shelby, “Steel Magnolias”

So here’s the dilemma.

It’s very hard for me to be excited about my upcoming wedding.

Why, you may ask?

Because I feel incredibly vain.

I know.  It’s stupid.  And I’ve tried to get over it.  But I feel like the spoiled little Bridezilla whenever I’m asked my opinion on ANYTHING. 

First, let’s start with the man.  I’m so incredibly blessed to have found him.

I feel very, very lucky to be having a huge party with people I love around me.  I feel even more special when it’s being held in the Grand Hall, a place I’d loved for many years and often thought about celebrating my reception in.  Throw in the fact that I’m wearing this grand dress, a perfect dress, FOR JUST ONE NIGHT and I feel very silly.  Very lavish indeed.  And unnecessarily so.

I feel horrible asking anyone to do anything as part of my wedding, because it feels so damn self-serving.  “Come buy a dress for a bazillion dollars to celebrate me and how fantastic I am.”  See?  It sounds awful.  Feels awful.

How should they wear their hair?  I don’t know; it’s THEIR hair.  They know how it looks best.  What shoes?  I don’t know; what kind of shoes do you like?  Do you want a lined envelope with the invitations? 

I’m the thrift store girl.  I’m not sure I deserve all of this.

People all around me are having real events.  Real, life-changing events.  Babies are being born.  They’re getting fantastic jobs.  They’re buying property.  While this is a great event for ME, and it feels wonderful to ME, I just feel guilty demanding everyone else join in.

I’m a hippie at heart.