Last night, on NBC’s The Biggest Loser: Couples, the remaining four contestants were “motivated” by watching their submittal tapes and their preliminary interviews.  Because, believe me, you would not BELIEVE how different they all look after having lost TONS of weight.  And nothing motivates you more to keep going than to see how far you’ve come.

I had sort of the same thing (in some aspects) the other day.

I’m MAJORLY bummed about the “loss” of our house.  Granted, it was our choice to not extend the offer, but I had tons of fantasies swimming in my head regarding that monstrous mansion.  Three bathrooms, people.. THREE.  Four bedrooms.  A GARAGE.  Oh, even now, it makes me weep to know we will not live there.

This last weekend, our DVD player bit the dust.  Since we needed a new one anyway, Bryan decided to splurge a little and get a DVD recorder.  The Boy’s favorite pasttime EVER is to watch old videos that we’ve made, so we all gathered around the tube on Saturday night to watch some old footage.

This had a positive and a negative side. 

Positive?  God, how far we’ve come.  We watched video of RIGHT when Bryan moved in with me, when times were incredibly tough.  We were both broke all the time.  I sometimes look at our income at that time and I’m not sure how we got by.  I remember there being a lot of times when I had to sacrifice gas for food or vice versa.  Bryan was teaching, was gone 95% of the time, and I was overworked and underpaid.

But you know what?  We were happy.

Now we’re looking at moving into a much bigger house (how did we ever manage in a 900 square foot house? but we did.), we can afford to do things like buy a DVD player and daycare, and we’re both in upwardly mobile careers.  It’s amazing, the amount of change in that small time period.

The negative side?  MY ASS.

Okay, seriously.  So I was watching this one video, with The Boy as the cameraman, and he inadvertantly got a very tight shot of my ass.  And while I remember watching that same footage the day-of and thinking, “HOLY HELL, SARAH.. GOT TO DIET NOW,”, now I’m all like, “I WAS SO SKINNY.  WHY AM I SO FAT NOW?”

And it makes me think, this slight ass-related revelation, that things are always as their supposed to be.  Right that minute.  Had I known what my body would become post-pregnancy?  Probably would’ve enjoyed that much slimmer ass prior-to.  I see pics of myself around wedding time and think, “That girl was so beautiful.  Wish she had known it then.”

But before this comes across as all woe-is-fatty-Sarah and whatnot, let me just say this: I remember, when I was younger, thinking my mother was absolutely gorgeous.  I see pics now of us together when I was a toddler and she is just glowing.  Happy.  Gorgeous.

So I may not be skinny.  But I have to believe, in my heart of hearts, that Tony finds me absolutely perfect.

And that’s enough.