(Alternate Title: SURPRISE!) 

It was the kind of morning where I considered how quickly someone would notice if I dropped my child off at daycare and just never picked him up, and how far I could get before they HAD noticed and tried to track me down.  The Runaway Bride made it work for her.  What about the Runaway Mom?

I should offer this disclaimer: I know I have it good.  We’re fortunate in every way.  That does not mean I don’t occasionally have THE MORNING FROM HELL, and while I considered just writing about sunshine and rainbows this morning, I thought IT’S MY FREAKIN BLOG AND I CAN WHINE IF I WANT TO.  Feel free to click out to happier things, or stay here and bitch with me. 

One of the things I’ve found I have to do on a daily basis is walk.  I will force myself to take half an hour (or more, depending on the day) to throw on my iPod Shuffle and walk.  This is often the only time I get to myself a day.  Half an hour.  Which, I suppose, is more than SAHMs get, but dayum, it sucks.  I pick up the baby every day and bring him home, and because I’m home first, I typically have a baby on my hip from the moment I get home till the moment he’s down for the night.  Last night, after the baby fussedandfussedandfussed and WOULD NOT NAP, I finally handed the baby to Bryan, put on my sweats, grabbed a dog and the Shuffle, and took 30 minutes to myself.

Oh, and Bryan is out of town AGAIN.  For the third time in a month.  I know this is part of his job, and it’s not like I have much else scheduled, but I am absolutely overcome with jealousy that he’s getting the occasional night of baby-free sleep.  We actually tried a new thing this weekend, where one of us would take the baby all night and let the other sleep.  That worked GREAT for his night, but on my night of baby-free sleep, Binja woke up with a raging fever and an anger management issue. (And I had a hangover, so that sucked doubly.)

(In Bryan’s defense, that wasn’t his fault.  At all.  Neither are his out-of-town trips.  I do understand that.  SO DON’T LEAVE A NASTY COMMENT, BRYAN.)

The baby had a rough night last night, with him waking up at 3:30 and 5:15.  I decided to let him sleep till the last minute because he hadn’t slept soundly last night, and as I loaded him in the car seat, he unleashed a banshee-esque howl that DID. NOT. STOP till we crossed the threshold of my mother’s house.

And the part that I lovedLOVEDloved most of all?  I run into the bedroom to grab my shoes before I leave, and my slipping in allowed the yowling of a baby, an insanely annoying cat, and two dogs tussling to permeate the otherwise silent bedroom (and a partridge in a pear tree!).  Bryan rolled over and said, “Wow, sounds like you have the Wild Kingdom out there.”

YEP.  ISN’T IT FUN?  NOW ROLL OVER AND SLEEP FOR ANOTHER HOUR.

(THAT deserves a nasty comment.  Which is probably easier to formulate when you SLEPT TILL 8.)

Frustration abounds in other parts of my life as well.  Yesterday, I received the news that my boss, whom I love and adore working for, accepted a new position somewhere else.  Yay for her; suck for us.  I’m also trying to work with a show that I feel I’m constantly fighting against.  Could be my perception is flawed, especially when I’m this tired and frustrated, but I’m close to hitting a wall where that’s concerned.

Now.  I’ve whined.  If you’re still here, you get a reward.

I’m teaching him to CHEESE! on command.  This is his CHEESE! face.