Bryan and I went to Chili’s for dinner some time back, and while we ate wordlessly (we were both numb with exhaustion), I noticed a lady at another table mutter a prayer over her food, genuflect, and then smile before taking her first bite. I was immediately overcome with jealousy.
There are times when I crave something that concrete to believe in, something that regimented and firm, so that I could go through those motions a few times a day and feel like I’d done everything necessary to be blessed for another day.
My house is a very spiritual one, but we don’t really conform topractice any one religion. We also don’t belong to any church, nor do we visit them. Our Sunday mornings are typically spent at home, lazily watching Spongebob every other weekend.
We don’t judge those who worship faithfully (obviously). We’re just not like that.
I asked Bryan how we planned to explain Easter to our child when he was old enough to understand the concept, seeing as how we don’t really exercise “faith” that way. How are we supposed to impart the wisdom of a book that we don’t really put a lot of stock in? And we’re supposed to claim reverence on this holiday? Might as well worship St. Patrick, while we’re at it.
Bryan said that, even if we don’t discuss religious ramifications, we should explain and enforce morality. (I withheld the “DUH” that suddenly filled my mouth. No, we should allow him to run about as a heathen, godless and evil.) I have no issue with explaining the reason behind the holiday, but I also feel we should give the same effort to holidays we don’t normally celebrate: Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, etc. I will learn to spell them by then, honest.
I think we will raise our son to believe in a higher power, as we do, and make karma and The Golden Rule our bibles. The reason for the season, I believe, is to gather with family and friends and treasure all that you’re blessed with.
So, everyone out there, I open the comments for your opinions. (Please keep them appropriate. No name-calling, no declaring my family morally corrupt, etc.) If you’ve raised children in the same way, tell me how you did it. If you’re a stout, church-going family, how do you balance out all that your child learns? And, lastly, what in the HELL does a bunny have to do with Easter?
We have been having the same discussion around here…. We haven’t come up with a solution yet. I am curious to hear what your readers have to say,
Aardvark’s last blog post..2 years
the bunny is from the peagan religious origins. It’s a fertility symbol of Spring, easter being related to the solstice and all. Not christian at all.
Bryan’s last blog post..exersaucer!!!
That’s something I didn’t know, Bryan.
Our kids go to church with their aunt and uncle, so we’ve been lucky in that respect. I have mixed feelings on the issue, because for me organized religion hasn’t been a positive experience. Like you, Chris and I are spiritual and believe in a Higher Power, but neither of us has felt strongly compelled to attend church in a long time.
Actually, some of my most spiritual experiences are related to theater. I love the time I spend with the cast and crew, and being able to make people feel good or think about something they wouldn’t have otherwise stores up some good karma for me.
Good subject!
I have basically explained to my kids what christianity is, what most of the holidays are about religious and non-religious and how they have their own choice in their faith, I was told I needed to go to a “Church of God” which I do not believe in myself, and most of my life I was raised that I should live my life in this manner and when I got old enough to understand things on my own I disagreed with the exact beliefs of this religious group, and have decided to find flaws in most all other religous groups and well its not my place to tell my children to believe this and not that, that is something that will be their own just like what they want to be when they grow up 
Even though I have high hopes and expectations, it is their life not mine. So all I can say is good luck with it and I am sure you and Bryan will raise your children to be wonderful people!
My kids are old enough to see and notice that we do not go to church, I have issues of my own and don’t want to damper my children with my thoughts which I have came about throughout my lifetime when it comes to religion. My daughter becoming a teenager raised the thought about maybe if I had her in church it would keep her out of trouble… but then I think of the days I was in church as a young teenager and how much trouble I still found!
I think a lot of people who grew up in church start re-attending church over this same conversation. We go to church with our kids weekly. They may (at some point) reject our particular “faith choices”, but we both grew up going to church, and we want our kids to have the basics.
I remember being six years old (when we first moved here) and sitting at the lunch table with my friend (Kelly) who told me that I would go to hell because I hadn’t been “saved” and I didn’t go to church. She then pulled out this map that was like one of those puzzles in travel books, you know where you have to get from one end to another with a pencil. She showed me the “right path” which had a church and a cross. And the wrong path, I don’t remember what it had.
Even though inside I was scared, I remember being like, “Um, that’s ridiculous” which in 6 year old speak probably came out as “nuh-uh!” And I did resent not being brought up in a church for many years, just because I thought I was missing something. But now I’m very thankful, because I am sure that what I believe is there because I believe it, and not because it had been spoon fed to me as a child and I know of nothing else.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that religion can be a great thing, but one must be careful that they believe out of faith, and not out of fear of the unknown. The Easter Bunny brings chocolate, so I wouldn’t be questioning it lest the chocolate stop coming!
@ Gena - When you said that, about theatre being your church, the other night.. I almost cried. Seriously. (This was before we began the breathing exercises, at which point Nina and I were stifling laughter.) But I couldn’t agree more. There is nothing more spiritual than applause that validates your work, and lets you know that you DID make a difference. And the commeraderie of a cast/crew is definitely reminiscent of a congregation.