In a VERY awkward moment yesterday, I saw someone I went to high school with.  More succinctly, I saw her because she was picking up the trash in my building. (Apparently, she was hired to fill the slot left by Lenny the Creep.) Honestly, I couldn’t place her face (DON’T SMOKE POT, CHILDREN. EVER.), but she remembered me right away.  And after I heard her name, I vaguely remembered her from some class a million years ago. 

I was buried in tons of papers when she approached me, and after chatting a bit to fill eachother in on our lives, she said, “Well, you’re doin’ pretty well here.  Guess you got all educated, huh?  What fancy college d’you go to?”

I smiled.  This is my LEAST favorite question in all of the world.  Yes, it even surpasses “What’s that smell?” and “How’s that diet going?”, neither of which have even potentiallly good answers.  Because the answer is ugly and makes me feel like a lie.

The same thing came up the other day, when I was talking to a coworker about how our weeks were going.  He mentioned it being Spring Break, and I confessed that holidays like that don’t even pop up on my radar anymore.  “Oh,” he said, “I thought you were in school.”

“ME?” I said, confused.

“Yeah.  [Coworker who works at my same level] said you were going to get your master’s.” 

I quickly changed the subject.  Because, y’all, here’s the big secret: I am so unedumacated, it’s ridiculous.  Sure, I went to a fancy college.  Went to a few of ‘em.  Unfortunately, I have very little to show for it, save some sweatshirts and odd memorabilia. (Tons of purple cows.  Don’t ask.) Most everyone at my level has their bachelor degree; half of them have their masters.  Me?  Yeah, um.. I never even completed obedience class with my dog.

Turns out the janitor that I knew had finished her BA at AA&MU.  Which means, on paper, she is WAAAAY more qualified than I do to my job.  I got here by a pound of shit and shinola, and I know that it will only carry me so far.

Edit: So I wrote that first part early this morning.  I just came back from a training refresher course for a system that is routinely upgraded.  I sat in there, with people WAY more educated than I am, and realized that I am so far ahead of the curve it’s not even funny.  They all sat there, with their big fancy degrees, fearing the upgrade of a new software system.  They said it was too much trouble to learn this new system.  While I saw how user friendly it could be, and how they’ve managed to cut 20 or so odd screens out of a routine document, they all sat there, trembling at technology.

THAT’S why I’m where I am.  Shit, shinola, and a willingness to learn.