To sum up the last 24 hours of my life: two exits, no waiting. 

I thought I had avoided the stomach flu that encased most of our city for the past few months. Bryan, who typically NEVER vomits, was plagued with it the day we brought Binja home from the hospital. Most of my coworkers have passed it around more than once. Jenni’s suffered through it I don’t know how many times. But me? I Purell the hell out of everything, and carry a Lysol can around to all of my coworkers desks to decontaminate.

UNTIL LAST NIGHT.

I am typically fine with a stomach bug. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I just accept it (”Okay, guess we’re in this for the long haul”), I embrace it (”It’s got to cycle through”), and I just go for it (”HOARK”). And I’ll actually try and rationalize it as it goes.. “Well, let’s see. We last threw up TWO hours ago, which means we’re on the downhill slide.. perhaps we’re done here.”

Last night, though, it sucked big ole donkey balls because OHMYGOD, I had not eaten anything since noon-thirty. And even then, it was a mere cup of coconut soup and a roll of sushi. Nothing huge, nothing rich. And it was all digested by the time the fun began. So my body was trying to expell something that DIDN’T EXIST. It was so awful.

I somehow managed to get through a photo shoot while taking inconspicuous (really? who am I kidding?) trips to the bathroom every five minutes. But by the time I was back home, blech.

I have to say this, though: thank GOD it happened today and not, say, later in the week when I am a single mother.

When Bryan and I first started dating, I caught a nasty stomach flu. He called me after he got off of work and asked what we were doing that night. I laughed and said I had unbreakable plans to puke all night. And he offered to come over. I remember saying, “Um, you want to come over while I’m vomiting everywhere?” And he said, “Yeah. I’ve done morning sickness before. This is nothing.”

So he did. He came over, brought ginger ale, and rubbed my back.. A LOT. This was all so foreign to me. When I’m ill, I’m all like leave me the hell alone so I can get better. But it was really nice to be taken care of. And he was so awesome about it.

Last night was no exception. He offered to take the couch, and I was immediately relieved of anything baby-related. I needed that. I needed him to just take up the slack and let me be sick. And he did. Without me even hinting at it. So I slept a BUNCH today, and I’m currently debating what I want to try and eat. (Irony: I want coconut soup.)

I plan to be up and about tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that that’s plausible.