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Things You Never Say to a New Mother
Category: The Mommy |

Mom: His skin looks SO much better!  What have you been using? 

Me: I’ve been making a homemade concoction of Cetaphil, Hyliera, and .5% hydrocortisone cream. It’s really making a difference.

Mom: Seriously! Look at his legs! So, I’m sorry, you said you mixed what together again..?

Me: I just took an empty philosophy bottle and stuck in some Cetaphil, some of that Hyliera, and..

Mom: .. and hydrochloric acid. I heard that part.

Me: .. NOOOO, I said hydrocortisone cream. Please, for the love of all that’s holy, do NOT put hydrochloric acid on my child.

Mom: Shut up. It’s early.

Me: Okay, then should I bring him back later, or leave him here and risk him looking like The Joker when I get back?

7:33 pm

5 Responses to “Things You Never Say to a New Mother”

  1. Pocklock Says:

    No hydrochloric acid. Noted. :-)

  2. Sarah Says:

    Given that it’s 2 am and I’m doing chem homework, this is hysterical. Gabriel synthesis anyone?

  3. Aardvark Says:

    LOL…you should get your mom to fix him a margarita! He won’t care if she pours acid on him then….

    in other news, we switched Scout over to all Burt’s Bees (Baby Bees) products for bath time and it has made a HUGE difference in her skin. I especially love the buttermilk bath soak…and she smells so good too!

  4. Sarah Says:

    I do love Burt’s Bees, but I haven’t tried the baby line (mainly because it’s SOO expensive, and I’d hate for it to go to waste if it irritates him). But now that we know another family is using the line, we won’t just throw it away if it doesn’t work!

    Speaking of hand-me-downs, I cleaned out all of the Binja’s newborn clothes and pulled some unisex stuff for Penelope..

  5. Sympathy Pain » Blog Archive » tony and the flesh eating alien Says:

    [...] skin to get the baby smell back. And, my mother-in-law wants to use hydrochloric acid on him…read up. Did You Enjoy this Post? Subscribe to Sympathy Pain. It’s Free! « Back Home Posted in [...]

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