Let’s recap yesterday’s events.
I took my son to the doctor, where he was poked and prodded approximately eighteen thousand times. He did not like this. And my son does not cry.. he yelps. Screams. Like this:
BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!
You know, for HOURS.
When I got back to work, I printed out my Vagina Monologues piece in anticipation of our run through tonight.
Could not find the print-out. As in, it never made it to our printer.
I work in a very, VERY red workplace. We don’t discuss vaginas here. We especially don’t like angry vaginas. I figured I had just not pressed print. Or something. I prayed that it just got stuck in the internets.
Bryan picked up the Binja, and by the time I made it home, the child was a feverish mess. Temperature of 101, ANGRY, and just generally a cranky baby. BROKE MY HEART. I canceled my attendance at rehearsal and rocked the baby for an hour. We bathed him, slathered him in ointment (eczema much?), and tried to get him to relax. He konked out around nine, from a very long day.
I think I pissed Bryan off during the night. After Bryan got up and fed him around 12:30, he came back to bed. The baby was still grunting and being obnoxious over the monitor (he was just in a lot of pain, God love him), and I muttered, “I’ll get him.”
An hour later, I woke up to a ticked off Bryan getting BACK into bed. I must’ve been more sleepy than I realized.
The baby slept hard from 1:30 till 6:30, not even waking up to eat. (Please consider that this is my child, and we do not sleep through meals.)
I get to work this morning and have an email from a coworker in ANOTHER building: “Have your printout. Could you please not be so ANGRY?”
DAMNIT.
The good news is that she and other female coworkers were crying from laughing so hard at the monologue. They may come see the show now. But MAN.. how in the WORLD did that happen? I have a default printer set on my machine that is not but two feet away from my desk. I print a monologue with various and sundry expletives and vaginal references? It prints IN ANOTHER BUILDING.
I guess it’s fate, uniting vaginas.
Of course it would be THAT print out that would trigger the freak printer gap in the space-time continuum. Good thing she had a sense of humor. Maybe the computers are programmed so that the word “vagina” automatically diverts prints to the Naughty Printer.
Fantastic!
Nathan takes shots just as hard. We are a sobbing mess the first night and crank fest for the next two days, even on tylenol! Poor kiddo.
Sorry it was such a hard day.
I’m dreading Jillian’s shots. I’m taking that day off work. She gets shots @ 10. I get a crown (had a root canal months ago) at 1 and get an IUD put in at 3. I think we will both be fussy all night.
Printer mishaps. So embarrassing. I once printed a photo of Nicole Richie because I liked her haircut and I had a cut for myself booked for that evening after work. When I went to pick it up, my VP was standing next to the printer printing a long presentation. Wouldn’t you know that he scooped up Nicole as the last page of his presentation? When he asked me where my printout was, I said, “Hmm. Must not have come through!” And ran out of there SO fast. I hope he proofed the whole thing before handing it to the CEO!