Because I typically follow the law of Dooce, I don’t blog about work.  I try not too.  Sometimes, I will be so riled up however, that I cannot help myself.

Like today.

SO.  I returned to work on 01/21.  My doctor’s office faxed in a hand-written note from the doctor THAT day, and I also called my company’s leave management department to verify that I had returned.  Tuesday, they said they had received it and all was well.

Wednesday (the 23rd) I tried to access an online system I use for my job and it wouldn’t let me in.  Said I wasn’t an “ACTIVE” employee.  So I called Leave Management.  They said they hadn’t received anything from my doctor.

But the note? I asked.

Not official, they said.

So my doctor’s office faxed over the company’s OFFICIAL RETURN TO WORK form on Thursday.  I called on Friday morning and they said, “Well, it takes 24 to 48 hours to register in the system.”

So I waited.

I called back on Monday morning and they said they were showing something incoming, but couldn’t tell me if it was the form they needed or not.  I should call back.

I wasn’t here on Tuesday.

Wednesday (now the 30th) I called and they said they had received the form.  And all was right with the world.

I didn’t believe them, so I called back later that afternoon.  Of course, NOW they say, “Because your doctor approved your leave THROUGH the 18th with a return to work on the 21st, you should’ve returned on the 18th and your pay will be docked accordingly.”

Um, hells-to-the-no.  My paid six weeks that the company guarantees me didn’t end until midnight of the 18th.  And read the form, stupid people: it specifically says “RETURN TO WORK: 01/21″.  Where does that leave any gray area?

So today, I call AGAIN.  I get a lady that I know I’ve spoken to at least five times already, and I ask to be immediately transfered to my leave coordinator (someone I didn’t know existed until I asked my manager for help).  She says to me, honest to Allah, “I can do anything your leave coordinator can do, so talk to me first.”

I should state that exhaustion often leaves me cranky.  But I’m self-aware, so I make a concerted effort when I’m most tired to NOT be cranky.  I politely decline speaking with her and ask to be transfered again.  And again, she demands that I run my “issue” by her first.

“Okay, lady,” I say.  “My ISSUE, as you so condescendingly put it, is that you people don’t have a consistent answer when I call.  Because of that, I’ve been away from my home and working my ass off here and probably won’t get any pay for it, since I wasn’t approved for a leave to last longer than the 21st.  I’ve done everything you people have asked me to, most likely more than once, and yet I can’t get a single straight answer.  So if you’ll now be so kind to transfer me, I’ll forego speaking to my leave coordinator and would much rather speak to your manager.  And yes, I’ll hold.”

She got very quiet and asked who my leave coordinator was.

I, also very quietly, asked to speak to her manager.

AND THEN THE BITCH DISCONNECTED ME.

I have decided to write this blog instead of calling back just yet, so as to cool down.  I know the lady’s name, so I can find her easily, and I need not take out my frustration on some innocent who happens to answer the phone when I call.

BUT OHMYGOD.